May 3
I keep having people say, ‘Gee, it’s like we’re living in a Stephen King story.’ And my only response to that is, ‘I’m sorry.’ ~ Stephen King
Today we feature quotes about The Big Lie. No, not that Big Lie. The Big Life that computers were going to make our lives so much easier. I’ve been struggling to blog our South America trip (which ended some four months ago) in some sort of expeditious manner. Unfortunately, this computer often has other ideas. We have literally spent days trying unravel the latest attacks from Jewish space lasers and Italian satellites. Any computer updates beyond our control lead to long term recovery programs. I have twice “emptied” this computer of all programs and then re-installed everything. The common denominator in all these events is that it takes time to recover. I had to give up on stories about both our boys and girls basketball teams excelling in state tournaments. I haven’t been able to cover the usual entertainment features. Nevertheless, I will persist . . . ~ Me
There ain’t any answer, there ain’t going to be any answer, there never has been any answer, that’s the answer. ~ Gertrude Stein
December 29
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light. ~ Dave Barry
[Punta Arenas (historically known as Sandy Point in English) is the capital city of Chile’s southernmost region, Magallanes and Antarctica Chilena. Although officially renamed as Magallanes in 1927, the name was changed back to Punta Arenas in 1938. The city is the largest south of the 46th parallel south and the most populous southernmost city in Chile and the Americas. Due to its location, it is also the coldest coastal city with more than 100,000 inhabitants in Latin America. Punta Arenas is one of the world’s most southerly ports and serves as an Antarctic gateway city. Located on the Brunswick Peninsula, Punta Arenas is among the largest cities in Patagonia. In 2012, it had a population of 127,454. It is roughly 1,419 km (882 mi) from the coast of Antarctica and 635 km (395 mi) from Ushuaia, the capital of the Argentine province of Tierra Del Fuego (Wikipedia).]
Any fool can use a computer. Many do. ~ Ted Nelson
[Land, ho!]
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. ~ Edsger Dijkstra
[Why yes, our stateroom was situated amazingly close to the bridge . . . ]
The computer was born to solve problems that did not exist before. ~ Bill Gates
[We apparently beat out another cruise ship for pier docking rights . . . ]
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. ~ Rick Cook
[The helpful tug helps situate out boat . . . ]
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. ~ Emo Philips
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. ~ Isaac Asimov
[Moving into direct pier access as seen from our room . . . ]
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer. ~ Paul R. Ehrlich
[The view of the Jupiter from the land side . . . ]
The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim. ~ Edsger Dijkstra
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key. ~ Scott Adams
[A whale tail and the Super . . . ]
Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. ~ Donald Knuth
[And even more pictures of our boat . . . ]
A computer will do what you tell it to do, but that may be much different from what you had in mind. ~ Joseph Weizenbaum
Computer language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is. ~ Larry Wall
[Views from the shore side . . . ]
I think computer viruses should count as life. ~ Stephen Hawking
[Mariners monument to Magellan . . . ]
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy. ~ Joseph Conrad
[Ibid.]
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~ Arthur C. Clarke
The work “Circumnavigation”, by Francisco Gazitúa Costabal, constitutes a silent material testimony of Magellan’s journey, placing Punta Arenas as an important reference in the scientific history of humanity (https://elmagallanico.com/).]
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. ~ Pablo Picasso
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done. ~ Andy Rooney
[Cemetery of Punta Arenas Sara Braun is the public cemetery of the city of Punta Arenas, Chile. It is established on four hectares and is located in the northern area of the city, in Bulnes Avenue, between the streets Francisco Bilbao and Angamos. There are three entrances: the main entrance is in Bulnes Avenue, and two other entrances are in Francisco Bilbao and Angamos streets. Since the cemetery had long ago reached its capacity, it has been supplemented and largely replaced by a controversial newer cemetery further to the north of the city, though the earlier site retains its status as a “monument cemetery.” The cemetery has been ranked byCNN as one of the most beautiful cemeteries in the world. It was designated a National Monument of Chile in 2012 (Wikipedia).]
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ~ Doug Larson
The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell what a programmer is doing until it’s too late. ~ Seymour Cray
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it’s done. ~ Scott Adams
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it. ~ Brian Kernighan
The best way to predict the future is to invent it. ~ Alan Kay
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity. ~ Dennis Ritchie
If the automobile had followed the same development as the computer, a Rolls Royce would today cost $100 and get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year killing everyone inside. ~ Robert X. Cringely
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not tried it. ~ Donald Knuth
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That’s where we come in; we’re computer professionals. We cause accidents. ~ Nathaniel Borenstein
Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer. ~ Rita Mae Brown
Computer science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. ~ Edsger Dikjstra
It’s hardware that makes a machine fast. It’s software that makes a fast machine slow. ~ Craig Reucassel
I’m not anti-social. I’m just not social. ~ Woody Allen
[Adjacent to the Museum of Remembrance (following photos) . . . ]
There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third one works. ~ Alan Perlis
[The Museum of Remembrance of the University of Magallanes Instituto de la Patagonia displays examples of heritage buildings, old machinery and tools. They are part of an Open Museum, with high attendance and regional identity and a significant number of foreign visitors, especially during the spring, summer and autumn seasons. It has 8 heritage wooden buildings; 40 antique vehicles and transport of great historical value; machines; and innumerable tools, mainly associated with livestock and oil production (Wikipedia).]
If at first you don’t succeed, call an airstrike. ~ Banksy
[With the purpose of keeping its history alive, the Punta Arenas Museum of Memory displays objects from the days of the pioneers. Ancient carriages rest at the Instituto de la Patagonia lawn. They belong to the Museum of Memory, an institution that owns a collection of objects, machinery and tools dating back from the origins of the population of the region. The museum, which depends on the institute, was created in 1969 with the purpose of displaying and communicating the process of development of the area and its lifestyle since 1880, the days of pioneer colonization, until 1950. During its first years, the display contained about fifty pieces, including carts, carriages, locomotives and other mechanical means of transportation and labor, scattered about the lawn (https://interpatagonia.com/).]
I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs. ~ Maurice Wilkes
Unless in communicating with it one says exactly what one means, trouble is bound to result. ~ Alan Turing
The most amazing achievement of the computer software industry is its continuing cancellation of the steady and staggering gains made by the computer hardware industry. ~ Henry Petroski
Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. ~ Fred Brooks
There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult. ~ Tony Hoare
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. ~ Dick Brandon
First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII — and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we’ve realized it’s a brochure. ~ Douglas Adams
[Model unknown; did not appear to be local . . . ]
When someone says, “I want a programming language in which I need only say what I want done,” give him a lollipop. ~ Alan Perlis
No matter how slick the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved. ~ Mark Gibbs
The best way to predict the future is to study the past, or prognosticate. ~ Robert Kiyosaki
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You’d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men. ~ Isaac Asimov
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. ~ Popular Mechanics, 1949
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers. ~ Thomas Watson, IBM, 1943
I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won’t last out the year. ~ Prentice Hall, business books editor, 1957
[Early cinema . . . ]
But what … is it good for? ~ IBM engineer on the microchip, 1968
[Firefighter Monument . . . ]
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home. ~ Ken Olson, Digital Equipment Corp., 1977
[Monument to Immigrants . . . ]
This ‘telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us. ~ Western Union, 1876
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular? ~ David Sarnoff’s associates, 1920’s
[Street scene 1 . . . ]
Who the hell wants to hear actors talk? ~ H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers,1927
[Street scene 2 . . . ]
A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make. ~ Debbi Fields, Mrs. Fields’ Cookies
[Street scene 3 . . . ]
We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out. ~ Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
[The Sacred Heart Cathedral Cathedral also called Punta Arenas Cathedral and Sacred Heart of Jesus Parish, is a religious building of the Catholic Church which has a Renaissance tower that is dedicated to the order of the Salesians. Its construction began on December 28, 1892, on the plans made by the Father of the Salesian order Juan Bernabe (Wikipedia).]
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible. ~ Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895
[Virgin Mary statue, adjacent to the above cathedral . . . ]
If I had thought about it, I wouldn’t have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can’t do this. ~ Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M “Post-It” Notepads
So we went to Atari and said, ‘Hey, we’ve got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we’ll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we’ll come work for you.’ And they said, ‘No.’ So then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, ‘Hey, we don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.'” ~ Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak’s personal computer
Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools. ~ New York Times, editorial, 1921
[Sara Braun (17 December 1862 – 22 April 1955) was a Latvian-born Chilean businesswoman who became one of the principal employers in Patagonia. After emigrating with her family from the Russian Empire to escape persecution because of their Jewish heritage, the family toured Europe and then looked for work in Argentina and Paraguay, before moving to Magallanes, now known as Punta Arenas, in 1874. At the time of her death, Braun was mourned as a prominent citizen and philanthropist of Patagonia. Flags flew at half mast, businesses closed in her honor, and speeches were made by dignitaries. In addition to family members, Braun left over 15,000 shares of stock in the Exploitation Society to friends, servants, and acquaintances, who were involved in helping mitigate poverty, provide for underprivileged children or elders in need of care or were widows. She left outright stock donations to the various charities she had contributed to during her lifetime, as well as the San Juan de Dios Sanatorium of Viña del Mar; the Children’s Hospital of Valparaíso; and the Sacred Family Asylum in Punta Arenas. In 1981, Braun’s mansion, which had been purchased intact with furnishings upon her death by the Union Club of Punta Arenas, was declared a Historic Monument, known as the Palacio Sara Braun (Wikipedia).]
640K ought to be enough for anybody. ~ Bill Gates, 1981
[Monument to the explorer Ferdinand Magellan, located in the Plaza Munoz Gamero or Plaza de Armas in Punta Arenas, Chile. This square is a National Monument in the Typical Zone category. The great sculptural work of Magellan was inaugurated in November 1920 and its author is Guillermo Córdova. According to tradition, if the Fuegian Indian in the sculpture group has his hanging foot kissed, it will mean that he will return to this city one day (Wikipedia).]
Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction. ~ Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872 (and today’s MAGA)
Everything that can be invented has been invented. ~ Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899
[Entry into Palacio Sara Braun . . . ]
Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value. ~ Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre
Science is supposedly the method by which we stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. In computer science, we all are standing on each others’ feet. ~ G. Popek
I sit looking at this damn computer screen all day long, day in and day out, week after week, and think: Man, if I could just find the ‘on’ switch... ~ Zachary Good.
Foolproof systems don’t take into account the ingenuity of fools. ~ Gene Brown.
Remember, the problem is not that people are stupid; the problem is that modems are cheap. ~ Vince Sabio.
[We’ll leave you here with this selfie and will return with the rest of Punta Arenas in the next post . . . ]
The smiley is an attack on writers and readers alike. If it is funny, it doesn’t need a smiley. If is not funny, a smiley won’t help it. The smiley teaches writers that anything they write will pass as humor as long as it is punctuated properly. It teaches readers that they must ignore their better judgment, and look only at punctuation to determine intent. ~ Jim Showalter. (Editor’s note: I use smileys all the time, they’re efficient and fall within the realm of a picture is worth a thousand words.)
Microsoft has a new version out, Windows XP, which according to everybody is the ‘most reliable Windows ever’. To me, this is like saying that asparagus is ‘the most articulate vegetable ever’. ~ Dave Barry
Up Next: Day 10, Part 2 . . .
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