Christmas: The Month in Review

December 11

The future [of America] is not going to be formed by 76-year old white guys living in Florida.  ~  David Brooks

For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. ~ Lily Tomlin

This is your Christmas card. Due to the vicissitudes of age, time, and health, we will not honor America’s major holiday with the usual “full year in review.” Instead, we will just play blog catch up with what’s left to cover as the year comes to an end. In other words, this is just a regular submission in my diary that doubles as a blog. As the saying goes, stuff happens. At least it ended with, to paraphrase Jimmy V., a perfect day when you can enjoy the symphony, meet for book club, and end with John Cleese discussing creativity on TV . . . ~ Me

Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family. ~ Charles M. Schulz

Nothing ever seems too bad, too hard or too sad when you’ve got a Christmas tree in the living room. ~ Nora Roberts

[Guinie stands guard over the tree (when she’s not trying to climb it) . . . ]

We begin in direct contradiction with what has previously been stated. The Supervisor came upon an old photo disc and placed it on my desk, which I took to believe was a request to “put these in the Christmas blog!” They are photos from Christmas 2004, from a place highly noted for its white Christmases – southern Indiana. ~ Me

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, ‘So does the guy I stole it from.‘ ~ David Letterman

[Ruthie’s sister Rita’s classic log home in Nashville, Indiana . . . ]

Let’s be naughty and save Santa the trip. ~ Gary Allan

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. ~ Maya Angelou

[Ruthie, Rita, and Beth (Rita’s daughter) in front of stated log home . . . ]

Christmas: It’s the only religious holiday that’s also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at home and reflect on the true meaning of the separation of church and state. ~ Samantha Bee

[Walking the city streets of Nashville . . . ]

We celebrate the birth of one who told us to give everything to the poor by giving each other motorized tie racks. ~ Bill McKibben

[On the street where Rita lives . . . ]

I love Christmas. I receive a lot of wonderful presents I can’t wait to exchange. ~ Henny Youngman

[Ruthie greets a neighborhood ungulate coming from Rita’s yard . . . ]

I grew up on a Christmas Tree Farm so this is a good season for me. ~ Taylor Swift

[The sign says “Be careful, there’s a fence under the snowpile.” This was at the home of Rita’s friend and neighbor, famed wildlife artist Bill Zimmerman . . . ]

Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. ~ Max Lucado

Meanwhile, back in modern times . . .

November 3

Christmas is such a carefree, low-pressure time—that’s one of the things I love about it. ~ Stephen King

[Alexandria’s football team won the section 8 5A championship (with an 11 – 0 season record) earning a trip to the Vikings’ stadium for the state semifinals . . . ]

‘White Christmas’ is the ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ of Christmas songs. ~ Stewart Stafford

Thank you, Stockings, for being a long flammable piece of fabric people like to hang over a roaring fireplace. ~ Jimmy Fallon

[Moving toward field center for the after game congratulatory handshakes with the Brainerd players . . . ]

This holiday season, no matter what your religion is, please take a moment to reflect on why it’s better than all the other ones. ~ Guy Endore Kaiser

[Books not appreciated by Ron DeSantis . . . ]

November 7

I hate the radio this time of year because they play ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ like, every other song. And that’s just not enough. ~ Bridger Winegar

[Terry Kennedy and Erik Schultz entertaining the dinner crowd at the Garden Bar on 6th . . . ]

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help. ~ Andy Borowitz

[Fine examples of Garden Bar on 6th constituents . . . ]

The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven’t seen for 20 minutes. ~ Julius Sharpe

[Le Homme Dog . . . ]

November 11

I bought my brother some gift wrap for Christmas. I took it to the Gift Wrap department and told them to wrap it, but in a different print so he would know when to stop unwrapping. ~ Steven Wright

[The Cardinal girls hockey team opened the season hosting the Buffalo Bison . . . ]

My wife, like many women, actually ‘likes’ wrapping things. If she gives you a gift that requires batteries, she wraps the batteries separately, which to me is very close to being a symptom of mental illness. ~ Dave Barry

[And away we go!]

I left Santa gluten-free cookies and organic soy milk and he put a solar panel in my stocking. ~ Earthman Adam

[Sophomore Lillian Dutton (26) unleashes a shot on goal . . . ]

More than Santa Claus, your sister knows when you’ve been bad and good. ~ Linda Sunshine

[The scoreboard shut down early – final score: Alexandria – 2, Buffalo – 0]

We got so caught up in the little things of Christmas, like love and family, that we almost forgot that it’s buying things that makes our economy thrive. ~ Diana Choksondik

[Mothers’ Day photo . . . ]

November 27

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist, it would be necessary to invent it. ~ Katharine Whitehorn

[The Super made a discovery while scouring the “basement” for Christmas decorations. This was a present to her from Basketball Dan commemorating her Hoosiers’ national championship in 1987, a game attended by Basketball Dan and me at the Superdome in New Orleans . . . ]

Got all my Christmas shopping done. Now to shop for other people. ~ Conan O’Brien

[Out of all the great movies this year, still may have been my favorite . . . ]

November 28

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Really? Is it the most wonderful? Have you been outside? Seen the crowds? The traffic? Ever go through security in the airport in December? I’ll tell you one word that doesn’t come to mind: wonderful. ~ Jim Gaffigan

[The season opening game for our Cardinal girl basketballers hoping to reprise their state tournament appearance from last year. Expectations are high as they started the season ranked No. 1 in state class 3A. Here junior center Ashley Thul (11) wins the opening tap against perennial power Marshall . . . ]

Christmas is getting all you can get while the getting is good. ~ Sally Brown

[The ball moved out of the frame when I took the picture . . . ]

Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup; Peace on earth, goodwill to men, and make them do the washing up. ~ Wendy Cope

[A nice opening win against a quality opponent . . . ]

November 30

I’d rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards. ~ Paul O’Grady

[Two days later the girls hosted conference rival Brainerd. We begin again with Hadley and the anatomy of the jump ball . . . ]

I’m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out, I’ll drink the red. ~ Anonymous

I’m releasing a holiday song called, ‘All I Want for Christmas is my Parents’ Freaking Wifi Password.’ ~ Damien Fahey 

All I want for Christmas is for my family to stop trying to talk to me while I’m trying to tweet. ~ Robin Wood

[From my courtside location, the Cardinals, as is their wont, push the ball upcourt at speed . . . ]

You know you’re getting older when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul

[Hadley had just scored her career 1,000th point . . . ]

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor. ~ Charles Dickens

I don’t want Christmas season to end, because it’s the only time I can legitimately indulge in on particular addiction: glitter. ~ Eloisa James

[Though this is the final score, the game was unofficially over at the half . . . ]

December 1

Christmas makes me happy no matter what time of year it comes around. ~ Bryan White

[Cardinal girls hockey team teed it up against the mighty Moorhead Spuds . . . ]

Christmas is always a problem to the man who has to convince his kids that there is a Santa Claus, and his wife that there isn’t. ~ Evan Esar

[The rest of the game was decidedly not this close. The Cards will nonetheless recover . . . ]

You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa. ~ Buddy the Elf

[The voices of Cardinal sports on KXRA . . . ]

Let us keep Christmas still a shining thing. ~ Grace Noll Crowell

[The Cardinals coaching brain trust . . . ]

Wretched excess is an unfortunate human trait that turns a perfectly good idea such as Christmas into a frenzy of last-minute shopping. ~ Jon Anderson

[A highlight of the game for me was a visit from Nikki Ecklund (front row, right). Nikki was a member of the Cardinals 2008 state championship team, and I had not seen her since then. She was at the game, now as a Spuds fan as she lives in Moorhead with her husband and two young daughters destined to be hockey players . . . ]

December 2

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? ~ Clark Griswold

[On the Saturday morning (6:00 am) doughnut run . . . ]

Christmas is a stocking stuffed with sugary goodness. ~ Mo Rocca

[A good opportunity for a shot of Big Ole with the decorated Christmas tree across the street at The Depot . . . ]

There’s nothing cozier than a Christmas tree all lit up. ~ Jenny Han

Freshly cut Christmas trees smelling of stars and snow and pine resin – inhale deeply and fill your soul with wintry night. ~ John J. Geddes

A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to all the world! ~ Charles Dickens

[Shortly after arriving home with our doughnuts . . . ]

Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs? ~ Gilbert K. Chesterton

[The most sought after Saturday morning treats!]

December 6

Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of ‘s.’ I suppose you could say ‘Merry Christmas’ and ‘Happy New Year,’ but you probably have sh*t to do. ~ Jon Stewart

[Self explanatory . . . ]

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. ~ John B. Priestly

If you can’t wrap Christmas presents well, at least make it look like they put up a good fight. ~ Unknown

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. ~ Unknown

The outdoor Christmas lights, green and red and gold and blue and twinkling, remind me that most people are that way all year round — kind, generous, friendly and with an occasional moment of ecstasy. But Christmas is the only time they dare reveal themselves. ~ Harlan Miller

[The Performing Arts Center stage . . . ]

If you see a sign that says ‘Peep Show’, that doesn’t mean they’re letting you look at presents before Christmas. ~ Father Christmas in Elf

Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling. ~ Edna Ferber

[Shaun and the Big Band . . . ]

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. ~ Lenore Hershey

Christmas is like candy; it slowly melts in your mouth sweetening every taste bud, making you wish it could last forever. ~ Richelle Goodrich

[After the gig, our fellow attendees, Tom Mulder and his daughter Nancy, visited with Shaun as they are longtime friends . . . ]

At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. ~ Thomas Tusser

I won’t ask for much this Christmas. I won’t even wish for snow. And I’m just gonna keep on waiting, underneath the mistletoe. ~ Mariah Carey

December 8

A Christmas tree, the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead. ~ Jay Leno

[The umpteenth annual “Those Who Stay Behind” dinner last night at Arrowwood Resort. Made up of past and current members of the senior men’s golf league who do not flee to the South at the first sighting of a snowflake. This was the first time in recorded history that this event (always the 2nd Friday in December) took place in a total absence of snow . . . ]

A good conscience is a continual Christmas. ~ Benjamin Franklin

[All partook of either the pasta bar or the stir fry bar . . . ]

My mom and dad always tried to make Christmas special for us. We were poor, but it’s funny because we had no idea. ~ Johnny Mathis

Christmas is a togethery sort of holiday. That’s my favorite kind. ~ Winnie the Pooh

It’s always consoling to know that today’s Christmas gifts are tomorrow’s garage sales. ~ Milton Berle

[I fled the dinner in time to catch the 2nd half of the girls basketball game against Willmar. This was the halftime score, so what I saw was just playing out the string. I should note that at the time of this missive the boys season hadn’t yet started – they will similarly be playing to return to state and are ranked 3rd in the state as the season begins . . . ]

Down the chimney? You want me to take the toys down the chimney into a strange house, IN MY UNDERWEAR? ~ Scott Calvin in The Santa Clause

[This is called “general milling about” . . . ]

You have such a pretty face, you should be on a Christmas card! ~ Elf

[Under the studied-eye of crouching coach Wendy Kohler . . . ]

Why are women… so much more interesting to men than men are to women? ~ Virginia Woolf

December 9

I am dreaming of white Christmas, with every Christmas card I write, May your days be Merry and bright, and May all your Christmases be white. ~ Bing Crosby

[The day after the no snow “Those Who Stay Behind” dinner . . . ]

It’s fruitcake weather! ~ Truman Capote

The ideal Christmas gift is money, but the trouble is you can’t charge it. ~ Bill Vaughan

[Quinie was not put off by the sudden appearance of the white stuff . . . ]

I like indoor Christmas trees. And I like people who decorate their homes with lights and all that crap. I think it’s a healthy outlet for them. If they weren’t covering their lawns with twinkling lights, they’d be doing something that was really, really creepy. ~ Lewis Black

[Laddie, on the other hand, decided I’m not going out there!]

It’s that special time of year when your whole family gathers together in one place to look at their cellphones. ~ Jimmy Kimmel

This past Christmas, I told my girlfriend for months in advance that all I wanted was an Xbox. That’s it. Beginning and end of list, Xbox. You know what she got me? A homemade frame with a picture of us from our first date together. Which was fine. Because I got her an Xbox. ~ Anthony Jeselnik

[And then it was on to Carlos Creek Winery for an afternoon with Elsa Lee . . . ]

Christmas Shopping: Wouldn’t it be wonderful to find one gift that you didn’t have to dust, that had to be used right away, that was practical, fit everyone, was personal and would be remembered for a long time? I penciled in “Gift certificate for a flu shot.” ~ Erma Bombeck

[It was good to see her again as it had been about a year since her last appearance here . . . ]

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! ~ Francis P. Church

Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal. ~ Lenore Hershey

One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books. ~ Professor Dumbledore

Most parents, it turns out, don’t want elected officials dictating how history is taught or what books kids can read, and don’t share the GOP’s anti-trans hysteria.  ~  Jamelle Boule

[Photo by Ruthie . . . ]

Heap on more wood! – the wind is chill; But let it whistle as it will, We’ll keep our Christmas merry still. ~ Walter Scott

December 10

Xmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a “religious” meaning. ~ Andy Borowitz

I have fun with my clothes onstage; it’s not a concert you’re seeing, it’s a fashion show. ~ Freddie Mercury

If you go to a Christmas concert, you take your wife on a nice evening, people are dressed up a little bit more, and it’s definitely a sit-down event. ~ Bart Millard

[The high school’s Performing Arts Center . . . ]

On Christmas morning, before we could open our presents, we would go to this stranger’s home and bring them presents. I remember helping clean the house up and putting up a tree. My father believed you are responsible for looking after everyone else. ~ George Clooney.

My mom and dad always tried to make Christmas special for us. We were poor, but it’s funny because we had no idea. ~ Johnny Mathis

There are 17 more shopping days until Christmas. So, guys, that means 16 more days till we start shopping, right? ~ Conan O’Brien

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark. ~ Dick Gregory

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ONE AND ALL

[These people spent an inordinate amount of time engaged with the country’s health care system this year. Otherwise, the proud parents of Quinie and Laddie generally behaved themselves . . . ]

Peace on earth will come to stay, When we live Christmas every day. ~ Helen Steiner Rice

All land is stolen land; every piece of dirt has been conquered multiple times.  ~  Noah Smith