Homecoming ’21

September 26

Football teams represent cities and colleges and schools. The people have built great stadiums, and the game is culturally intertwined with our calendar. We don’t go back to college for the college. We go back for a football game, and, yes, we even call that ‘homecoming.’ ~ Frank Deford

This was our (the Super joined me) our first appearance at a live Cardinal athletic event since March 2019 with our girls basketball team at the state tournament in Williams Arena. We remember walking out of the arena, with our friend and Alex 1965 homecoming queen Kathy Skadsberg (we first watched the Hopkins girls team because her granddaughter started for them), thinking that all further games would be shut down that night. They were . . .

Before the Colts arrived in 1947, the best athlete in town was a woman duckpin bowler named Toots Barger. Football? The biggest games in Baltimore had been when Johns Hopkins took on Susquehanna or Franklin & Marshall at homecoming. ~ Frank Deford

September 24

So, the Super and I tried to get the booster vaccine this day at our clinic. We were told “no” (we’re still too young?). So, we checked with a local drug store and got an appointment for Monday. Apparently the medical underground leapt into action for our clinic called back and said they could give us the booster that afternoon! The whole city was so excited about that, they staged a big parade! Yes, this very afternoon!

[We missed the start of the parade, and thus the homecoming royalty, because we were getting the booster. For as some wag said when asked why he was wearing a mask, “It’s an IQ test” . . . ]

People crown kings and queens at homecoming parades all the time. We do a lot of things in our society that are simply symbolic. ~ Danny K. Davis

[“Da band” . . . ]

[Having a great season and just came off beating a previously unbeaten team . . . ]

[It’s become the parade of choice in Alexandria . . . ]

They say the neon (stop) lights are bright on Broadway . . . ~ Barry Mann / Cynthia Weil / Jerry Leiber / Mike Stoller

If you’re not in the parade, you watch the parade. That’s life. ~ Mike Ditka

I’m still passionately interested in what my fellow humans are up to. For me, a day spent monitoring the passing parade is a day well-spent. ~ Garry Trudeau

Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

[Well known man-about-town, bon vivant, retired teacher, retired bartender, retired B&B owner . . . ]

I tell you, if you’re in the front row of the parade and you stop walking, pretty soon you’re back in the tuba section. And if you want to lead the parade you’ve got to keep moving. ~ Phil McGraw

[Girls swim and dive team (I read their sign) . . . ]

[The other side of their sign . . . ]

If you wait for inspiration you’ll be standing on the corner after the parade is a mile down the street. ~ Ben Nicholas

[It’s nice to see “the kids” come back . . . ]

Some of us are like a shovel brigade that follow a parade down Main Street cleaning up. ~ Donald T. Regan

[Wrestling team (I read their sign) . . . ]

[Nice float, cool signs, but I don’t know who there are?]

[Boys soccer – I seem to recall they “won” best float . . . ]

[They are having a terrific season as well . . . ]

We will always have STEM with us. Some things will drop out of the public eye and will go away, but there will always be science, engineering, and technology. And there will always, always be mathematics. ~ Katherine Johnson

Today’s advanced STEM graduate could be tomorrow’s world-class, world-changing scientist. ~ Todd Park

[Deserving extended coverage – Mu Alpha Theta, anyone?]

[The girls cross country team is always highly ranked in the state . . . ]

[Of course, the parents have issues . . . ]

[New shoes are needed constantly!]

[I think that was Beetlejuice . . . ]

In the subprime mortgage industry, bankers handed out iffy loans like candy at a parade because such loans meant revenue and, hence, bonuses for executives in the here-and-now. ~ Thomas Frank

It’s a good day when a goddess gets on the school-bus with you. ~ Barry Lyga

[The volleyball team has been outstanding . . . ]

Volleyball is not like a formula so we must give players some freedom. ~ Karch Kiraly

Every volleyball player is a little bit psychopath, there are no normal people who would want to voluntarily dedicate their life to this sport. ~ Plamen Konstantinov, Bulgarian Coach

Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. ~  George Will

[Check out the size of these players . . . ]

[Versus the size of these players . . . ]

[Having arrived at the game, purchased our $5.00 dinner of a pulled pork sandwich, bag o’ chips, and bottle of water, we prepared for the arrival of the football team. It was beautiful, mid-50’s, strong wind – the Super was frozen by game’s end . . . ]

Our Cards were physically over-matched (check the weight charts on the rosters) but gave it a great run. The Spuds were undefeated Class 5A state champs last year and are undefeated this year. I think the Spuds running backs were bigger than our linemen, and that size mismatch really wore us down in the 2nd half. I came away with a new appreciation for Cardinal quarterback, Carter Steffensmeier . . .

[The Cards take the field . . . ]

You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want or wish to have at a later time. ~ Donald Rumsfeld

In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team. ~ Jean-Paul Satre

[The kickoff. If there was one area where the Cardinals had a clear advantage over the Spuds, it was in the kicking game. The Cards have two good place kickers – Daniel Jackson on kickoffs, and Miles Sansted for field goals and PAT’s (he warmed up during the half kicking 50-yard FG’s). For punting, the Spuds always did pooch kicks, not wanting to give Kristen Hoskins a chance to return . . . ]

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. ~ Erma Bombeck

[The Cards scored first after a Spuds turnover . . . ]

We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now. ~ Bruce Coslet

[The Cards could not run inside all game – our 200-pound linemen trying to block their 300-pound linemen . . . ]

You never lose a game if the opponent doesn’t score. ~ Darrell Royal

Football practice – – where men are men and necks are nothing. ~ Sam Taylor

It’s a no-win game for us. Although I suppose we can win by winning. ~ Gary Doherty

[Brain trust and players from the 2001 Cardinal team. Head coach Denny Kalpin on the left; Roger Johnson, member of the Fat Boys Walking Club, next to Kalpin . . . ]

I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. ~ Craig Ferguson

[Yup, a wild and exciting 1st quarter . . . ]

[The 2001 team awaiting halftime ceremonies . . . ]

[The wild game continued . . . ]

[Kristen Hoskins had two long TD receptions in the half . . . ]

[The Spuds never kicked to him. Next year he’ll be a Gopher. They appear to need him immediately . . . ]

The beautiful moments of football might be rare, but it is not surprising that they get a disproportionately large share of the attention. ~ Stephen Mumford

[Although it was a halfback handoff on this play, the only way to Cards could martriculate the ball down the field on the ground was when QB Carter Steffensmeier ran keepers or if Hoskins ran sweeps (generally turning them back to go the opposite direction) . . . ]

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture. ~ Elbert Hubbard

You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four. ~ Dan Birdwell

Football is, after all, a wonderful way to get rid of your aggressions without going to jail for it. ~ Heywood Hale Braun

I’m the football coach around here and don’t you remember it. ~ Bill Peterson.

[The hardest pass to complete is the receiver running parallel to and behind the line of scrimmage . . . ]

[Steffensmeier and Hoskins prove . . . ]

[Such is true. But these two did all they could to keep the Cards in the game . . . ]

I may be dumb, but I’m not stupid. ~ Terry Bradshaw

It’s ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that’s important. ~ Andy Rooney

It’s an unprecedented precedent. ~ Clark Carlisle.

[This play is a keeper touchdown by QB Steffensmeier (11) . . . ]

This helicopter flies overhead, probably taking pictures, and McMahon just moons it. He mooned the helicopter from the field. ~ William Perry.

We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking. ~ John McKay

The qualifications for a lineman are to be big and dumb. To be a back, you only have to be dumb. ~ Knute Rockne

I give the same halftime speech over and over. It works best when my players are better than the other coach’s players. ~ Chuck Mills

[Touchdown!]

[The Cardinal offensive linemen on this play weigh, respectively from the left: 245, 175, 213, and 185. The guy they were trying to block all game, No. 74, weighs 300 and will be playing for the Vikings some day . . . ]

[At the half, a very exciting game – the Cards were hanging in with big plays. The Spuds had a kickoff return for a TD and a pick-6 interception return . . . ]

[This also marked the 20th anniversary of the Cardinals great 2001 team. That was our first year in retirement back to Alex, so I thought this team was quite a treat.  We had several game breakers, almost any play could go all the way.  We went down to the game against Cretin-Durham Hall in St. Paul (we beat them in the tournament again the next year in Alex – they always had about 8 D1 players on their team).]

[Our QB, Keith Eckhoff (2nd from right), had a good basketball career at Concordia; our halfback, Brandon Strouth (in the middle, red jacket), started as the running back for North Dakota all 4 years; and wide receiver, Kyle Gearman (red jacket far right), starred at St. John’s, was recruited by Michigan State, got a try out with the Steelers, and worked summers at the AGC when “Weakie” was club president.]

Because homecoming came first, and there was the homecoming court. The five guys on homecoming court were disqualified from being in the prom court. So being prom king was being sixth most popular. ~ Andy Richter

[The “court” . . . ]

Remember that 1st game against Cretin-Durham Hall?

Remember that 2nd game against Cretin-Durham Hall?

Whadya have for breakfast this morning?

[I think we blocked 3 extra points and they missed on a 2-point attempt. The Cards had 2 long plays to begin the 2nd half but lost a fumble after the 2nd one. Moorhead controlled the rest of the game from then. It would have been interesting if we had scored on that 1st series if anything would have changed. Moorhead just wore us down with a big ground game and won 37 – 31 . . . ]

I never graduated from Iowa, but I was only there for two terms: Truman’s and Eisenhower’s. ~ Alex Karras

If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to go play on the freeway. It’s about the same. ~ Bob Golic

Up Next: Definitely not the Gophers . . .