Holiday Stuff

December 17

There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.  ~  Oscar Levant

All generalizations are false, including this one.  ~  Mark Twain

[This photo was adopted for the sole purpose of being the display picture for the Facebook posting . . . ]

December 8

The comedy has had to get so good because the news has got so bad. ~ John Fugelsang

[The Super and I have decided that we’re just to exhausted to shop for and wrap Christmas gifts for each other. So, having already made our disbursements to all our favorite charities, we decided to just make further disbursements to our favorite establishments of fine dining. Wednesdays are half-priced bottles of wine night at the Lure. Ta-da! Guess what we ordered on this night . . . ]

For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton. ~ Elayne Boosler

You know you’re getting fat when you step on the dog’s tail and he dies. ~ Elayne Boosler

December 10

I am thankful that all the people in the world who absolutely, positively, know what God wants, usually kill mostly each other. ~ Elayne Boosler

[The annual get-together at Arrowwood for Those Who Stay Behind. The current and past members, with spouses, of the senior men’s golf league at Alexandria Golf Club. Those not in attendance have already fled below the Mason-Dixon Line, usually at the first sighting of a snow flake . . . ]

I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV. ~ Bette Midler

[All photos herein were taken by the Super with her phone camera. I failed miserably in my reporting duties by bringing my snapshot camera for convenience only to find its battery was dead . . . ]

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don’t eat bagels and M&M’s in the morning. They want things like toast. I say, ‘I don’t have these recipes.’ ~ Elayne Boosler

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It’s a whole different way of thinking. ~ Elayne Boosler

I read books that say if you want to keep sex hot you tell a person what you want. How do you tell ’em you want somebody else? ~ Elayne Boosler

Pigs are smarter than dogs, and both are smarter than Congress. ~ Elayne Boosler

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French. ~ Bette Midler

Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel? ~ Audrey Griswold.

Look, Charlie, let’s face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It’s run by a big eastern syndicate, you know. ~ Lucy Van Pelt

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, ‘So does the guy I stole it from.’ ~ David Letterman

It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales. ~ Milton Berle

We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks. ~ Bill McKibben

[By the end of the evening, my perfectly comfortable Bjorn’s (age unknown) had come to the end of their useful lifespan . . . ]

December 11

Political comedy, when done right, is a delivery system for truth. ~ John Fugelsang

[The next day we repaired to Carlos Creek Winery winery for another afternoon with Elsa Lee and friends . . . ]

[And a wine barrel Christmas tree . . . ]

[The prince and princess of Ashby arrive for the festivities . . . ]

Would be cool to wake up one day and there’s just a huge, new, unexpected bit of incredibly good news. ~ Chris Hayes

Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.  ~  Rita Mae Brown

I want it all – and I would like it delivered. ~ Better Midler

[The divine Ms. Lee . . . ]

I’m working my way toward divinity. ~ Bette Midler

To all those saying that Dolly Parton should have been Time’s “Person of the Year,” count me in! ~ Dan Rather

I was the biggest George Harrison fanatic in the world. He was raised Catholic; my parents are both ex-clergy, so I was raised Catholic, and I admired how he used his faith. ~ John Fugelsang

Men in power always seem to get involved in sex scandals, but women don’t even have a word for ‘male bimbo.’ Except maybe ‘senator. ~ Elayne Boosler

People want sex education out of the schools. They believe sex education causes promiscuity. Hey, I took algebra, but I never do math. ~ Elayne Boosler

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones. ~ Guy Endore Kaiser

Jesus was a peaceful radical and non-violent revolutionary who hung around with lepers, prostitutes and criminals and was anti-capitalism, anti-wealth, anti-public prayer and anti-death penalty, but who never once was remotely anti-gay. ~ John Fugelsang

We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select the most important of Christmas symbols. ~ Clark Griswold.

Now I’m an old Christmas tree, the roots of which have died. They just come along and while the little needles fall off me replace them with medallions. ~ Orson Welles

There’s no experience quite like cutting your own live Christmas tree out of your neighbor’s yard. ~ Dan Florence

[Every time Elsa sings Elton John’s “Border Song”, Ruthie rushes to put ‘bread” in her jar . . . ]

I don’t know what I believe. I guess that makes me a Christmas Tree Agnostic. ~ Stephanie Perkins

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.  ~  Mae West

My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. ~ Elayne Boosler

Education is my next big thing. When music and art were taken out of the schools, I went berserk! ~ Bette Midler

[Coming and going to the winery, one usually must cross the Darling-Carlos Bridge. On this day, while crossing, looking south one would see an ice covered Lake Darling . . . ]

Some people look like frozen lakes; break the ice, there you will see a lively world! ~ Mehmet Murat Ildan

[Looking north, one would see a Lake Carlos with open water – and full of lots and noisy waterfowl . . . ]

No matter how bad things get, it’s impossible not to love someone who made you toast. Once you’ve been through that crusty surface to the soft underneath and tasted the warm, salty butter you’ll last forever. ~ Nigel Slater

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.  ~  Gore Vidal

I’ll travel the sub-zero tundra; I’ll brave glaciers and frozen lakes; And that’s just the tip of the iceberg; I’ll do whatever it takes; To change. ~ Owl City

The true business of the philosopher, though not flattering to his vanity, is merely to ascertain, arrange and condense the facts. ~ John Leslie

During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bodily tissue is frozen as solid as a supermarket turkey. ~ Dave Barry

Up Next: Basketball and stuff . . .