It’s Me Again (Part 13)

May 22

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. ~ Albert Einstein

As I type this, I only have two rehab sessions (out of 36) left to complete. We’re stretching out the ole lifestyle again – outdoor music at the winery in the afternoon and symphony concert that night on Saturday; and a mini-road trip on Sunday to Long Prairie (to see “The Pole”) and lunch at Rock Tavern on Birch Lake in Grey Eagle on Sunday. And I sacrificed my ability to avoid future Job Jar lists by hefting a 40-pound bag of salt into its water softener container this week – all my new interior connections appear to have held up under the strain . . . ~ Me

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. ~ Isaac Asimov

April 6

I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness. ~ Alicia Silverstone

[A beautiful clear ice frost on this day . . . ]

Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life. ~ Brooke Shields

Movie acting suits me because I only need to be good for 90 seconds at a time. ~ Bill Murray

I love the smell of diapers; I even like when they’re wet and you smell them all warm like a baked good. ~ Sarah Jessica Parker

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

Detroit, the heart of the country… I grew up on 10 Mile, 2 miles better than 8 Mile. ~ Kristen Bell

[A reminder why icicles make perfect murder weapons . . . ]

April 7

The more our leaders must fear their own constituents, the more removed they will be from the people they serve. ~ Susan Caskie

[Unbelievably, in less than one week our front door bench escaped from its ice prison . . . ]

We need help. ~ Mike Lindell

April 8

Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong, and disposable. ~ Cher

[This was the first doughnut run in the light of day since Daylight Savings Time started. Sunrise over Lake Agnes and a full moon over Kincaid Cemetery . . . ]

The cool thing about being famous is traveling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff. ~ Britney Spears

I don’t really think, I just walk. ~ Paris Hilton

Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. ~ Groucho Marx

[Why not? It was a balmy 42 degrees.]

The whole aging thing is so boring. ~ Martha Stewart

April 9

I don’t know if this is too much…but I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm. ~ Lady Gaga

[We noticed this strange green substance in the yard today. We took a sample and sent it off to the Department of Agriculture for identification. A neighbor heard a rumor it may be something called . . . “grass”?]

April 12

I’m sure wherever my Dad is, he’s looking down on us. He’s not dead, just very condescending. ~ Jack Whitehall

[I told our rehab overseers at the hospital yesterday that I’d burned so many calories in the session that I was going home for a doughnut . . . ]

April 13

I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon. ~ Ellen DeGeneres

[The aforementioned un-iced bench . . . ]

I’m an environmentalist. Most of my jokes are recycled. ~ David Letterman

[Spring cleaning – or the babies thought we were going on a trip . . . ]

April 15

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting. ~ Mark Twain

[Galaxy Road, yet another music group from St. Cloud and environs, performing at Carlos Creek Winery. It was a group of first impression for us . . . ]

He’s always asking: ‘Is that new? I haven’t seen that before.’ It’s like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet. ~ Michelle Obama

[The Super ISO I have no idea . . . ]

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion. ~ Tina Fey

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. ~ George Burns

I asked my brother-in-law, the father of four boys, ‘If you had it to do all over again, would you still have kids?’ ‘Yes,’ he said. ‘Just not these four.’ ~ Sheila Lee

[The Super lining up her “Missing you at . . . ” photo . . . ]

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. ~ Doug Larson

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten. ~ George Carlin

[Nice harmonizing a la the Everly Brothers . . . ]

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. ~ Kate Moss

If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure. ~ Dan Quayle

When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal. ~ Richard Nixon

For all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white… Just because it makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. ~ Megyn Kelly

We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur. ~ Dan Quayle

[It snowed – again . . . ]

Fiction writing is great, you can make up almost anything. ~ Ivana Trump

April 16

The secret to a happy marriage? Do whatever your wife tells you. ‘Yes, dear.’ And breathe. ~ Denzil Washington

[Result of aforementioned snow . . . ]

A bird doesn’t sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song. ~ Maya Angelou

April 18

Camp is the kind of comedy where they imitate me. ~ Mae West

[As students of senior college, we generally go out to dinner together after class. On this date, Tuesday Nightclub was performing at the Garden Bar on 6th. A perfect combination . . . ]

A wealth of information creates a poverty of attention. ~ Herbert Simon

One of the most significant shifts in American politics just took place and it barely got any notice. ~ Ryan Burge (religious affiliation dropped by 11 points between 2010 and 2020)

These days, we need to worry about the much more dangerous misinformed (vs. uninformed) voters who are often wrong, never uncertain. ~ Brian Klaas

I love to eat an apple after a meal, just to cleanse my teeth – they always look polished afterward. ~ Catherine Zeta Jones

[Kilroy wasn’t here . . . ]

I’m now convinced that I’m a doctor. I mean, if someone says they have a pain, I’m like, ‘Well, that’s your spleen.’ ~ Olivia Wilde

[But I was . . . ]

Get at least eight hours of beauty sleep, nine if you’re ugly. ~ Betty White

[After first checking to see if any copyright lawyers were lurking around the place, I did my cover of the famous three-note bass on Bill Withers’ “Ain’t No Sunshine” . . . ]

I like women, I don’t understand them, but I like them. ~ Sean Connery

[The aforementioned senior college students . . . ]

Instant gratification takes too long. ~ Carrie Fisher

I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet. ~ Angelina Jolie

My father always said, ‘Never trust anyone whose TV is bigger than their bookshelf.’ ~ Emilia Clarke

April 20

So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year? ~ Christina Aguilera

[The babies . . . ]

April 21

If you’re living in an area with a bad school, move to a place where there’s a better school. ~ Lamar Alexander

[Winter refuses to leave . . . ]

You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours. ~ Yogi Berra

Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing – but none of them serious. ~ Alan Minter

And now the sequence of events, in no particular order. ~ Dan Rather

April 22

This book was written using 100% recycled words. ~ Terry Pratchett

[It was, of course, doughnut run day this morning. I started out from home not realizing it’s still mid-January here. The wind chill was unimaginable as snow snakes scuttled across the roads. Of major surprise was along the way it appeared Lake Winona was now ice free? A further surprise upon arriving at the bakery I learned Doug Hasz had already paid for my doughnuts. He was off to an early start to set up kettle corn operations in Clara City. If you’re in that neighborhood, drop by and give him the business . . . ]

The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him. ~ Oscar Wilde

Donuts. Is there anything they can’t do? ~ Homer Simpson

Mmm… donuts. ~ Homer Simpson

I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. ~ John Belushi

With a doughnut in each hand, anything is possible. ~ Jameela Jamil

Up Next: Still catching up . . . but getting closer . . .