July 8

I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being. ~ Thornton Wilder

Independence Day, like many major holidays these days, is more than just a single day (Christmas is an entire season). So, this a recollection of days before and days after the 4th of July . . . ~ Me

The theatre was created to tell people the truth about life and the social situation. ~ Stella Adler

June 22

“1972. A then-lawyer at the ACLU named Ruth Bader Ginsburg set out to convince an all-male Supreme Court to take sex discrimination seriously with an unconventional strategy. She didn’t just bring cases where women were the victims of discrimination; she also brought cases where men were the victims. In this episode, we look at how a key battle for gender equality was won with frat boys and beer.*

This world premiere one act play is adapted with permission from NPR and Radiolab from one of their most popular podcast episodes. Minnetonka Theatre is excited to bring this remarkable true story back to life on the TLHD stage. Two performances only.”

[The kids from Minnetonka did it again. They performed their tied for first place in the state one-act play contest “Honk & Holler” at Theatre L’Homme Dieu on Thursday night. Incidentally, Alexandria tied them for first place . . . ]

Carolyn becomes the reluctant plaintiff in a historic Supreme Court case argued by Ruth Bader Ginsburg, a young lawyer at the ACLU, who convinces an all-male Supreme Court to take discrimination against women seriously by bringing a case against the young men who frequent Carolyn’s establishment. It’s a remarkable story of two very different women and how, together, they change the world. This one act play, performed by Minnetonka Theatre, is just 40 min, no intermission.

Free speech means the right to shout ‘theatre’ in a crowded fire. ~ Abbie Hoffman

[A fan enjoying the pre-performance amenities . . . ]

When I saw ‘Hercules,’ my mind just exploded because I was extremely thin; I was insecure. I literally ran out of the theatre and started lifting things, anything I could think of – milk crates. I’m still lifting things. It changed my life. ~ Sylvester Stallone

[“Thank you, Becky!”]

I like the ephemeral thing about theatre, every performance is like a ghost – it’s there and then it’s gone. ~ Maggie Smith

[The TLHD’s executive director, Nicole Mulder, and Minnetonka Theatre’s artistic director, Trent Boyum, discuss what is about to be presented . . . ]

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it. ~ Alfred Hitchcock

The last time I heard real screaming in the theatre was when I went to see a movie I did years ago, called ‘Wait Until Dark.’ Now, my mother was the least emotional person on the planet, but when I got killed in the movie, she stood up and screamed, ‘That’s my son!’ At Radio City Music Hall in New York! ~ Alan Arkin

I always liked the visuals to be choice and at the same time minimalist. And, I love black boxes. After all, that’s what theatre is, it’s an empty space, and it’s both limited and unlimited because the space is the space, but what you can do with people’s imaginations is really endless. ~ Harold Prince

In the end I think theatre has only one subject: justice. ~ Edward Bond

June 24

In its beginnings, music was merely chamber music, meant to be listened to in a small space by a small audience. ~ Gustav Mahler

[This was the last performance of the 1922-23 season for the Central Lakes Symphony Orchestra. And we were treated to a sky show on the way home . . . ]

We are a summer camp for families of all shapes and sizes where you can create family memories and reconnect. We take care of you! Family Camp is a vacation with no pre-planning needed, no cooking (unless you want to), and plenty of free time with and without the kids. You will leave feeling rested, spiritually renewed, and reconnected as a family. ~ Mount Carmel website

[Arriving for the Chamber Concert at Mount Carmel on Lake Carlos in Alexandria . . . ]

Rows and flows of angel hair . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

[The cloud show on the drive home . . . ]

And ice cream castles in the air . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

And feather canyons everywhere . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

Looked at clouds that way . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

But now they only block the sun . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

They rain and they snow on everyone . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

So many things I would have done . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

But clouds got in my way . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now . . . ~ Joni Mitchell

June 27

One of my biggest thrills for me still is sitting down with a guitar or a piano and just out of nowhere trying to make a song happen. ~ Paul McCartney

[The entry sign tells all . . . ]

Music doesn’t lie. If there is something to be changed in this world, then it can only happen through music. ~ Jimi Hendrix

[The aforementioned (by sign) Anthony Miltich . . . ]

You couldn’t not like someone who liked the guitar. ~ Stephen King

[The venue . . . ]

Gathered Oaks, a sister property of Rustic Oaks out of Moorhead, Minnesota, shares in the owners’ dream of offering a place to remind us of shared hopes and dreams, a place where we can dwell with nature, and a place where we celebrate the connections of our loved ones. The barn and land here is the heart of many special gatherings and events, and we’re eager to share in your joy and delight as you plan your wedding day or fete. ~ Website

There are countless golden moments between loved ones that weave themselves into the day when it’s wedding day or a special event. We take these to heart and always wish to offer the atmosphere in which you’re celebrating be the loveliest and coziest it can be! ~ Website

Since I can’t read music and everything, I find out that I do the best when I just listen to where I’m trying to go with it, and where it can go, and not try to rush it. ~ Stevie Ray Vaughan

The guitar has a kind of grit and excitement possessed by nothing else. ~ Brian May

[Abnormally well-behaved audience . . . ]

Give me a guitar, give me a piano, give me a broom and string; I wouldn’t get bored anywhere. ~ Keith Richards

[The usual when Anthony sings “Piano Man,” we all rush forward to “put bread in his jar” . . . ]

I recognize that I have some responsibility to keep the music alive, and it’s pretty honorable position to be in. ~ Eric Clapton

Don’t use your brain to play it, let your feelings guide your fingers. ~ Jimi Hendrix

Every time you pick up your guitar to play, play as if it’s the last time. ~ Eric Clapton

Who I am as a guitarist is defined by my failure to become Jimi Hendrix. ~ John Mayer

Rock stars come and go. Musicians play until they die. ~ Eddie Van Halen

My guitar is not a thing. It is an extension of myself. It is who I am. ~ Joan Jett

To me a guitar is kind of like a woman. You don’t know why you like ’em but you do. ~ Waylon Jennings

Besides being a guitar player, I’m a big fan of the guitar. I love that damn instrument. ~ Steve Vai

Guitar is the best form of self-expression I know. Everything else, and I’m just sort of tripping around, trying to figure my way through life. ~ Slash

[Full bar, pizza oven, and food, at Gathered Oaks . . . ]

The guitar is a wonderful instrument which is understood by few. ~ Franz Schubert

The guitar was my weapon, my shield to hide behind. ~ Brian May

[A last look back as we flee the premises for the play at Theatre L’Homme Dieu . . . ]

A guitar is a very personal extension of the person playing it. You have to be emotionally and spiritually connected to your instrument. I’m very brutal on my instruments, but not all the time. ~ Eddie Van Halen

The theatre is the involuntary reflex of the ideas of the crowd. ~ Sarah Bernhardt

The way the world is, I think a silly evening in the theatre is a good thing, to take our minds off terror. ~ Tim Curry

Every baseball crowd, like every theatre audience, has its own distinctive attitude and atmosphere. ~ Bill Veeck

June 28

As far as I’m concerned, there won’t be a Beatles reunion as long as John Lennon remains dead. ~ George Harrison

[The Boys of ’65 wandered down to Glenwood yesterday for a nosh at Rolling Forks Vineyards on the south side of Lake Minnewaska. Bradley unfortunately is still on an extended medical sabbatical – but we’re cheering for him. Mayo opted for a fleet of sweet wines while I had Marquette Reserve as beverages for our pizzas. After a month of sunny rain free days, the much needed rain finally arrived and its aftermath made for a somewhat hazy cloudy day with limited visibility of the scenic lake lying below us. Despite that, Mayo’s first impression was that of a lovely place to enjoy such an outing. We enjoyed our usual three hours together and hope to get together as a threesome again next month . . . ]

It would be fun to do a reunion show. I hope we do it some day, but it better be soon. We’re all getting on. ~ William Christopher

[Mayo with his wine fleet and pizza . . . ]

The future is built on brains, not prom court, as most people can tell you after attending their high school reunion. But you’d never know it by talking to kids or listening to the messages they get from the culture and even from their schools. ~ Anna Quindlen

[A longtime favorite writer quoted above and my longtime favorite pizza below . . . ]

Without a reunion, the Eagles are forever young, like James Dean. ~ Glenn Frey

[Lake Minnewaska at the bottom of the hill . . . ]

If the Police could do a reunion… One of the biggest jerks I ever met was Sting. If he can do it, then anyone can do it. It’s not that big a deal. And the Eagles! They did it! They severely hated each other. It’s just rock and roll. ~ Steven Adler

[Lake Minnewaska, closer-upper . . . ]

Maybe one day I can have a reunion with myself. ~ Sebastian Bach

[Looking toward the western end of Lake Minnewaska . . . ]

I’ve never been to a school reunion. Mainly because I’m still in touch with my two friends and after them, I only really liked the teachers. I’m pretty sure no one invites teachers to school reunions. ~ Sarah Millican

[Looking northwest over the lake . . . ]

Many a witty inspiration is like the surprising reunion of befriended thoughts after a long separation. ~ Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

[Looking north across the lake . . . ]

If you share a common ancestor with somebody, you’re related to them. It doesn’t mean that you’re going to invite them to the family reunion, but it means that you share DNA. ~ Henry Louis Gates

There are no ‘Leave It to Beaver’ families. Everybody’s family’s got that one nut that comes to the family reunion and you’re like, OK, that guy’s here. ~ Eddie Griffin

[The building with the restaurant and wine making apparatus . . . ]

There’s some horrible connotations in the word ‘reunion.’ ~ Carrie Brownstein

Let’s put it this way: there wouldn’t be much point in me attending a high-school reunion now because there wouldn’t be anybody there. We’d struggle to raise a quorum. ~ Clint Eastwood

Musical theatre history is littered with bad reviews for now classic pieces. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

[When your entire life revolves around eating (Wednesday night fine dining at the golf club) . . . ]

If the radical right had its way we’d all be church-going polyester heterosexuals driving around in white Cadillacs eating meatloaf and wax beans while mammoth bulldozers leveled all our forests and even hummingbirds were extinct. ~ Charley, The Voice of the Butterfly – Author: John Nichols

The truth, the absolute truth, is that the chief beauty for the theatre consists in fine bodily proportions. ~ Sarah Bernhardt

My plan is to have a theatre in some small town or something and I’ll be manager. Ill be the crazy old movie guy. ~ Quentin Tarantino

Up Next: Part 2 . . .

July 5

I hate writing, I love having written. ~ Dorothy Parker

These are the final days of Mini U, i.e., college; a day of rest in Nashville; and the return home. I came home so much smarter again I decided to re-take the SAT’s. At my age, it has taken me so long to pound out this puppy I need a new avocation. But I love paying homage to Dorothy Parker . . . ~ Me

It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard. ~ Dorothy Parker

June 14

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone. ~ Dorothy Parker

[It’s all about writers . . . ]

Their pooled emotions wouldn’t fill a teaspoon.  ~  Dorothy Parker

If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of ‘The Elements of Style.’ The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy. ~ Dorothy Parker

[Truman Capote and Harper Lee were friends . . . ]

Four be the things I’d have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt. ~ Dorothy Parker

[Mark Twain was popular as a writer and speaker . . . ]

I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money. ~ Dorothy Parker

[Lest you were wondering about the Dorothy Parker quotes . . . ]

I require three things in a man: he must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid. ~ Dorothy Parker

[Out of a list of 12 writers, I correctly discerned that the two “jerks” were Hemingway and Capote. Unfortunately, I took the class pass-no pass . . . ]

I’d rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ~ Dorothy Parker

[Thomas Wolfe was 6’6″, quirky, didn’t drive, was only 37 when he died from tuberculosis . . . ]

It’s always something. ~ Gilda Radner

[Unfortunately, our professor for this class was medically indisposed . . . ]

One half who graduate from college never read another book. ~ G. M. Trevelyan

[Fortunately, the gentleman in charge of IU travels was immediately available to present a slide show of a recent trip to Antarctica. The day was saved by a nice recovery by Mini U . . . ]

If matters go badly now, they will not always do so. ~ Horace

If there is no struggle, there is no progress. ~ Frederick Douglass

[By the mere accident of table choice, we had dined with Professor Schlib earlier in the week . . . ]

Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. ~ Frederick Douglass

[Lincoln and Douglass met three times; Douglass was invited to Lincoln’s 2nd inauguration . . . ]

It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. ~ Frederick Douglass

[A most interesting fact: There are more photographs of Frederick Douglass than of any other person of the 19th century (which, of course, includes Lincoln) . . . ]

I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress. ~ Frederick Douglass

[Douglass grieved Lincoln’s death . . . ]

I didn’t know I was a slave until I found out I couldn’t do the things I wanted. ~ Frederick Douglass

[The Emancipation Memorial was erected in Washington, D.C. in 1876 (the centennial) funded by the wages of freed slaves . . . ]

To suppress free speech is a double wrong. It violates the rights of the hearer as well as those of the speaker. ~ Frederick Douglass

[Douglass was concerned that the 1876 election ended the Reconstruction era . . . ]

No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck. ~ Frederick Douglass

[D.C. Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes Norton tries every year to have the Emancipation Memorial removed because it’s paternalistic, despite being funded by freed slaves . . . ]

I got all my work done to graduate in two months and then they were like, I’m sorry, you have to take driver’s ed. I just kind of went, Oh, forget it. ~ Fiona Apple

[The view from the DOM’s room. We’re angling for a similar room next year . . . ]

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back. ~ Fred Allen

[This statue was banned in Florida . . . ]

Yeah, I spent about 20 years in a dorm room. It took me a while to graduate. ~ Douglas Wilson

[The adjacent man was subsequently also banned in Florida . . . ]

I don’t look to find an educated person in the ranks of university graduates, necessarily. Some of the most educated people I know have never been near a university. ~ John Keegan

[A wall mural in the Memorial Union . . . ]

Really, the potential for, first of all, any college graduate today is enormously good. These are good times for anyone with a college degree today, particularly African Americans. With a college degree today, you really breach the unemployment rate. ~ Alexis Herman [Editor’s note: Ms. Herman was once the Administrator of the Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division, a/k/a, where I worked. We once had a fine dining lunch together with other staff.]

[Students touring the campus. Here at the Sample Gates . . . ]

For many, graduation marks the end of formal student life – the end of long spring breaks and of thinking that a 10 A.M. class is far too early. ~ Alexa Von Tobel

[ISO a fine dining experience . . . ]

Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California’s schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me. ~ Conan O’Brien

You know what has made me the happiest I’ve ever been? Seeing my son and daughter graduate from college. More than wanting them to be educated, I wanted them to be nice people. To see that they have become both is just a wonderful thing. ~ Gil Scott-Heron

[With the real IU alums at Nick’s English Pub, their hang out back in their days 55+ years ago!]

You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy. ~ Neil Simon

[The penultimate day of college (we have a morning class tomorrow). We have had a lovely week and today we look forward to classes from the superstars. Beth Cate (a Supreme Court expert) begins the day with “Just Shoot Me . . . “, about the 2nd Amendment, of course; and this evening Margie Hershey will address a packed auditorium about the “2024 Elections”.]

June 15

Whenever you put a man on the Supreme Court he ceases to be your friend. ~ Harry S Truman

[Starting the day with a lecture from Beth Cate. There are worse things in life . . . ]

His [Justice Anthony Kennedy] uncertainty on which way to go in partisan gerrymandering and the Masterpiece Cakeshop case shows this. And while he wrote some forward-thinking opinions, he also wrote or joined decisions that contributed to a substantial weakening of our core institutions. ~ Beth Cate

We want to bear witness today that we know the relation between corporate greed and what goes on too often in the Supreme Court decisions. ~ Cornel West

In America, the Supreme Court and the American people believe no one is above the law. ~ Jeff Sessions

If the publicly passed campaign finance laws had not been struck down by the Supreme Court, Club for Growth Action would be illegal, and Heritage Action wouldn’t have the SuperPAC threat to back up its small ad purchases. ~ Zrphyr Teachout

I willingly accept that we who judge must not deny the differences resulting from experience and heritage but attempt, as the Supreme Court suggests, continuously to judge when those opinions, sympathies and prejudices are appropriate. ~ Sonia Sotomayor

Just because a majority of the Supreme Court declares something to be ‘constitutional’ does not make it so. ~ Rand Paul

It’s hard not to have a big year at the Supreme Court. ~ Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Our review of more than 700 years of English and American legal history reveals a strong theme: government has the power to regulate arms in the public square. … Indeed, we can find no general right to carry arms into the public square for self-defense. ~ Judge Jay Bybee

When I joined the Supreme Court in 1975, both state and federal judges accepted the Court’s unanimous decision in United States v. Miller as having established that the Second Amendment’s protection of the right to bear arms was possessed only by members of the militia and applied only to weapons used by the militia. ~ John Paul Stevens

The U.S. Supreme Court has a lot to answer for, because it has made it impossible for Congress to reduce the corrupting influence of money on American political life. ~ Peter Singer

District of Columbia v. Heller, which recognized an individual right to possess a firearm under the Constitution, is unquestionably the most clearly incorrect decision that the Supreme Court announced during my tenure on the bench. ~ John Paul Stevens

Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people. ~ Carl Sagan

We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology. ~ Carl Sagan

[There are a thousand to a million stars in a cluster . . . ]

Sometimes I think we’re alone in the universe, and sometimes I think we’re not. In either case the idea is quite staggering. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[A cluster is up to 10’s of light years across . . . ]

If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe. ~ Carl Sagan

[The universe is 13.7 billion years old. Globular clusters are up to 13 billion years old. There is no available literature from that time . . . ]

When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[The Milky Way has 160 globular clusters . . . ]

Our species needs, and deserves, a citizenry with minds wide awake and a basic understanding of how the world works. ~ Carl Sagan

[In other words, for to have minds wide awake, one must be woke . . . ]

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence. ~ Carl Sagan

[“Order” is the goal of Christianity, Judaism, and Islam . . . ]

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[Catholicism dominated the 16th century . . . ]

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God – but to create him. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[In early maps East was up and Jerusalem was the center of the universe . . . ]

I don’t believe in God but I’m very interested in her. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[By 1450, maps were fairly accurate with North facing up . . . ]

Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep thoughts can be winnowed from deep nonsense. ~ Carl Sagan

[The Garden of Eden is an allegory . . . ]

I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious. ~ Albert Einstein

[The DOM of Fort Wayne . . . ]

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught. ~ Oscar Wilde

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. ~ Erma Bombeck

Success didn’t spoil me; I’ve always been insufferable. ~ Fran Lebowitz

[Undergrads showing off their ‘IU’ cookies at the faculty reception . . . ]

How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is quite clearly Ocean. ~ Arthur C. Clarke

[What we learned in college today . . . ]

The notion of a free press is critical to the American version of democracy. And when we have a political leader who is deliberately trying to undermine faith in that institution, the institution has to stand up for itself. ~ Marjorie Hershey

[She is the author of “Party Politics in America,” now in its 18th edition . . . ]

In a democracy, voters choose their political leaders. In a democracy that permits gerrymandering … elected leaders choose their voters. ~ Marjorie Hershey

[I had a bad angle and bad lighting for photos. But I could hear her just fine. Each year we really look forward to the classes from Professors Hershey and Cate . . . ]

June 16

Hotel rooms inhabit a separate moral universe. ~ Tom Stoppard

[The shared hotel room of the three of us packing up after graduation . . . ]

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. ~ Steven Wright

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out. ~ Henny Youngman

Gaslighting is mind control to make victims doubt their reality. ~ Tracy Malone

[Our last class before graduation. A subject matter appropriate for this day and age . . . ]

Here comes the gaslighting. He’s attempting to make me feel crazy for being scared, even though my fear is more than warranted. ~ Colleen Hoover

If you decide to label a behavior as gaslighting on social or in real-time, be sure you are correct. Because if you are not, you’d be the one gaslighting. ~ Richie Norton

Our potentially prosperous nation is beset by treasonous imbeciles, forgoing commonsense and reason for fearmongered, preconceived notions they’ve been gaslighted into by the very people profiting from their ignorance. ~ Bryan (Nyrhalahotep) Hardbarger

Gaslighting is a subtle form of emotional manipulation that often results in the recipient doubting their own perception of reality and their sanity. In addition, gaslighting is a method of manipulation by toxic people to gain power over you. The worst part about gaslighting is that it undermines your self-worth to the point where you’re second-guessing everything. ~ Dana Arcuri

You just need to be convincing enough to fool the public. That’s easy. ~ Sol Luckman

Three things cannot be long hidden: the sun, the moon, and the truth. ~ Buddha

[“The Biddies” planned this visit for after Mini U on the way home to Nashville . . . ]

Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. ~ Buddha

[Our first view matched the brochure’s cover . . . ]

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. ~ Buddha

[The Cultural Center . . . ]

The mind is everything. What you think you become. ~ Buddha

[The interior of the Cultural Center – beautiful . . . ]

Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.  ~  Dalai Lama

I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done. ~ Buddha

[Rita with our tour guide (for just the three of us) . . . ]

I was born into the world as the king of truth for the salvation of the world. ~ Buddha

[Made of individual beads . . . ]

He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes. ~ Buddha

Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace. ~ Buddha

A woman of the world is anxious to exhibit her form and shape, whether walking, standing, sitting, or sleeping. Even when represented as a picture, she desires to captivate with the charms of her beauty and, thus, to rob men of their steadfast heart. ~ Buddha

Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace. ~ Buddha

It is better to travel well than to arrive. ~ Buddha

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue. ~ Buddha

[Then we took a stroll around the site . . . ]

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. ~ Buddha

[Yurt style cabins . . . ]

A jug fills drop by drop. ~ Buddha

[A lilypad pond . . . ]

Know how to travel from your town to a nearby town without a car, either by bus or by rail. ~ Marilyn Vos Savant

[A Bloomington landmark more famous than Hinkle’s Hamburgers, it’s the last stop on the way out of town towards Nashville . . . ]

I prefer the things around town. I’m not one for going out of town too much. ~ Julie London

[A must stop whenever we’re there . . . ]

All my friends are so small town.  ~ John Cougar Mellencamp

[On State Road 46 between Bloomington and Nashville, we passed John Mellencamp’s pre-divorce house . . . ]

Ain’t that America home of the free, yeah? Little pink houses for you and me. ~ John Mellencamp

[It’s hard to see the house, particularly if you’re driving by apace (and there are no shoulders for stopping) . . . ]

I’m not a princess this ain’t a fairytale. I’m not the one you’ll sweep off her feet. Lead her up the stairwell, this ain’t Hollywood, This is a small town. I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now its too late for you and your White Horse to come around. ~ Taylor Swift

[We missed this Theatre L’Homme Dieu show while we were away. Fortunately, we have witnessed their excellence in the past. Jami and Danny went in our stead and loved it!]

I meet a lot of young people in the Midwest, and I saw what a difference a show like In the Life can make to their lives in some of these small towns where, you know, there are probably two gay people in the whole damn town. ~ Lesley Gore

[Jami got to visit with Lori after the show . . . ]

June 17

There is a comfortable feeling in small towns. It is salubrious. ~ Andie MacDowell

[Just a day for hanging out with “The Biddies” in Nashville . . . ]

June 18

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. ~ Lenny Bruce

[The morning of departure back to Minnesota enjoying a sit in Rita’s porch . . . ]

The secrets of small towns have fascinated writers and readers since the first psychological thriller was penned. ~ Fiona Barton

[Her porch view to the west (toward Bloomington) reflects the “mountains” of Brown County . . . ]

Small towns are the worst for getting recognised. ~ Wayne Knight

[Then a visit to Rita’s United Methodist Church where her Pastor Mary was getting a public buzz cut in advance of upcoming chemo therapy treatments . . . ]

When I read ‘To Kill a Mockingbird,’ I was so struck by the universality of small towns. ~ Tom Brokaw

I think in small towns like this one, whether you’re a man or a woman, you basically do what there is to do. ~ Estelle Parsons

[Confetti flew and applause grew upon completion . . . ]

I grew up with this crazy upbringing of living many places and always being the new kid in town . . . I was constantly arriving in small towns and going to school with kids who’d been together since they were in kindergarten. ~ John Lithgow

[Then just across the street (which describes everywhere in Nashville) for a cool one . . . ]

Fame is only good for one thing – they will cash your check in a small town. ~ Truman Capote

[While Ruthie took care of the bill . . . ]

There are things about growing up in a small town that you can’t necessarily quantify. ~ Brandon Routh

[Rita joined me with her strawberry margarita and Ruthie’s pina colada . . . ]

I come from this really small town near Nashville, Tennessee, where everything was la-di-da and normal. ~ Miley Cyrus

[I opted for the Cold Ass Beer . . . ]

I guess a small-town mayor is sort of like a community organizer, except that you have actual responsibilities. ~ Sarah Palin

[Here’s to another fine week in Hoosierville!]

I’m a small-town girl, and it’ll never be beaten out of me. ~ Erica Durance

[Who has more fun than “The Biddies”?]

My plan is to have a theatre in some small town or something and I’ll be manager. Ill be the crazy old movie guy. ~ Quentin Tarantino

[For reference to where we were, that’s Rita’s church’s steeple in the background . . . ]

Everybody wants you to do good things, but in a small town you pretty much graduate and get married. Mostly you marry, have children and go to their football games. ~ Faith Hill

[And then we were gone . . . ]

June 19

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you’re doing, someone else does. ~ Immanuel Kant

[Jami babysat our babies while were gone. As she prepared to leave for home, Ruthie gave her a squirt off!]

A small town is a place where there’s no place to go where you shouldn’t. ~ Burt Bacharach

[Jami, Danny, and a friend painted and cleaned our garage while we were gone. As a reward for such efforts, along with many thanks, they’ve likely earned a dinner at El Loro on their next visit . . . ]

I think us guys are fortunate to have such a great female fan base, from age eight to 80. I know my grandparents have lots of friends who are saying we want pictures of him topless. It is quite the talk in a small town. ~ Kellan Lutz

These two girls start wanting the same thing because in this neighborhood, they know all the guys so well. It’s a small town and all the guys are just really boring to them. ~ Caroline Dhavernas

I really understand where Alice is coming from – I’ve been in exactly the same place coming from a small town and knowing that I need to do other things, that I have to leave. ~ Molly Parker

That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment. ~ Dorothy Parker

“Excuse my dust.” Parker suggested that this be used as an epitaph on her final resting place – and it was. ~ Dorothy Parker

Up Next: May the Fourth Be With You ( . . . I heard that!)

June 24

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. ~ H. L. Mencken

We would spend the rest of the week on campus, enjoying the life of college students. My university stride long since dissipated (remember crossing the Washington Avenue bridge over the Mississippi River at the U of M between classes?), all our classes were fortunately in the same building (though walking from one wing of the convention center to another could induce muscle cramps). Let us begin . . . ~ Me

Sometimes my wife expresses concern about “overloading the circuit,” a term I suspect she read in one of her magazines. In the past decade or so, the women’s magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that men know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is look at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop; eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home. ~ Dave Barry

CLASSES BEGIN

June 11

Uff da! ~ Me

[This is a late edition photo (it’s now July 10 to be precise). The professional photographer posted over 650 pics of Mini-U week on flickr and this is the one she took of us on registration day. Because we do not have a PhD in such things, we can’t figure out how to enroll in flickr – so I printed this photo off the computer screen and then scanned it into my computer. Thus, it’s not of professional quality, but it’s the best I could do with limited resources, i.e., brains . . . ]

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. ~ Will Rogers

[The view from our hotel room in the Biddle Hotel & Conference Center on the IU campus . . . ]

We the people are the rightful masters of both Congress and the courts, not to overthrow the Constitution but to overthrow the men who pervert the Constitution. ~ Abraham Lincoln

[As the screen says, this was Mini University 2023 Orientation . . . ]

With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. ~ Steven Weinberg

June 12

Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough. ~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

[“The Biddies” and I shared a room with little or no embarrassments . . . ]

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new. ~ Albert Einstein

[Continental breakfast in the Solarium before the Opening Convocation in Alumni Hall. We arrived before it was legal, as is the Supervisor’s wont . . . ]

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile. ~ Mark Twain

[The aforementioned Alumni Hall – as previously noted, we were a tad early . . . ]

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. ~ H. L. Mencken

[I walked outside only to discover that since we were early the door locked behind me . . . ]

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. ~ Abraham Lincoln

[The Opening Convocation in Alumni Hall . . . ]

We are here and it is now. Further than that, all human knowledge is moonshine. ~ H. L. Mencken

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance. ~ H. L. Mencken

An idealist is one who, on noticing that roses smell better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Presenting the president of Indiana University, Dr. Pamela Whitten . . . ]

To begin with, sponges are not plants. They are multi-celled animals, although they have no mouths, internal organs, brains or nervous systems. They cannot move, but they can reproduce, eat, grow and obtain Florida driver’s licenses. ~ Dave Barry

[This is Ann Schertz, a professional photographer who for as long as we have been attending been contracted to cover Mini U. We have been known to simultaneously take photos of each other just for fun . . . ]

I never think of the future – it comes soon enough. ~ Albert Einstein

[My first class was with Carl Weinberg, who also educated me at last year’s Mini U . . . ]

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

[The conspiracy theories regarding evolution: 1) Teaching evolution is harmful (you act in animalistic ways) . . . ]

Never, never and never again shall it be that this beautiful land will again experience the oppression of one by another. ~ Nelson Mandela

[2) Marx, Engels, Lenin, and Trotsky were all big fans of Darwin . . . ]

Your guess is as good as mine. Better, probably, because you haven’t had four beers. ~ Dave Barry

[3) Hitler was backed by many who hated Jews . . . ]

A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

[Class No. 2, human-computer interaction tracking what your body is doing all the time, i.e., the datafication of health . . . ]

Like slavery and apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. ~ Nelson Mandela

[For Blacks in a mental health crisis, 911 calls can be a death sentence . . . ]

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. ~ Mark Twain

[Class No. 3 – the Kinsey Institute (at IU) is number one in sex and gender research . . . ]

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Discussion of how through the years women fought for and obtained certain legal equalities with men . . . ]

Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Professor Sellers was a practicing lawyer, but always wanted to be a teacher. So, eight years ago she became one – and a good one . . . ]

Early in the morning of October 8, 1991, Mrs. Florence A. Snegg of Uvula, Michigan, was having an extremely vivid dream in which her son, Russell, was involved in a terrible automobile accident. Suddenly she was awakened by the ringing of her telephone. On the line was a Missouri state trooper, calling long distance to remind Mrs. Snegg that she had never had children. ~ Dave Barry

[I chimed in with an inquiry as to what happened to the physical abilities of women between 1860 and 1960 – how in 1860 women could walk across the country with wagon trains with a child on each hip and operate the family farms when the men went to fight in the Civil War, and yet by 1960 had become so fragile they could not cross midcourt in a basketball game?]

The Hawaiian language is quite unusual because when the original Polynesians came in their canoes, most of their consonants were washed overboard in a storm, and they arrived here with almost nothing but vowels. ~ Dave Barry

[Lunch music . . . ]

The U.S. space probe Meanderer J I, after a journey of six years and many millions of miles, passes within 400 miles of the surface of Neptune, sending back dramatic color photographs of a Delta Air Lines jet. ~ Dave Barry

Should explain that a “sommelier” is a wine steward, the dignified person who comes up to you at expensive restaurants, hands you the wine list, and says “Excellent choice, sir,” when you point to French writing that, translated, says “Sales Tax Included.” ~ Dave Barry

[Got her . . . ]

Of course most of us find it difficult to talk about insects without bringing up the subject of sex. ~ Dave Barry

[Lunch . . . ]

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier. ~ H. L. Mencken

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies. ~ Groucho Marx

[With our long time friends from Fort Wayne, who are locally famous for actually knowing what a Hoosier is . . . ]

I realize I am generalizing here, but, as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care. ~ Dave Barry

[The Supervisor was among the elite few to attend the class on this organ . . . ]

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. ~ Pablo Picasso

[It is a small world after all – we met Winston on a Viking Ocean cruise in 2018 . . . ]

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Blues is easy to play, but hard to feel. ~ Jimi Hendrix

[Photo taken on the request of a fellow student taken by the curved glass display case . . . ]

June 13

It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge. ~ Albert Einstein

[Class No. 4 – I also had these guys last year, excellent lecturers . . . ]

Whoever would overthrow the liberty of a nation must begin by subduing the freeness of speech. ~ Benjamin Franklin

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Their conclusion is that we cannot reach enough energy production totally from green renewable sources without going through at least a transition period of nuclear power . . . ]

Of course your bleeding-heart-liberal-secular-humanist left-wing communists will tell you that it’s a bad thing to own a gun, but as any knowledgeable gun nut will tell you, there are countless factual anecdotes concerning alert gun-toting homeowners who have thwarted the forces of evil. ~ Dave Barry

The discovery of “superconductors”—materials that offer no resistance to electricity even at relatively high temperatures—creates a worldwide stir of excitement among the kind of dweebs who always had their Science Fair projects done early. ~ Dave Barry

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety. ~ H. L. Mencken

Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized. ~ Albert Einstein

[Lunch in the ever popular Tudor Room with “The Biddies.” Although it was not what one would consider fine dining, it was certainly fine ambience . . . ]

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor. ~ H. L. Mencken

If the groom-to-be’s views were actually considered, the wedding would be a far more relaxed affair, possibly involving go-carts. ~ Dave Barry

[Dine with the ones who brung ya . . . ]

I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. ~ Thomas A. Edison

[Class No. 5 – we only eat 15-20 different foods per week . . . ]

Racism isn’t born, folks, it’s taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list. ~ Denis Leary

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps. ~ Confucius

For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Class No. 6 – Professor Miller was as animated as her subject matter . . . ]

Oscar C. Klaxton, an employee of the U.S. Department for Making Everybody Nervous, wins a $10,000 prize for dreaming up the concept of a deadly “hole” in an invisible “ozone layer.” ~ Dave Barry

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly. ~ H. L. Mencken

[Words for the Fat Boys Walking Club to live by . . . ]

Now, if Richard Nixon had claimed something like that you would at least have had the comfort of knowing he was lying. You could trust Nixon that way. ~ Dave Barry

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. ~ Mark Twain

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle

Call me a proud American, if you want, but I truly believe that no other nation on Earth possesses the capabilities to put on a more powerful display of underwater mermaid patriotism. ~ Dave Barry

[We came here the first time, maybe 30 years ago. With Basketball Dan to a basketball tournament in Indianapolis. This burger joint is just off the IU campus in Bloomington. Dan had heard of it so we had to eat there. It was unfortunately closed when we were there this time . . . ]

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~ Lewis Grizzard

[“The Biddies” putting the “I” in “IU” . . . ]

Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted. ~ John Lennon

What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do. ~ Bob Dylan

[Class No. 7 – our 4th college class of the day, we gave our teacher (a retired IU professor) a standing ovation for his 2-hour presentation on Bob Dylan . . . ]

Folk music is a bunch of fat people. ~ Bob Dylan

You’re going to die. You’re going to be dead. It could be 20 years, it could be tomorrow, anytime. So am I. I mean, we’re just going to be gone. The world’s going to go on without us. All right now. You do your job in the face of that, and how seriously you take yourself you decide for yourself. ~ Bob Dylan

People seldom do what they believe in. They do what is convenient, then repent. ~ Bob Dylan

All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die. ~ Bob Dylan

Inspiration is hard to come by. You have to take it where you find it. ~ Bob Dylan

I’m inconsistent, even to myself. ~ Bob Dylan

[That’s the prof’s son sitting in the far corner . . . ]

If I wasn’t Bob Dylan, I’d probably think that Bob Dylan has a lot of answers myself. ~ Bob Dylan

Some people seem to fade away but then when they are truly gone, it’s like they didn’t fade away at all. ~ Bob Dylan

[Gorgeous was famous for, and appreciated by, Dylan, Muhammad Ali, and (I think) the Rolling Stones, among others, for inspiring them early in their careers . . . ]

Take care of all your memories. For you cannot relive them. ~ Bob Dylan

I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom. ~ Bob Dylan

There is nothing so stable as change. ~ Bob Dylan

[At the end of his 2-hour presentation, the assembled masses sprung (well, struggled) to their feet for a standing ovation . . .

No one is free, even the birds are chained to the sky. ~ Bob Dylan

[We have two nephews who live in Indiana and had Prof. Gass back when they were at IU. They both have fond memories of him . . . ]

A poem is a naked person… Some people say that I am a poet. ~ Bob Dylan

I think women rule the world and that no man has ever done anything that a woman either hasn’t allowed him to do or encouraged him to do. ~ Bob Dylan

[Back “home” at the Biddle after the Dylan class . . . ]

This land is your land and this land is my land, sure, but the world is run by those that never listen to music anyway. ~ Bob Dylan

[I found a coed . . . ]

If you’re not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. ~ Malcolm X

Let’s not burn the universities yet. After all, the damage they do might be worse. ~ H. L. Mencken

Up Next: More about life at college . . .

June 22

Knowledge is good. ~ Emil Faber

Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children, and not for the education of all adults of every age? ~ Erich Fromm

This was our occasionally annual visit to Indiana University for yet another week of postsecondary education, this time at Mini University. We spent the school year in Alex attending community education movies alternating bimonthly between documentaries and foreign films, and also attended Senior College for the fall, winter, and spring semesters for two classes each week. Nevertheless, I’m still at a loss to explain racism or America’s gun fetish, each of which are far more difficult to explain than dark matter or string theory. So, the search continues. There were many firsts on our first flight in decades. We were advised to arrive at MSP 2 1/2 hours early. We shuttled from Alex to St. Cloud and arrived at 11:00 for a 1:00 flight. Not one customer in line when we got there. The agent was training a new employee – his son. We flew through and were at our gate by 11:10. Our seats were on the bulkhead, right behind the pilots (Sun Country has no 1st class – it’s totally classless) so for my first time ever, we were the first people off the airplane. But we arrived at the farthest gate from baggage claim in the Indianapolis airport – after a 2 1/2 hour walk we had our bags and were picked up by Ruthie’s sister Rita. The adventure continues . . . ~ Me

The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can’t just say it’s pictures of people naked. . . . But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled “The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked,” some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked. ~ Dave Barry

June 9

Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man’s lifetime income—which he then spends sending his son to college. ~ Bill Vaughn

[This was somewhere on the ride with Rita from the Indianapolis airport to her home in Nashville, Indiana (60 miles). Rob Hill is Ruthie’s son. We had no idea . . . ]

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. ~ Winston Churchill

[Ruthie’s sister Rita’s classic log home in Nashville (population 1,266), located 18 miles east of Bloomington and the Indiana University campus . . . ]

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. ~ Daniel J. Boorstin

[“The Biddies” outside Rita’s house, which was built in the 1930’s, as I recall, with logs retrieved from a building that was obviously much older . . . ]

Headbangers are people who like heavy-metal music, which is performed by skinny men with huge hair who stomp around the stage, striking their instruments and shrieking angrily, apparently because somebody has stolen all their shirts. ~ Dave Barry

[Dinner the first night in Nashville at the Sycamore Saloon . . . ]

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television’s message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath. ~ Dave Barry

[A current area hot spot with such amenities as live music and outdoor dining . . . ]

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals like Hydrogen and Oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ~ Dave Barry

[Inside, early enough to beat the evening rush hour . . . ]

The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy accent, which a lot of kids said made him hard to understand, although to be fair some of these kids would have never understood algebra anyway. ~ Dave Barry

[Rita’s son Dave joined us and was familiar with the musicians playing that evening. We finished dining before the music started . . . ]

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ~ Dave Barry

[Son and mom. Dave works at Cummins, Inc. in Columbus, Indiana, which is 18 miles east of Nashville – meaning Nashville is the exact halfway point between Bloomington (population 80,000) and Columbus (population 50,000) . . . ]

There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat. ~ Dave Barry

[Pollock was the evening’s special – it was quite tasty . . . ]

June 10

Our chief marketable skill, coming out of college, is the ability to write authoritatively about things we don’t necessarily understand. ~ Dave Barry

[Different angles of view for Rita’s house . . . ]

Which, as any American high school student can tell you, was an act that apparently had something to do with stamps. ~ Dave Barry

Regular adult Americans are no more capable of doing math than they are of photosynthesis. ~ Dave Barry

Remember that being offended is not the same thing as being right. ~ Dave Barry

[Next we walked into downtown Nashville, the subject of many of the following photos . . . ]

Some years ago I proposed a new tourism-promotion slogan for Miami. I even had a bumper sticker made. It said: ‘Come back to Miami! We Weren’t Shooting at YOU’. ~ Dave Barry

[Nashville is a very artsy community. And when you’re there shopping, you don’t have to worry about the above Miami motto . . . ]

Oh, I’m not saying that alcohol is perfect. It has caused its share of problems. Russia is only one example. ~ Dave Barry

Did you hear about the toilet being stolen from the police station? The cops have nothing to go on. ~ Dave Barry

Magnetism is one of the Six Fundamental Forces of the Universe, with the other five being Gravity, Duct Tape, Whining, Remote Control, and The Force That Pulls Dogs Toward The Groins Of Strangers. ~ Dave Barry

[“The Biddies” can, and literally do, spend several hours in a place like this . . . ]

Eating in Germany is easy, because there is basically only one kind of food, called the “wurst.” ~ Dave Barry

[“The Biddies” prepare to cross the street at the main Nashville intersection for breakfast at the Hob Nob Restaurant, famed in song and story . . . ]

The method (of learning Japanese) recommended by experts is to be born as a Japanese baby and raised by a Japanese family, in Japan. And even then it’s not easy. ~ Dave Barry

[“The Biddies” noticed I had a bruise or something by my right eye. Stuff happens . . . ]

By the 1800s, animal sacrifice had been largely discredited as a medical procedure; today it is rarely used outside of Miami. ~ Dave Barry

[Breakfast at the Hob Nob. We were lucky to get a table . . . ]

The reason is that you eat too many foods that are high in “calories,” which are little units that measure how good a particular food tastes. Fudge, for example, has a great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all but a member of the plywood family, provided by Mother Nature so that mankind would have a way to get onion dip into his mouth at parties, has none. ~ Dave Barry

She had large, wide-set green eyes, and long brown hair that curled slightly and turned to gold at the tips. She wore a long, straight blue dress that accentuated the slimness of her frame. She was perhaps an inch taller than Peter, and by the look of her she took baths. ~ Dave Barry

[I waited and waited for “The Biddies” to come out. Apparently there were major delays at the ladies room . . . ]

Or they laughed at Indiana, because the people there proudly call themselves Hoosiers even though they have no idea what Hoosier means. Some historians believe it comes from the Shawnee expression “ho’o-sa’ars,” or “people who cannot explain their nickname. ~ Dave Barry

Simply by eliminating description, the screenwriter can work his way through the entire plot in a single morning, leaving the afternoon free for screenwriter leisure activities such as drugs. ~ Dave Barry

Sometimes I think the main purpose of professional sports is to give guys something to talk about that does not involve them personally. ~ Dave Barry

Under Florida’s “stand your ground” law, it is legal to shoot anybody for any reason as long as you are standing on the ground. ~ Dave Barry

[The wait lines at the Hob Nob have grown outside the building . . . ]

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~ Dave Barry

So for some reason everybody makes this huge deal about pandas. I don’t know why. They never actually do anything except eat and poop. But they’re really famous. ~ Dave Barry

[Words fail me . . . ]

Every single human cell contains “DNA,” which is a special molecule that your body leaves behind at crime scenes so the police can identify you. ~ Dave Barry

[Nashville is so classy it turned its old library into an exquisite public restroom . . . ]

Fort Lauderdale is sometimes called The Venice of America by people who clearly have never been to Venice. ~ Dave Barry

In my experience, any trend that reaches the point where large organizations are inflicting it on their personnel has a high statistical probability of being stupid. ~ Dave Barry

Our original idea was to write a book titled Fifty Shades of the Hunger Games, by J.K. Rowling with Stephen King: A John Grisham Novel. ~ Dave Barry

Of course most of us find it difficult to talk about insects without bringing up the subject of sex. ~ Dave Barry

No reason to join a fight until you know what side you’re on. ~ Dave Barry

Boy is this journey ever long. Also arduous. ~ Dave Barry

I love Special Executive Order 768 dash 4. ~ Dave Barry

If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you’ll notice two things about them: 1. They all had editors. 2. They are all dead. Thus we can draw the scientific conclusion that editors are fatal. ~ Dave Barry

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than building a nuclear reactor from wristwatch parts in a darkened room using only your teeth. ~ Dave Barry

You can put suspenders on a salamander, but it still won’t make waffles. See what I mean? That sentence makes absolutely no sense, but I got paid to write it. It’s printed right here in a published book! ~ Dave Barry

Up Next: You may have noticed Mini-U cut in line. I still have many stories in the archives. They will have to wait while Mini U plays itself out . . .

June 2

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.’ ~ Dave Barry

Spring venues have pretty much expired. As the weather warms and daylight lingers, reporting turns mainly to outdoor eating and music. Let the new season begin . . . ~ Me

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. ~ Dave Barry

May 7

It’s All Anthony . . .

We’ll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. ~ Dave Barry

[An afternoon with Anthony Miltich at Carlos Creek Winery . . . ]

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. ~ Dave Barry

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. ~ Dave Barry

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ~ Dave Barry

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. ~ Dave Barry

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. ~ Dave Barry

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ~ Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate. ~ Dave Barry

‘Escargot’ is French for ‘fat crawling bag of phlegm’. ~ Dave Barry

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. ~ Dave Barry

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire. ~ Dave Barry

The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. ~ Dave Barry

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid. ~ Dave Barry

May 8

The Class of ’65 Goes to Lunch . . .

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there are men on base. ~ Dave Barry

[The Class of ’65 got together for lunch for the first time since 1936, as a result of things COVID and excess wintery. 17 of our brethren and sistren showed up at Boulder Tap House for food and discussion. Some people came from as far away as Alexandria. Several seemed to be amazed that you could both graduate from high school and still be alive at age 75. There were, however, significant lapses in the retention of teacher names. We pledged to do better next time . . . ]

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry.  ~ Dave Barry

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.  ~ Dave Barry

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. ~ Dave Barry

There is a breed of fashion models who weigh no more than an abridged dictionary. ~ Dave Barry

[p.s. Ruthie snuck in as a spouse – I’m not sure if that’s legal?]

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. ~ Dave Barry

Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent?  ~ Dave Barry

It’s Me, Margaret . . .

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective. ~ Dave Barry

[The best movie reviews I had seen in a long time. Thus, it was a must see movie. The reviews were correct . . . ]

You should not confuse your career with your life. ~ Dave Barry

[OK, the movie held our attention better than the expressions here . . . ]

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~ Dave Barry

[The day ended with a pie invite from friends – first pizza, then ala mode for dessert . . . ]

May 10

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. ~ Dave Barry

[Wednesday night fine dining at the golf club. The turkey commercial allegedly had fewer calories than a week’s worth of sales at DQ . . . ]

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish that doesn’t have eyeballs or fins. ~ Dave Barry

[OK, we took them home and made three more meals out of them . . . ]

May 13

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. ~ Dave Barry

[“Now why do cops Love donut shops Donuts tend to make them big and strong and tough-n” ~ Jack Ellison]

May 14

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida. ~ Dave Barry

[Jami dropped by for a visit from “up north” . . . ]

May 16

I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. ~ Dave Barry

[It’s the summer of roundabout construction in the Alexandria metropolitan area . . . ]

He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl. ~ Dave Barry

[The grass is green, the trees are greening, but the shoreline reed and cattail beds are still a work in progress . . . ]

Tuesday Nightclub

A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. ~ Dave Barry

[With Tuesday Nightclub at the Garden Bar on 6th – I enjoyed the salmon . . . ]

Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can’t see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessarily fixing anything. ~ Dave Barry

[Emeritus musicians Jim, Terry, Bill, and Al . . . ]

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~ Dave Barry

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate. ~ Dave Barry

[The one thing I know for sure is that this does not fall within the scope of my “sticks and twigs” diet . . . ]

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal in the world, with a speed of 120 mph, is a cow dropped out of a helicopter. ~ Dave Barry

Guys care about sports teams. I’m not talking about simply rooting; I’m talking about a relationship that guys develop, a commitment to a sport team that guys take way more seriously than, for example, wedding vows. ~ Dave Barry

He felt a momentary pang of regret that he had not spent more time with his beloved wife. But it passed when he remembered that the reason he’d gone to sea in the first place was that he had never really liked his beloved wife. ~ Dave Barry

“In our language,” he said, “Alf means squid poop.” ~ Dave Barry

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. ~ Dave Barry

May 17

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. ~ Dave Barry

[The Alberta wildfires as seen from Alexandria . . . ]

A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge. ~ Dave Barry

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it. ~ Dave Barry

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. ~ Dave Barry

I realize that I’m generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize, I don’t care. ~ Dave Barry

[The Resorters on my birth year . . . ]

Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world. ~ Dave Barry

May 18

The Babies

Spiders so large they appear to be wearing the pelts of small mammals. ~ Dave Barry

[The babies in the guest bedroom waiting for Mom to come home . . . ]

I had no shoes and I pitied myself. Then I met a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes. ~ Dave Barry

May 19

The Boys of ’65 Have a Nosh . . .

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. ~ Dave Barry

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.  ~ Dave Barry

[The Boys of ’65 had a rare Friday get-together yesterday. Mayo and I hadn’t seen Bradley for quite a while as he has been on the medical reserve list for some time. Although he appeared to be in fine fettle, he still wasn’t ready yet to be extradited from his apartment. So, I gathered some individual pizzas from Zorbaz and we ate in. As usual we spent most of the afternoon discussing the bathroom habits of elderly people, and what pharmaceuticals are best for what symptoms. We are hopeful Bradley will be available for a road trip next month. You will note that his dining room has the appearance of the flight deck of the starship Enterprise – maybe for our next engagement, we can “beam” ourselves to Paris for lunch . . . ]

Don’t you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don’t even have to be true! ~ Dave Barry

If, when you talk to people, they keep backing away from you, it’s because you’re TOO CLOSE, alright? SO DON’T KEEP ADVANCING ON THEM LIKE A HUMAN GLACIER. ~ Dave Barry

He could even think about how fast he was thinking about things. ~ Dave Barry

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. ~ Dave Barry

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. ~ Dave Barry

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. ~ Dave Barry

The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning “ability to,” and bics, meaning “withstand tremendous boredom. ~ Dave Barry

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. ~ Dave Barry

All of us are born with a set of instinctive fears – of falling, of the dark, of lobsters, of falling on lobsters in the dark, of speaking before a Rotary Club, and of the words “Some Assembly Required”. ~ Dave Barry

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture finished and put inside boxes. ~ Dave Barry

In the words of a very famous dead person, ‘A nation that does not know its history is doomed to do poorly on the Scholastic Aptitude Test. ~ Dave Barry

We constantly see surveys that reveal this ignorance, especially among our high school students,78 percent of whom, in a recent nationwide multiple-choice test, identified Abraham Lincoln as ‘a kind of lobster.’ That’s right: more than three quarters of our nation’s youth could not correctly identify the man who invented the telephone. ~ Dave Barry

[For the first Mayo (top row, 3rd from the left) reported that he was in the same basic training unit as Darrell Maloney, Alex class of ’64 . . . ]

The big problem with pornography is defining it. You can’t just say it’s pictures of people naked. For example, you have these primitive African tribes that exist by chasing the wildebeest on foot, and they have to go around largely naked, because, as the old tribal saying goes: “N’wam k’honi soit qui mali,” which means, “If you think you can catch a wildebeest in this climate and wear clothes at the same time, then I have some beach front property in the desert region of Northern Mali that you may be interested in. ~ Dave Barry

So it’s not considered pornographic when National Geographic publishes color photographs of these people hunting the wildebeest naked, or pounding one rock onto another rock for some primitive reason naked, or whatever. But if National Geographic were to publish an article entitled “The Girls of the California Junior College System Hunt the Wildebeest Naked,” some people would call it pornography. But others would not. And still others, such as the Spectacularly Rev. Jerry Falwell, would get upset about seeing the wildebeest naked. ~ Dave Barry

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. ~ Dave Barry

[Since we’re back in basic training again, I can report that Fort Bragg (where I did basic in August 1969) is now named Fort Liberty. Bragg was a confederate general, slave holder, and loser of many battles. We did not have the yearbook photo sessions that Mayo had in Ft. Campbell . . . ]

May 20

The Saturday Morning Doughnut Run . . .

It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. ~ Dave Barry

[A double caramel roll gift from Mayo on his visit yesterday almost superseded the Saturday morning doughnut run. Nevertheless, the doughnuts persisted. So, we doubled our pleasure, doubled our fun . . .

I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a moral person, but I’m definitely not religious, and I’m very tired of the preachiness and obsession with other people’s behavior characteristic of many religious people in the United States. As far as I could tell, there’s nothing preachy about Buddhism. I was in a lot of temples, and I still don’t know what Buddhists believe, except that at one point Kunio said ‘If you do bad things, you will be reborn as an ox.’ This makes as much sense to me as anything I ever heard from, for example, the Reverend Pat Robertson. ~ Dave Barry

Panicky despair is an underrated element of writing. ~ Dave Barry

Up Next: Getting closer to being all caught up . . .

May 30

Civilization is drugs, alcohol, engines of war, prostitution, machines and machine slaves, low wages, bad food, bad taste, prisons, reformatories, lunatic asylums, divorce, perversion, brutal sports, suicides, infanticide, cinema, quackery, demagogy, strikes, lockouts, revolutions, putsches, colonization, electric chairs, guillotines, sabotage, floods, famine, disease, gangsters, money barons, horse racing, fashion shows, poodle dogs, chow dogs, Siamese cats, condoms, peccaries, syphilis, gonorrhea, insanity, neuroses, etc., etc. ~ Henry Miller

This was the annual spring fundraiser for Theatre L’Homme Dieu (TLHD). It always coincides with the Kentucky Derby (I am not a horseracing fan – nor am I a fan of auto racing. I do, however, reach a level of excitement over turtle racing.) After six years of being a TLHD board member, I was, unlike members of SCOTUS, term limited. It may be because of that that I totally forgot to process these photos until a month after the event. Uff da! But the event was fun, as usual, and we look forward to another summer of great entertainment at the theatre. In other news, I have now completed my 36 sessions of cardiac rehab and plan on hitting the trail with the Fat Boys Walking Club asap . . . ~ Me

There is only one thing we do know and that is that we do not know anything. ~ Gertrude Atherton

May 6

Once they witnessed one of his painting sold at auction for $100,000. And asked how you do it, he said, ‘I feel as a horse must feel when the beautiful cup is given to the jockey.’ ~ Edgar Degas

[The Grand Hall at Carlos Creek Winery was once again the venue . . . ]

The reason I wanted to become an organ player was because I heard Ray Charles play on Quincy Jones’ arrangement of “One Mint Julep.”  ~ Booker T. Jones

[The Salty Dogs provided the entertainment . . . ]

If you’d asked me at 30 where I’d be during the Masters when I was 46, I’d have pictured myself on a boat fishing, smoking a cigar, drinking a mint julep and watching it on television. ~ Jack Nicklaus

[The bar, necessary for such occasions . . . ]

I am not one of the people who believe that the main reason why a chap becomes a bookmaker is because he is too scared to steal and too heavy to become a jockey. ~ Noel Whitcomb

[The set up, including the big screen for the horse race . . . ]

I wanted to be a jockey. I’m serious. First time I got on a horse, I loved it. That’s what I wanted to be, but my dad asked me to start performing with my family. ~ Janet Jackson

I was too heavy to be a jockey and too honest to be a producer, so I became a writer. ~ Leon Uris

[Janet and Becky, in charge of the things that need being in charged of . . . ]

Actors are the jockeys of literature. Others supply the horses, the plays, and we simply make them run. ~ Ralph Richardson

That the mounds of ices, and the bowls of mint-julep and sherry cobbler they make in these latitudes, are refreshments never to be thought of afterwards, in summer, by those who would preserve contented minds. ~ Charles Dickens

[The usual suspects at our table . . . ]

I’m lucky because I have an athlete between my legs. ~ Willie Carson

[The Salty Dogs doing sound checks . . . ]

I have no intention of watching undersized Englishmen perched on horses with matchstick legs race along courses planned to amuse Nell Gwynn. ~ Gilbert Harding

[The “hat ladies” at the bar . . . ]

From the circumstances of my position, I was often thrown into the society of horse-racers, card-players, fox-hunters, scientific and professional men, and of dignified men; and many a time have I asked myself, in the enthusiastic moment of the death of a fox, the victory of a favorite horse, the issue of a question eloquently argued at the bar, or in the great council of the nation, well, which of these kinds of reputation should I prefer? That of a horse-jockey, a fox-hunter, an orator, or the honest advocate of my country’s rights? ~ Thomas Jefferson

[Table mates Dave and Karin in the chow line . . . ]

I’ve always thought I could use my brain and my heart to jockey everyone around to the good. But life is not jockeyable. When you try, you make people infinitely crazier than they already were, including or especially yourself. ~ Anne Lamott

[Our table, lucky number 12?]

The sport of horse racing which, at its best, showcases the majestic beauty of this animal and the athleticism of jockeys, has reached an alarming level of corruption and exploitation. ~ Tom Udall

[The raffle ticket line . . . ]

This is a really lovely horse, I once rode her mother. ~ Ted Walsh

[Up and running . . . ]

The best jockey in the world is never going to win races riding a lame horse. But even a mediocre jockey can win races riding a champion. ~ Warren Buffett

I love horses. I spent seven years as a racing commissioner on a horse-racing board. ~ Bo Derek

[Our neighbor table (we generally had no complaints about them) . . . ]

You know I have about the same interest in jewelry as I have in politics, horse racing, modern poetry, and women who need weird excitement – none. ~ Cary Grant

[Seen wandering the facility . . . ]

I like horse racing but I’m not an All-Star in horse racing. I’m an All-Star fan in horse racing. ~ Nikola Jokic

I follow the horses. And the horses I follow, follow horses. ~ Joe E. Lewis

[Folks settling in . . . ]

In a lot of people’s minds, a girl jockey is cute and delicate. With me, what you get is reckless and aggressive. ~ Julie Krone

[The photographer of those “seen wandering the facility” . . . ]

If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens. ~ Bert Sugar

A good jockey is one who settles his mount into a rhythm that even the most casual observer can notice. If a jockey is bouncing around on a horse like a pinball machine, then the horse has something to think about other than running. ~ C. N. Richardson

[Eat, drink, and be merry . . . ]

I wanted to be a jockey. ~ Davy Jones

[Another perspective on the Dogs . . . ]

If horse racing is the sport of kings then surely bowling is a very good sport as well! ~ Homer Simpson

[The Dogs, close up and personal . . . ]

I’ve had a passion for horses since I was very young – I used to sit on the floor in front of the races on television and pretend to be a jockey – and I first began reading the racing form on the set of ‘The Partridge Family.’ ~ David Cassidy

[Nicole, the executive director of TLHD, a/k/a, the person in charge . . . ]

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. ~ Will Rogers

[Nicole visits our table . . . ]

A Thoroughbred racehorse can go from 0 to 40 in a matter of three strides. It’s exhilarating the feeling of power underneath you is incredible. I love to learn what makes a Thoroughbred tick. ~ Chris McCarron

[TLHD board member Michael (later seen dancing) shooting the “hat ladies” . . . ]

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

[Serious dining taking place . . . ]

You don’t want to wait for that aged jockey role. ~ Billy Crystal

[ . . . across a crowded room . . . ]

Regrettably, there are more bad juleps than there are good ones. ~ Chuck Stinnett

[The bar, from afar . . . ]

I am too fat and tall to be a jockey. This is not self-deprecation – I realise that I am neither too fat nor too tall – but I am too fat and too tall to be a jockey. ~ Aisling Bea

[Nicole addresses the crowd . . . ]

When you are on a great horse, you have the best seat you will ever have. ~ Winston Churchill

I don’t know how anything could be bigger than the Kentucky Derby. If you hear of something, let me know… ~ J. Paul Reddam

[The perspective of the band stand from our table . . . ]

‘Open the whisky, Tom,’ she ordered, ‘and I’ll make you a mint julep. Then you won’t seem so stupid to yourself … Look at the mint!’ ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald 

[I had to pay a personal visit to the “hat ladies” . . . ]

‘Did you know say the true cause of the Civil War was some Northerner adding nutmeg to a mint julep?’ Lucy asked. ~ Mary Jane Hathaway

[I saw a man (Michael) who danced with his wife . . . ]

When you touch the dirt on the track you have the feeling, at that moment, that you are on the center stage of the universe. ~ Steve Cauthen

A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace. ~ Ovid

I tell you waiting for the Derby to start is the longest day of your life… It’s just a unique time of thrill and tension and worry. ~ Penny Chenery

When a jockey retires, he just becomes another little man. ~ Eddie Arcaro

Hopefully you can catch that lightning in a bottle again. 44,000 registered foals and only 16 or 18 of them make it to the Derby. ~ John Sosby

[People began moving into the “stands” for the race . . . ]

The only sport I’m not interested in is horse racing. That’s because I don’t know the horses personally. ~ Nat King Cole

[The view from beyond the “stands” . . . ]

A horse doesn’t know whether the rider on his back wears a dress or pants away from the track. ~ Diane Crump

[“Down in front” . . . ]

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ~ W. C. Fields

[Ready, set . . . ]

I think one of the most humiliating moments of my life was putting on spandex, personally. It’s always nice when four women pull you into spandex when you’re in jockey shorts. Yeah. ~ Michael Chiklis

[GO!!]

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business. ~ John Steinbeck

[“And the race is on” . . . ]

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. ~ Henny Youngman

[Ruthie got place and show in the raffle . . . ]

Protected by a no-fly zone, surrounded by protesters, Trump Tower is buzzing with intensity. The president-elect’s family, loyalist advisers and wannabes all jockeying for position. ~ George Stephanopoulos

[And a drawing for a prize . . . ]

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it. ~ Tim Conway

[The young lady drew her parents ticket!]

I had dinner in Washington way, way back. This goes back to the nineties. It was the Jockey Club which was the restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, and I can’t mention the names, but boy, would I love to. ~ Rush Limbaugh

Sometimes you buy the horse, sometimes you invest in the jockey. It really comes down to the actual business and the upside. ~ Mark Cuban

[And then we were done.]

Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can’t figure out. ~ Will Rogers

[Congratulations, Paulette! Say goodnight, Ralph!]

We should not feel so sorely grieved if no man who had not attained the full stature of a Webster, Clay, Van Buren, or Gerrit Smith could claim the right of the elective franchise. But to have drunkards, idiots, horse-racing, rum-selling rowdies, ignorant foreigners, and silly boys fully recognized, while we ourselves are thrust out from all the rights that belong to citizens, it is too grossly insulting to the dignity of woman to be longer quietly submitted to. ~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” I think you’re focusing on the wrong shit. ~ Wanda Sykes

Up Next: Going back to catching up again . . .

May 26

All we have to do is to wake up and change. ~ Greta Thunberg

I hope you’ve all been marvelling at the ongoing debates regarding the relative merits of living in Minnesota versus Florida. Apparently some are fleeing the Land of 10,000 Lakes for the sunshine state allegedly for lower tax and crime rates. While this is a discussion for another time and place, for the record, the facts actually are Minnesota has lower cost of living than Florida as well as lower crime rates. I would not mind as much if those moving to Florida would just cite their obvious reason – they prefer warm weather to cold. As a reminder, however, you can dress for cold weather; you cannot undress enough for hot weather. We are now, unfortunately, heading into the hot and muggies in the Gopher state – and I’m within a month of getting caught up in this blog . . . ~ Me

Fiction is where I go to tell the truth. ~ Pat Conroy

America has everything, why should they want us? ~ George Harrison

April 22

The ultimate test of man’s conscience may be his willingness to sacrifice something today for future generations whose words of thanks will not be heard. ~ Gaylord Nelson

We haven’t yet learnt to take care of Earth, yet we are now headed for Mars as colonizer. With the money it’ll take to get to Mars, we can literally end world hunger. ~ Abhijit Naskar

Earth has plenty resources to suffice our need, but no planet has enough resources to suffice our greed. ~ Abhijit Naskar

[Van Gooch discusses his EV car with John Huseth . . . ]

Earth was such a little, vulnerable thing in the grand scope of the universe. ~ Laura Lam

There is only one way to keep ourselves alive and that is to keep the earth alive! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan

[The guardians at the door: Ken and Jeanne Howell . . . ]

What you do matters. Like a stone tossed into a lake, your actions have ripples that carry far and wide. ~ Jeffrey Blander

You are an indispensable and irreplaceable asset to the human family. ~ Ilchi Lee

It is a privilege to exist, it is a privilege to live and all this made possible by our Earth, our beautiful warm home in this cold universe! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan

When we look at the space at night, the deep emptiness and the frightening darkness in the universe motivate us to love our Earth even more! ~ Mehmet Murat ildan

The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it. ~ Robert Swan

If every day were Earth Day we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in. ~ Neil deGrasse Tyson

[Our neighbor . . . ]

I only feel angry when I see waste. When I see people throwing away things we could use. ~ Mother Teresa

We are the first generation to feel the impact of climate change and the last generation that can do something about it. ~ Barack Obama

You are not Atlas carrying the world on your shoulder. It is good to remember that the planet is carrying you. ~ Vandana Shiva

Land really is the best art. ~ Andy Warhol

The Earth is what we all have in common. ~ Wendell Berry

Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. ~ Albert Einstein

To leave the world better than you found it, sometimes you have to pick up other people’s trash. ~ Bill Nye

It looks big, Earth. But there are lots of us on here (7,523,458,567 and counting) so be kind. ~ Oliver Jeffers

The wanting was a wilderness and I had to find my own way out of the woods. ~ Cheryl Strayed

What about naming trees?…if we have a tree in our name, we want that tree to live. ~ Jane Goodall

Every day is Earth Day, and I vote we start investing in a secure climate future right now. ~ Jackie Speier

The miracle is not to fly in the air or to walk on water, but to walk on the earth. ~ Chinese proverb

No one comes from the earth like grass. We come like trees. We all have roots. ~ Maya Angelou

Preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we’ve ever known. ~ Carl Sagan

You can never see a plant grow, but they do. ~ Carol Plum-Ucci

We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us. ~ Albert Einstein

For in the true nature of things, if we rightly consider, every green tree is far more glorious than if it were made of gold and silver. ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

[Keepers of the flame: Gene Rose and Steve Henry . . . ]

You don’t live on earth, you are passing through. ~ Rumi

The most environmentally friendly product is the one you didn’t buy. ~ Joshua Becker

[The proposed Alexandria Nature Trail . . . ]

It is a blessing to be the color of the earth; do you know how often flowers confuse me for home? ~ rupi kaur

If the environment is happy, people will laugh and your grief will go away. ~ Srinivas Mishra

Nature is an infinite sphere of which the centre is everywhere and the circumference nowhere. ~ Blaise Pascal

[Fearless leader Jon Koll . . . ]

If you can’t be in awe of Nature, there’s something wrong with you. ~ Alex Trebek

An understanding of the natural world and what’s in it is a source of not only a great curiosity but great fulfillment. ~ David Attenborough

And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and my soul. ~ John Muir

[The aforementioned Van Gooch talking the science of climate change . . . ]

The sun does not forget a village just because it is small. ~ African Proverb

Nature does not hurry yet everything is accomplished. ~ Lao Tzu

Look after the land and the land will look after you, destroy the land and it will destroy you. ~ Aboriginal Proverb

The world is mud-luscious and puddle-wonderful. ~ E. E. Cummings

Let us permit nature to have her way. She understands her business better than we do. ~ Michel de Montaigne

[Bryan Van Gorp discussed the necessity of reducing our carbon footprints . . . ]

The greatest threat to our planet is the belief that someone else will save it. ~ Robert Swan

I really thought love would save us all. ~ John Lennon

[And then it was on to the winery for an afternoon with Jeff James . . . ]

We’re just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians, that’s all. ~ Paul McCartney

When I feel my head start to swell, I look at Ringo and know perfectly well we’re not supermen. ~ John Lennon

We just get together and whoever knows most of the words sings the lead. ~ John Lennon

We don’t set examples. We smoke because we’ve always smoked. ~ George Harrison

[Ruthie and Karin rush up to put bread in the jar during “Piano Man” . . . ]

We’re more popular than Jesus now. ~ John Lennon

If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or my music, then in that respect you can call me that…I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it. ~ John Lennon

When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps. ~ John Lennon

April 23

Spring is when you feel like whistling, even with a shoe full of slush. ~ Doug Larson

April 24

Despite the forecast, live like it’s Spring. ~ Lilly Pulitzer

[For those keeping track at home, yesterday was ice out on Lake H2Obert . . . ]

In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. ~ Mark Twain

In those days, though, the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed. ~ Ernest Hemingway

I’ve never been to a class reunion or anything because I’m always afraid of that one – there’s going to be some ‘Carrie’- like incident.” ~ Paul Feig

[The Boys of ’65 had had only one lunch together in the last 6 months. A combination of COVID, a long and icy winter, and personal health issues (for all of us) were at fault. Bradley was still indisposed this week, but Mayo and I decided to give it a shot anyway. Do not ask about his beverage. I don’t recall its name. And even after it arrived, we googled the ingredients and still couldn’t figure it out. He wasn’t even sure if it contained alcohol, but if it did we presumed it would be Tequila. He liked it. We visited for the usual 2 & a half hours, during which I learned he had traced his family tree back to 300 B.C., and then we went home for late afternoon naps . . . ]

Thank you Facebook for making a class reunion entirely unnecessary. ~ Anonymous

What’s the point of a high school reunion? I have Facebook. I already know you got fat. ~ Anonymous

If you went back to your reunion from school, you would probably find that if you ranked everyone in your class into terms of levels of introversion and extroversion, you’d still be the same rank. ~ Susan Cain

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated. ~ Erma Bombeck

April 25

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. ~ Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

[Senior College of West Central Minnesota: “10,000 Lakes and More: Minnesota’s Aquatic Ecosystems” ~ Miriam Gieske, University of Minnesota]

The longer I live, the more beautiful life becomes. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

[“Minnesota has over 14,000 lakes and innumerable wetlands . . . “]

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all things that make you want to live to be a hundred. ~ Woody Allen

[“Come learn about the force that created these bodies of water, the plants and animals that call them home today – the threats they face, and what we can do to preserve them into the future . . . “]

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. ~ David Bowie

It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone. ~ Andy Rooney

[After Senior College, we went to D. Michael B’s for dinner – as we have been doing for years. Lest you didn’t know, D. Michael B’s is a 37-year old iconic restaurant in Alexandria that is closing soon to make way for a mall makeover. And since yesterday was a beautiful sunshiny day (though temps in the 40’s, with wind), all of Alexandria went “out” for dinner. The wait at D. Michael B’s was an hour and a half; the wait the neighboring Pike & Pint was 45 minutes; we ultimately ended up at Willy T’s where a good time was had by all . . . ]

April 26

Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’ ~ Cher

[The last meeting of the Wednesday night fine dining group at Lure Lakebar for the season. We will move on to the Alexandria Golf Club until the cold winds blow again . . . ]

Today is the oldest you’ve ever been, and the youngest you’ll ever be again. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

We don’t grow older, we grow riper. ~ Pablo Picasso

April 29

There are always going to be bad things. But you can write it down and make a song out of it. ~ Billie Eilish

[Robb Justice at the winery . . . ]

A goal is just a dream with a deadline. ~ Drake

May 3

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&M’s and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. ~ Dave Barry

[Ruthie abandoned me and the babies for 6 days. She redeemed herself on return with a loaf of peasant bread from Cossetta’s in St. Paul . . . ]

Never order barbecue in a place that also serves quiche. ~ Lewis Grizzard

[This is the first of the aforementioned Wednesday fine dining nights at the golf club . . . ]

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o’clock in the morning. ~ John Barrymore

Vegetarians are cowards. They just kill things that can’t move. ~ Anonymous

[A table is reserved for canes and walkers . . . ]

If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased. ~ Katharine Hepburn

Why should I care about posterity? What has it ever done for me? ~ Groucho Marx

Every life is a novel for those who are curious enough to look into it. ~ Anne Berest

Up Next: Same ole, same ole . . .

May 22

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. ~ Albert Einstein

As I type this, I only have two rehab sessions (out of 36) left to complete. We’re stretching out the ole lifestyle again – outdoor music at the winery in the afternoon and symphony concert that night on Saturday; and a mini-road trip on Sunday to Long Prairie (to see “The Pole”) and lunch at Rock Tavern on Birch Lake in Grey Eagle on Sunday. And I sacrificed my ability to avoid future Job Jar lists by hefting a 40-pound bag of salt into its water softener container this week – all my new interior connections appear to have held up under the strain . . . ~ Me

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. ~ Isaac Asimov

April 6

I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness. ~ Alicia Silverstone

[A beautiful clear ice frost on this day . . . ]

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. ~ Brooke Shields

Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for 90 seconds at a time. ~ Bill Murray

I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good. ~ Sarah Jessica Parker

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Detroit, the heart of the country… I grew up on 10 Mile, 2 miles better than 8 Mile. ~ Kristen Bell

[A reminder why icicles make perfect murder weapons . . . ]

April 7

The more our leaders must fear their own constituents, the more removed they will be from the people they serve. ~ Susan Caskie

[Unbelievably, in less than one week our front door bench escaped from its ice prison . . . ]

We need help. ~ Mike Lindell

April 8

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and disposable. ~ Cher

[This was the first doughnut run in the light of day since Daylight Savings Time started. Sunrise over Lake Agnes and a full moon over Kincaid Cemetery . . . ]

The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff. ~ Britney Spears

I don’t really think, I just walk. ~ Paris Hilton

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. ~ Groucho Marx

[Why not? It was a balmy 42 degrees.]

The whole aging thing is so boring. ~ Martha Stewart

April 9

I don’t know if this is too much…but I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm. ~ Lady Gaga

[We noticed this strange green substance in the yard today. We took a sample and sent it off to the Department of Agriculture for identification. A neighbor heard a rumor it may be something called . . . “grass”?]

April 12

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending. ~ Jack Whitehall

[I told our rehab overseers at the hospital yesterday that I’d burned so many calories in the session that I was going home for a doughnut . . . ]

April 13

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

[The aforementioned un-iced bench . . . ]

I’m an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled. ~ David Letterman

[Spring cleaning – or the babies thought we were going on a trip . . . ]

April 15

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting. ~ Mark Twain

[Galaxy Road, yet another music group from St. Cloud and environs, performing at Carlos Creek Winery. It was a group of first impression for us . . . ]

He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet. ~ Michelle Obama

[The Super ISO I have no idea . . . ]

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. ~ Tina Fey

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ~ George Burns

I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, ‘If you had it to do all over again, would you still have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Just not these four.’ ~ Sheila Lee

[The Super lining up her “Missing you at . . . ” photo . . . ]

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. ~ Doug Larson

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~ George Carlin

[Nice harmonizing a la the Everly Brothers . . . ]

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. ~ Kate Moss

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure. ~ Dan Quayle

When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal. ~ Richard Nixon

For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white… Just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. ~ Megyn Kelly

We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. ~ Dan Quayle

[It snowed – again . . . ]

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. ~ Ivana Trump

April 16

The secret to a happy marriage? Do whatever your wife tells you. ‘Yes, dear.’ And breathe. ~ Denzil Washington

[Result of aforementioned snow . . . ]

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. ~ Maya Angelou

April 18

Camp is the kind of comedy where they imitate me. ~ Mae West

[As students of senior college, we generally go out to dinner together after class. On this date, Tuesday Nightclub was performing at the Garden Bar on 6th. A perfect combination . . . ]

A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention. ~ Herbert Simon

One of the most significant shifts in American politics just took place and it barely got any notice. ~ Ryan Burge (religious affiliation dropped by 11 points between 2010 and 2020)

These days, we need to worry about the much more dangerous misinformed (vs. uninformed) voters who are often wrong, never uncertain. ~ Brian Klaas

I love to eat an apple after a meal, just to cleanse my teeth – they always look polished afterward. ~ Catherine Zeta Jones

[Kilroy wasn’t here . . . ]

I’m now convinced that I’m a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I’m like, ‘Well, that’s your spleen.’ ~ Olivia Wilde

[But I was . . . ]

Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly. ~ Betty White

[After first checking to see if any copyright lawyers were lurking around the place, I did my cover of the famous three-note bass on Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine” . . . ]

I like women, I don’t understand them, but I like them. ~ Sean Connery

[The aforementioned senior college students . . . ]

Instant gratification takes too long. ~ Carrie Fisher

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet. ~ Angelina Jolie

My father always said, ‘Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf.’ ~ Emilia Clarke

April 20

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? ~ Christina Aguilera

[The babies . . . ]

April 21

If you’re living in an area with a bad school, move to a place where there’s a better school. ~ Lamar Alexander

[Winter refuses to leave . . . ]

You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. ~ Yogi Berra

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious. ~ Alan Minter

And now the sequence of events, in no particular order. ~ Dan Rather

April 22

This book was written using 100% recycled words. ~ Terry Pratchett

[It was, of course, doughnut run day this morning. I started out from home not realizing it’s still mid-January here. The wind chill was unimaginable as snow snakes scuttled across the roads. Of major surprise was along the way it appeared Lake Winona was now ice free? A further surprise upon arriving at the bakery I learned Doug Hasz had already paid for my doughnuts. He was off to an early start to set up kettle corn operations in Clara City. If you’re in that neighborhood, drop by and give him the business . . . ]

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him. ~ Oscar Wilde

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? ~ Homer Simpson

Mmm… donuts. ~ Homer Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. ~ John Belushi

With a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible. ~ Jameela Jamil

Up Next: Still catching up . . . but getting closer . . .

May 5

I like to think I get better with age, but maybe absence makes the heart grow fonder. ~ Bonnie Raitt

There’s a three-month recovery period after triple bypass surgery. It’s now been a little over three months for me – and I feel fine. I don’t really feel any better than I did before surgery (but I had no symptoms beforehand), which may just be a function of age. I’ve been great on the exercise machines during the two-months of rehab so far, but distance walking endurance is a work in progress. And I used to pump out three blog posts a week, now it’s more like one every three weeks. Seems likely I’ll never run the Boston Marathon. ~ Me

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. ~ Ronald Reagan

March 17

The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. ~ Hubert Humphrey

[Here’s looking at you, kid!]

March 18

Look and think before opening the shutter. The heart and mind are the true lens of the camera. ~ Yousuf Karsh

[Ruthie and Quinie . . . ]

March 19

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort. ~ James Herriot

[Laddie awoke one morning with a limp. We thought we may have to bring him to the vet. We brought the carrier in the house for acclimatization. It worked for Quinie. Laddie got better on his own . . . ]

March 22

Either give me more wine or leave me alone. ~ Rumi, circa 1200’s

[A wine tasting at the Garden Bar on 6th hosted by Tania Kranzler . . . ]

Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

[The aforementioned Tania Kranzler . . . ]

Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. ~ Joan Collins

[The aforementioned Ruthie . . . ]

Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle. ~ Paulo Coelho

[The aforementioned Garden Bar on 6th . . . ]

Anyone who tries to make you believe that he knows all about wines is obviously a fake. ~ Leon Adams

[Ditto . . . ]

Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages. ~ Louis Pasteur

[The winery owner, the restaurant owner, and Tania . . . ]

A gourmet meal without a glass of wine just seems tragic to me somehow. ~ Kathy Mattea

Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy. ~ Alexander Fleming

[Tania’s folks in the back with assorted friends . . . ]

Drinking good wine with good food in good company is one of life’s most civilized pleasures. ~ Michael Broadbent

[Were released on their own recognizance for this event . . . ]

March 23

We’re all born naked, and the rest is drag. ~ RuPaul

Precisely one of the most gratifying results of intellectual evolution is the continuous opening up of new and greater prospects. ~ Nikola Tesla

[The parents and spouse of the aforementioned Nicole . . . ]

People like to put you into a box. I’m afraid I don’t sit in a box. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

[Sprinkled throughout assorted local fans of the theatre . . . ]

The regrets in the theatre have always been the shows that you know ought to have worked but for one reason or another haven’t. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

The one thing I have always felt about musical theatre is that it is, to an extraordinary degree, about construction. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

Two pieces of advice for young composers: Go away during technical rehearsals. And do not have a back operation. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

Well the least favourite question is the one that one’s asked particularly about in Japan is what’s the difference between theatre and cinema and I think, well, that’s about eighty bucks. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

You never know what will happen. There is a thing called zeitgeist. You have to hit it. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

Musical theatre history is littered with bad reviews for now classic pieces. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. ~ Joe DiMaggio

[Sidney and Nicole make sure the trains run on time at TLHD . . . ]

Go out there like every day is Opening Day. ~ Aaron Judge

I think a gentleman is someone who holds the comfort of other people above their own. ~ Anna Kendrick

You cannot help but notice that schools that take music seriously tend to be more academically successful. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

Poetry is the opening and closing of a door, leaving those who look through to guess about what is seen during the moment. ~ Carl Sandburg

‘The Phantom of the Opera’ is the biggest thing I’ve ever done, bigger even than ‘Cats’ which, in itself, I never thought we’d top. ~ Andrew Lloyd Webber

Leftovers

A lot of political music to me can be rather pedantic and corny, and when it’s done right – like Bruce Springsteen or Jackson Browne or great satire from Randy Newman, there’s nothing better. ~ Bonnie Raitt

[Photos by Alexandria’s volunteer, Janet Baker . . . ]

I finally learned to accept that I can’t make radio play blues any more than I could get Reagan out of the White House. ~ Bonnie Raitt

One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is to shut their eyes to facts. ~ C. S. Lewis

March 25

I have never made fun of religion. Religion is something I don’t even want to mess with, because I am really afraid of the clouds opening up and my being struck by lightning. ~ Alice Cooper

[And because the highlights of the winter months were always to Saturday morning doughnut runs . . . ]

Seen going and returning from the doughnut run: Alexandria’s famed and beloved Viking statue Big Ole, now 51 years old, has a long history including different looks and locations. [https://explorealex.com/big-ole-years]

March 26

There’s a terrific power to music.  You can run any of these pictures and they’d be dragging and boring, but the minute you put music behind them, they have life and vitality they don’t get any other way. ~ Walt Disney

Cartoonist Walt Disney has made the twentieth century’s only important contribution to music.  Disney has made use of music as language. ~ Jerome Kern

But credit for the memorable songs and scores must, of course, go to the brilliant composers and musicians who have been associated with me through the years. ~ Walt Disney

You’re dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway. ~ Walt Disney

[Brad Lambrecht with his pre-concert Maestro’s notes . . . ]

I would rather entertain and hope that people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained. ~ Walt Disney

[Noting that cartoons of days gone by always featured classical music . . . ]

Animation can explain whatever the mind of man can conceive. This facility makes it the most versatile and explicit means of communication yet devised for quick mass appreciation. ~ Walt Disney

Music had always had a prominent part in all our products from the early cartoon days.  So much so, in fact, that I cannot think of the pictorial story without thinking about the complementary music that will fulfill it . . . I have had no formal musical training.  But by long experience and by strong personal learning, I’ve selected musical themes, original or adapted, that were guided to wide audience acceptance. ~ Walt Disney

Fantasia, to me is a whole new opportunity. For my medium it opens up unlimited possibilities.  Music has always played a very important part since sound came into the cartoon. Now, the full expression that comes from the new Fantasound opens up a whole new world for us. ~ Walt Disney

Laughter is America’s most important export. ~ Walt Disney

[Brad seriously plucked this unknown-to-him young woman from the front row to conduct for a while. She was appropriately dressed in black . . . ]

I only hope that we don’t lose sight of one thing – that it was all started by a mouse. ~ Walt Disney

Crowded classrooms and half-day sessions are a tragic waste of our greatest national resource – the minds of our children. ~ Walt Disney

[A cartoon was acted with the music background . . . ]

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. ~ Walt Disney

March 27

I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days. ~ Bill Dana

[The babies enjoying the sunroom together on a sunny winter day . . . ]

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. ~ Garrison Keillor

The cat is above all things, a dramatist. ~ Margaret Benson

Way down deep, we’re all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. ~ Jim Davis

March 28

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. ~ David Bowie

[This was a Senior College class – by mere coincidence, our nonfiction book club had recently read this book. Now, we were being taught live by the author . . . ]

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. ~ Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma. ~ Eartha Kitt

The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. ~ Albert Einstein

March 30

When I hear of nationalism in my country today from the youngsters, I want to sit them down and tell them that flags and songs are not nationalism. Stopping at the traffic signal, opening the door for a lady, doing something for your country is nationalism. ~ Anubhav Sinha

Stages of life are artifacts. Adolescence is a useful contrivance, midlife is a moving target, senior citizens are an interest group, and tweenhood is just plain made up. ~ Jill Lepore

In this country that grows more food than any other nation on this earth, it is unthinkable that any child should go hungry. ~ Sela Ward

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves they have a better idea. ~ John Ciardi

Before Social Security existed, about half of America’s senior citizens lived in poverty. ~ Bernie Sanders

We don’t grow older, we grow riper. ~ Pablo Picasso

Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket. ~ Eric Hoffer

[And something noteworthy also took place on this date . . . ]

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed. ~ George Carlin

The world is not drive by greed. It is driven by envy. ~ Charles Munger

Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have already been there. ~ Bonnie Raitt

[And he received an advertising contract from Calvin Klein . . . ]

April 1

It was April in Minneapolis and snowing, the flakes coming down in thick swirls enchanting the city. ~ Cheryl Strayed

[The Saturday morning doughnut run continued to be a feat of derring-do. March 31 travel was restricted by ice; in the afternoon into the evening more snow created further issues for April 1 morning. At least it was too cold for tornadoes!]

“Snow in April is abominable,” said Anne. “Like a slap in the face when you expected a kiss.” ~ L.M. Montgomery

How strange it is, sometimes, which conversations or events stays with us while so much else melts as fast as April snow. ~ Marlena De Blasi

April hath put a spirit of youth in everything. ~ William Shakespeare

April 3

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

[Fine dining last night after the CommEd movies, a/k/a, the meatball that didn’t make it all the way to the table . . . ]

The object of opening the mind, as of opening the mouth, is to shut it again on something solid. ~ G. K. Chesterton

Everybody should work in their nation’s capitol and see how politics actually work because it was the most eye opening experience of my life. ~ Jake Tapper

Up Next: Getting closer to catching up . . .

April 13

The conservation movement, born in the United States during the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, came late, but mercifully not too late to save what is left of our fauna and flora.  ~  Edward O. Wilson

The Saturday morning doughnut run pretty much defined the winter . . . ~ Me

There is a new epoch for individuals over the age of 75.  It’s called the Age of Major Surgeries.  ~  Me

March 4

Follow up: Our Alex Cards hosted the Willmar Cardinals in section playoffs yesterday afternoon (March 5). As usual, Willmar got Hadley Thul in early foul trouble and she had to sit out a good portion of the 1st half. That must have made her mad. The 2nd half started with Hadley making a layup and then a 3-pointer as the Cards erupted for a 54-point 2nd half. (We played so well that one of my teammates from the Fat Boys Walking Club opined that our girls team would have beaten his high school boys team (of which he was a member) from the 1960’s.) We host Sauk Rapids-Rice for the section championship next Thursday.

[As noted in the previous post, I went to the Alex-Willmar game on January 27. It is now over a month later and this is the next game I was able to attend – once again the opponent is Willmar and it’s the first game of the section tournament . . . ]

When I was in high school, I was certain that being an astronaut was my goal. It was a very important time – Sally Ride was making her first flight into space and she had a real impact on me. ~ Karen Nyberg

[Pre-game warm ups. That’s 8th grader McKinley Hoelscher in the boot – she actually had regular playing time with the varsity this year . . . ]

I used to not like being called a ‘woman architect.’ I’m an architect, not just a woman architect. The guys used to tap me on the head and say ‘you’re OK for a girl.’ ~ Zaha Hadid

[Final instructions from Coach Kohler . . . ]

Mankind has made giant steps forward. However, what we know is really very, very little compared to what we still have to know. ~ Fabiola Gianotti, Higgs Boson physicist

[Overseen by the Amazing Mr. Ripley . . . ]

When you put the helmet on, it doesn’t matter if you are woman or man: your mission is to compete to win. ~ Milka Duno, Race car driver

[Sophomore Hadley Thul practicing free throws . . . ]

 I’m not a woman at Google, I’m a geek at Google. And being a geek is just great. ~ Marisa Mayer, CEO of Yahoo

[And again, with freshman Kate Hennessy practicing 3’s behind her . . . ]

Science is not a boy’s game, it’s not a girl’s game. It’s everyone’s game. It’s about where we are and where we’re going. ~ Nichelle Nichols, former NASA ambassador & actor

[SCORE!]

I have never let gender get in my way. ~ Kiran Mazumdar-Shaw, Founder of Biocon

[Mr. Ripley practicing his craft . . . ]

If you’re beautiful, you’re led to believe that you can’t also be smart. ~ Danica McKellar, Mathematician

[Exiting, stage left . . . ]

When I was young I was very interested in science and technology, and my dad brought home the first computer. I played pac man and I was hooked! ~ Regina Agyare, Founder of Soronko Solutions

[Hadley wins the opening tap . . . ]

I believe every single woman could accomplish what I’ve accomplished. ~ Weili Dai, Co-founder of Marvell Tech

[It looks like the ref is pointing in our direction, a turnover caused by Ms. Thul (11), perhaps . . . ]

Now we’re in an age where technology is mandatory, and we wanted young girls to have this understanding and know how to build an app. ~ Peta Clarke, Technical lead at Black Girls Code

[The stylish Coach Kohler . . . ]

When I was a kid we’d rent Indiana Jones movies on VHS tapes. It inspired a whole generation of scholars because we saw the excitement, and the passion, and the drama. ~ Dr. Sarah Parcak

[Hadley passes right; sophomore Chloe Scholl (15) sets a pic . . . ]

You cannot hope to build a better world without improving the individuals. ~ Marie Curie

[Another committee meeting . . . ]

Science and everyday life cannot and should not be separated. ~ Rosalind Franklin

[Sophomore point guard Allie Haabala (33) walks it up. Her strength is the transition game, after a rebound or turnover, she will race the ball up the court looking for an easy basket . . . ]

We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained. ~ Marie Curie

[Hadley takes advantage of her height to pass over the opposition . . . ]

For whatever reason, I didn’t succumb to the stereotype that science wasn’t for girls. ~ Sally Ride

[KXRA broadcasters DMac and Russ Hinrichs . . . ]

Don’t let others discourage you or tell you that you can’t do it. In my day I was told women didn’t go into chemistry. I saw no reason why we couldn’t. ~ Gertrude B. Elion

[Willmar shoots; Hadley and Kate (43) have inside rebounding position . . . ]

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, ‘We’ve always done it this way.’ I try to fight that. That’s why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. ~ Grace Hopper [Aside: I had a Nerdanian clock in my office.]

[A very impressive display by our Cards . . . ]

I once wrote a book on women in science. I realized when I was interviewing them that they were the equivalent of writers, or anyone else who tries to make art out of life. Through science they had reached the expressive. ~ Vivian Gornick

[Celebrate!]

Science and everyday life cannot and should not be separated. ~ Rosalind Franklin

[As next year will be a season of Great Expectations . . . ]

March 8

Persons of genius, it is true, are, and are always likely to be, a small minority; but in order to have them, it is necessary to preserve the soil in which they grow.  ~  John Stuart Mill

[Yup, here I am in the St. Cloud hospital again, supposedly for the insertion of a single stent. A preceding angiogram determined, however, that it would be too risky and I would be better off without it. And so it goes . . . ]

March 11

It’s March! It’s Minnesota! It’s the time of year the natives follow the girls and boys state hockey and basketball tournaments. And those confluence of events, by state statute, conspire to place the entire month in a hazardous weather warning. This morning’s doughnut run, for example, was a death defying endeavor. The latest storm of the century was just beginning with continuous wind and snowfall until 9:00 tonight (possibly beginning again after midnight). But the Alex boys team is in the state hockey tournament, the girls basketball team will be in the state tournament next week, and the boys basketball team will play for the section championship next week . . .

America’s national parks are “the best idea we ever had . . . ”  ~  Wallace Stegner

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond. ~ Ambrose Bierce

Spring is nature’s way of saying, Let’s party! ~ Robin Williams

The promise of spring’s arrival is enough to get anyone through the bitter winter! ~ Jen Selinsky

In those days, though, the spring always came finally but it was frightening that it had nearly failed. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Yes, I deserve a spring – I owe nobody nothing. ~ Virginia Woolf

Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn. ~ Lewis Grizzard

In the spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. ~ Mark Twain

Every spring is the only spring, a perpetual astonishment. ~ Ellis Peters

March 12

Spring will come and so will happiness. Hold on. Life will get warmer. ~ Anita Krizzan

[Again, so delighted the doctor persons forbade me from shoveling snow all winter – working on a lifetime exemption!]

She turned to the sunlight, And shook her yellow head, And whispered to her neighbor: “Winter is dead.” ~ A.A. Milne

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome. ~ Anne Bradstreet

Spring won’t let me stay in this house any longer! I must get out and breathe the air deeply again. ~ Gustav Mahler

March 14

Tennessee has now given the entire country an object lesson in critical race theory better than any AP history course ever could have. Everybody sees it now. Everybody knows it now. Everybody gets exactly what is going on. ~ Elie Mystal

[In a twist of fate, senior college fell on the same day as Tuesday Nightclub was performing at the Garden Bar. So we students all decided to dine here, but in the excitement forgot it was National Pi Day . . . ]

March is the month God created to show people who don’t drink what a hangover is like. ~ Garrison Keillor

I’ve been arrested for ‘stealing’ my own car, only to be released. ~ Congressman Jamaal Brown

[Other admirers of the local entertainment scene . . . ]

Everything is everywhere, but the environment selects.  ~  Lourens Bass Becking

[Clap while you eat . . . ]

Nature is wild, nature is ancient, nature is pure, this essentially American credo [conservation] declared, and nature should not be managed except to blunt the corroding effects of human interference.  ~  Edward O. Wilson

[The aforementioned Tuesday Nightclub . . . ]

The most dangerous worldview is the worldview of those who have not viewed the world.  ~  Alexander von Humboldt

[Joined on this occasion by a tenor, fresh from his attendance at Senior College . . . ]

. . . even though extinction rates are soaring, a great deal of Earth’s biodiversity can still be saved.  ~  Edward O. Wilson 

Both teachers and learners go to sleep at their post as soon as there is no enemy in the field.  ~  John Stuart Mill

[Well-known local theatre folk . . . ]

I never meant to say that the Conservatives are generally stupid. I meant to say that stupid people are generally Conservative. I believe that is so obviously and universally admitted a principle that I hardly think any gentleman will deny it. Suppose any party, in addition to whatever share it may possess of the ability of the community, has nearly the whole of its stupidity, that party must, by the law of its constitution, be the stupidest party; and I do not see why honorable gentlemen should see that position as at all offensive to them, for it ensures their being always an extremely powerful party. ~ John Stuart Mill

March 18

My problem is white comfort with Black death. I am personally tired of white comfort with black death. ~ Congressman Jamaal Brown

[The Saturday morning doughnut run is still taking place in the dark of night in single digit temperatures. Probably has something to do with “wokeness.”]

Spring is the time of the year, when it is summer in the sun and winter in the shade. ~ Charles Dickens

Generations of have trod, have trod, have trod; And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil; And wears man’s smudge and shares man’s smell; the soil Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.   ~  Gerard Manley Hopkins

Our life is March weather, savage and serene in one hour. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

POOR MARCH. It is the HOMELIEST month of the year. Most of it is MUD, Every Imaginable Form of MUD, and what isn’t MUD in March is ugly late-season SNOW falling onto the ground in filthy muddy heaps that look like PILES of DIRTY LAUNDRY. ~ Vivian Swift

Up Next: I believe there’s about two catch-up posts left . . .