Camp ’22 (Part 3)

August 16

I married a woman who loves to camp, and I am what you would call indoorsy… My wife always brings up, Camping’s a tradition in my family. Hey, it was a tradition in everyone’s family ’til we came up with the house. ~ Jim Gaffigan

When I’m deciding to read a book, I never open to the first chapter, because that’s been revised and worked over 88 times. I’ll just turn to the middle of the book, to the middle of a chapter, and just read a random page and I’ll know right away whether this is the real deal or not. ~ Carl Hiaasen

[The morning “steam” over Elkhart Lake on August 5 . . . ]

August 3

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories. ~ Steven Wright

[A picture is worth a thousand words. However, the swimming area actually stretches to our direct view from Rappaport . . . ]

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. ~ H. L. Mencken

[A generic schedule for we older folks . . . ]

Humans are like bunnies. Some can be incredibly sweet, and some can be little demons. Either way they are dumb. ~ Alice Jansing

[These guys/gals must live under the evergreen in our front yard. So accustomed to campers, they are hardly distracted when we walk by . . . ]

If it weren’t for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn’t get any exercise at all. ~ Joey Adams

[During the two year shut down, the steps from the office (Efroymson Hall) to lake level, which previously were the equivalent of rappelling, were replaced. While it made ascent and descent much easier and safer, I still preferred the golf cart . . . ]

I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. ~ Mark Twain

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate. ~ Gina Barreca

[Into every life, a little rain must fall . . . ]

I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. ~ Tim Vine

[And this is our room, with window fan air conditioning . . . ]

Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~ Bob Hope

[We had our names on the door so we could find our way home . . . ]

If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. ~ Tallulah Bankhead

[The lake view from our screen porch . . . ]

My sister Rita Simon & me beating former IU basketball star John Laskowski & his partner in the Camp Brosius Euchre tournament. John owns the Bloomington Culvers. ~ Ruthie

If you’re not in New York, you’re camping out. ~ Thomas Dewey

[Let the games begin! Here the cornhole tournament with the aforementioned Fort Waynians Scott (throwing) & Vicki teaming up . . . ]

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. ~ W. C. Fields

[Scotty and Vick (throwing) giving it the good ole college try . . . ]

I hate camping, but I love summer camp. ~ Zooey Deschanel

[Jenny (throwing) and Kent (blue shirt), daughter-in-law and son of Vicki and Scott, defending their cornhole championship once again. They are a mini-dynasty . . . ]

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition. ~ Dave Barry

[Ed showing the form that led him to a high finish in horseshoes in a previous camp . . . ]

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. ~ Mark Twain

As frightening as this may sound, what you see in the books is the way I see the world. And so far I haven’t seen anything, either in Florida or elsewhere, to dissuade me from it. ~ Carl Hiaasen

[My teammate, Rosalba, in warmups . . . ]

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it. ~ Joan Rivers

[Through sheer grit and determination, Rosalba and I made our way to the semifinals – we drew a 1st round bye, then won by forfeit . . . ]

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. ~ Billy Connolly

[Wait till next year!!]

Incredibly, almost every hotel I ever played in Vegas was blown up shortly afterward: The Dunes, The Sands, The Landmark, The Aladdin, The Frontier, The Hacienda, The Stardust – all were imploded. ~ Elayne Boosler

[Although I don’t see us unseating Jenny and Kent, who are to cornhole what the dreaded Callecod sisters are to euchre . . . ]

Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing every year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared. ~ Jack Handey

[The threes time a day chow line . . . ]

August 4

Of course, not everybody likes camping trips. I do not myself enjoy them much, because I’m not outdoorsy, or at any rate, I’m not outdoorsy overnight-without-a-matress-wise. There’s a limit to the outdoorsiness to which some academics can be expected to submit. ~ G.A. Cohen

[Theatre L’Homme Dieu and Farewell Argentina saved each other coming out of COVID . . . ]

Now that we finally got the men out of the way, we can have some fun . . .

[It’s nice here in the shade – we can just sit and visit, read a book, cool our heels . . . ]

Camping is nature’s way of promoting the motel business. ~ Dave Barry

You can never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. ~ Christopher Columbus

[The camp’s Smoker Craft pontoon – Rita’s best friend and a longtime Brosius camper, Cindy, was in the Smoker lineage . . . ]

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t. ~ Victor Borge

If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable. ~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca

If you live a life of make-believe, your life isn’t worth anything until you do something that does challenge your reality. And to me, sailing the open ocean is a real challenge, because it’s life or death. ~ Morgan Freeman

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking. ~ Jerry Seinfeld

[Our porch was always a center of activities, and inactivities . . . ]

[Rosalba, my partner in the cornhole tournament. Rosalba lives in Winston Salem, NC, where she is good friends with a former colleague (of a much higher level) of mine from the Department of Labor’s Wage and Hour Division. With the aforementioned Dan Spiro, giving camp a trifecta of Kevin Bacon-ness connections . . . ]

It’s regatta time!

I never think of the future – it comes soon enough. ~ Albert Einstein

[Spectators line the dock for the first heat. There were 6 contestants and 4 Sunfish – so it was decided to do two heats of three with heat winners facing off . . . ]

There is nothing – absolutely nothing – half so much worth doing as simply messing about in boats. ~ Kenneth Grahame

[The first heat board their boats . . . ]

Big boats get the glory, but the dingy makes the sailor. ~ From the movie “Wind”

[Phyllis . . . ]

It is not the ship so much as the skillful sailing that assures the prosperous voyage. ~ George William Curtis

[Chris . . . ]

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever. ~ Jacques Yves Cousteau

I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship. ~ Louisa May Alcott

[It’s neck and neck going up wind to the first buoy . . . ]

I keep sailing on in this middle passage. I am sailing into the wind and the dark. But I am doing my best to keep my boat steady and my sails full. ~ Arthur Ashe

[Heading for the finish with the wind at their backs . . . ]

Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea. ~ Charles Cook

[Chris made a final dash to pull it out at the end . . . ]

Sailing round the world in a dirty gondola oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola! ~ Bob Dylan

[The excitement builds as the racers take off into the wind again . . . ]

Mackerel skies and mares tails, soon will be time to shorten sails. ~ Sailors proverb

[Sailing past the Brosius Bay swimming area . . . ]

Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century. ~ Dave Anderson

[Jack pulled away in the finals . . . ]

Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give him a fishing lesson and he’ll sit in a boat drinking beer every weekend. ~ Alex Blackwell

[And across the finish line . . . ]

Only two sailors, in my experience, never ran aground. One never left port and the other was an atrocious liar. ~ Don Bamford

The fishermen know that the sea is dangerous and the storm terrible, but they have never found these dangers sufficient reason for remaining ashore. ~ Vincent Van Gogh

[I believe that was Phyllis with the red and white sail . . . ]

The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind. ~ Carl Hiaasen

[The Super and Ed enjoying a weekly highlight – a pontoon ride around the lake after dinner. We got the early shift this year meaning we couldn’t come home with the sunset . . . ]

[With the staff driver, Chris, Elke, Beth, Jack, and Phyllis. Jack and Phyllis, both geology professors at Austin Peay University, had no previous connection to Indiana University until about 12 years ago (I think they said at introductions) when they saw an ad for Camp Brosius. They thought it looked like a nice place for a week’s summer vacation and have been coming every year since. We watched their daughter grow up in camp and now she’s in college, doing a summer work program and living in Arlington, Virginia, less than a mile from where Ruthie and I lived . . . ]

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. ~ Lewis Black

[Pulling away with the Sputh Roundhouse in the background . . . ]

It’s easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate. ~ Carl Hiaasen

[And the Roundhouse from the other side . . . ]

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it. ~ P. J. O’Rourke

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. ~ Jim Carrey

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes? ~ George Gobel

[The trees along the shoreline are “trimmed” to the level the deer can reach while standing on the ice in winter . . . ]

A camera didn’t make a great picture anymore than a typewriter wrote a great novel. ~ Peter Adams

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film. ~ Stephen Wright

[The Osthoff Resort on the far side of the lake from camp . . . ]

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. ~ Mitch Hedberg

Minolta makes the best bodies, Nikon makes the best lenses, Canon makes the best compromise. ~ Unknown

[The Tiki Bar (with the colorful umbrellas) where we stopped on day one . . . ]

Photography is a moment of embarrassment and a lifetime of pleasure. ~ Tony Benn

[A new house on the lake that was estimated to have cost several shekels . . . ]

First Person: “Is that camera fully automatic?” Second Person: “No. You have to take the film to the chemist!” ~ Unknown

[The Super’s favorite boat house . . . ]

[The Johnsonville Brat house, also estimated to have cost a few shekels . . . ]

My life is shaped by the urgent need to wander and observe, and my camera is my passport. ~ Steve McCurry

[Back to home sweet home . . . ]

A good photograph is knowing where to stand. ~ Ansel Admas

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. ~ Benjamin Franklin

Twelve significant photographs in any one year is a good crop. ~ Ansel Adams

August 5

If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough. ~ Albert Einstein

[I always look forward to the mornings with a “marine layer” before the sunrise. It finally happened on the last day of camp making for great photo ops . . . ]

There are no bad photographs. That’s just how your face looks sometimes. ~ Abraham Lincoln

What’s the difference between a large pepperoni pizza and a photographer? A large pepperoni pizza can feed a family of four. ~ Anonymous

The quickest way to make money at photography is to sell your camera. ~ Anonymous

[A/k/a, Ye Olde Swimming Hole . . . ]

The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with a photograph of herself. ~ Elizabeth Metcalf

If you saw a man drowning 20 feet away and you could either save him or photograph him…what lens would you use? ~ Anonymous

[The Sputh Roundhouse, where all daily activities begin for the early risers . . . ]

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors. ~ Plato

On being asked what he would save first if his house were on fire, his wife or his negatives, Ansel Adams responded: “My wife, of course. Then I’d have her get the negs out!”

People say photographs don’t lie, mine do. ~ David Lachapelle.

Photography is pretty simple stuff. You just react to what you see, and take many, many pictures. ~ Elliott Erwitt.

Photographers: the only people who don’t get arrested for flashing and exposing in public. ~ Unknown

Consulting the rules of composition before making a picture is a little like consulting the law of gravitation before going for a walk? ~ Edward Weston

Taking a picture is like tiptoeing into the kitchen late at night and stealing Oreo cookies. ~ Diane Arbus

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim. ~ Paula Poundstone

[The activities for the last full day of camp begin with the lake swim. The pontoon takes all the competitors across the lake for the one-mile swim back to camp – it was a shorter 2/3 of a mile this year . . . ]

Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked. ~ Warren Buffett

[There were only 7 participants but to my knowledge they all made it. The first three completed the swim in a little over 23 minutes. Being of sound mind but lesser body I have never attempted this endeavor . . . ]

Swimming is a confusing sport, because sometimes you do it for fun, and other times you do it to not die. And when I’m swimming, sometimes I’m not sure which one it is. ~ Demetri Martin

[Phyllis and Jack finished 2nd and 3rd, respectively . . . ]

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ~ Edith Wharton

[We lost a good friend and camper a couple years ago. We were delighted that Rosalba came back to camp this year . . . ]

Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago. ~ Warren Buffett

[The patio – not unlike sitting on a bench in Central Park . . . ]

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. ~ Joey Adams

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person’s plate. ~ Dave Barry

[The Biddies enjoying an ice cream cone in Gessert’s Ice Cream & Confectionery in downtown Elkhart Lake, celebrating 100 years in business . . . ]

I always feel like I’m warring with my womanhood and wanting the world to be better, and with my blackness – which is the opposite of whiteness. ~ Jessica Williams

[Sheboygan Broughton Marsh Park & Tower – I climbed it once several years ago. Once is enough . . . ]

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. ~ Dave Barry

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much. ~ Buddy Hackett

[The last night of camp – party time . . . ]

I don’t accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express. ~ Stephen Colbert

[The staff will soon be on their ways back to college . . . ]

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. ~ Robert Benchley

[Larry, the previous longtime chef at camp and since retired, dropped by to say “hi” to his favorite customers . . . ]

We do not remember days, we remember moments. ~ Cesare Pavese

[A campertime line was posted on patio . . . ]

[I think the first visit by the Super and me was in 1993 . . . ]

[We’ve have been many times since, the exact number of times would require too much research . . . ]

[Nephew Chris signs the board with his mom and Ruthie checking his spelling. I somehow had never noticed that he’s left-handed?]

[We left for home the next morning . . . ]

August 6

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. ~ Emo Philips

[Crazy Dave’s town was re-opened on our drive back home . . . ]

JUST THE FACTS, MA’AM! We arrived home from Camp Brosius in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin, in just a tidge over 7 hours with one stop for gas and a state mandated stop at the DQ in Albany, MN. The one-way distance was 452 miles. Our total mileage for the one week stay was 1014 miles. DYK that gas in eastern Wisconsin was a mere $3.39 per gallon? ~ Me

[Allianz Field, home of Minnesota United FC, a Major League Soccer team in North America, as we rolled through St. Paul on I-94 on the drive home . . . ]

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. ~ Winston Churchill

Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. ~ Jules Renard

Up Next: Music stuff and the beginning of the high school entertainment year . . .

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