I’d love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair. ~ Bette Davis
The Salty Dogs were in the middle of our weekend troika of music. Saturday afternoon at Carlos Creek Winery with some of our close personal friends. Scattered thunderstorms were forecast creating a temperature inducement for some to wear jackets. Let the festivities begin . . .
[Annie, Greg, Erik and Tom . . . ]
Being baldpate is an unfailing sex magnet. ~ Telly Savalas
All a writer has to do to get a woman is to say he’s a writer. It’s an aphrodisiac. ~ Saul Bellow
[Fans arrive for a visit with Annie at break . . . ]
I never loved another person the way I loved myself. ~ Mae West
Ilove Mickey Mouse more than any woman I’ve ever known. ~ Walt Disney
Fly Me to the Moon
[The key to enjoyment of any outdoor activity is a substantive quantity of brownie bites.]
Hallelujah
Fans Of Salty Dogs
New Fans of Salty Dogs
New Fans With Purses of Salty Dogs were apparently shopping . . .
Pancho and Lefty
I knew nothing of the life of a real musician, of course, but somehow I seemed to see myself standing in front of great crowds of people, playing my accordion. ~ Lawrence Welk
[And Mr. Welk idolized Annie . . . ]
Do it again on the next verse, and people will think you meant it. ~ Chet Atkins
[Greg’s deft touch with the bow removed the arthropod from Erik’s pate . . . ]
Galway Girl
I’m a farmer with a mandolin and a high tenor voice. ~ Bill Monroe
[Mr. Monroe idolized Tom . . . ]
The future is much like the present, only longer. ~ Don Quisenberry
Chris is the engineer down at the studio where we do these things. And he’s just such an integral part and he has such a marvelous ear. Also it turns out, we didn’t know, but he’s a pretty good fiddle player. ~ Guy Clark
[Mr. Atkins idolized Erik . . . ]
[Mr. Clark idolized Greg . . . ]
Music is my mistress, and she plays second fiddle to no one. ~ Duke Ellington
One day, an army of gray–haired women may quietly take over the earth. ~ Glorida Steinem
Is a man’s bald head any more attractive than a woman’s graying one? Is a man’s potbelly sexier than a woman’s flabby thighs? ~ Susan Jacoby
Was having fun, fun, fun till the Super took the T-bird awaaayyyyyy . . .
When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in a confederacy against him. ~ Jonathan Swift
The summer music season debuted at the Legacy of the Lakes Gardens. Kudos to the Education Foundation for “landing this big fish” for the opener. The Fabulous Armadillos, from St. Cloud, have been a mainstay of the Central Minnesota music scene for 15 years. And like the Energizer bunny, they just keep going and going . . .
[The morning full moon was a portent of a wonderful evening to come . . . ]
[The gates opened at 6:00 for the 7:00 concert. The Super and I arrived at 5:50 only discover “thousands” of people were there before us. Nevertheless, we and our traveling music companions, Karin & Dave, were delighted with our “seat” location . . . ]
[Panorama of the crowd from the back . . . ]
[Panorama of the crowd from the front . . . ]
[You can see Ruthie center left with my empty chair next to her . . . ]
[The crowd had initially had been limited to 350 according to protocols. I’m not sure of the final numbers, but it looked like the Education Foundation did good . . . ]
[The potential for rain was wafting through the air, but it turned out to be a lovely evening requiring light jackets by the end . . . ]
[Our loge seating . . . ]
[These were the true “front row” seats . . . ]
[Christine Reilly, Executive Director of the Alexandria Education Foundation, thanked the crowd for their attendance . . . ]
Established in 2002 the Alexandria Education Foundation is an independent non-profit 501(c)3 organization dedicated to the continued academic excellence of Alexandria Public Schools. We partner with Alexandria Public Schools to provide financial support for unique learning experiences for students in early childhood education through grade 12. The Alexandria Education Foundation (AEF) supports educational excellence and a passion for learning by partnering with our community. Our focus is on funding projects above and beyond the scope of the state budget and local tax dollars. Funds raised will directly impact students through grants to classroom teachers and other funded projects that help support initiatives that further the mission and educational goals of the School District (AEF website).
The Fabulous Armadillos came out of their shell in 2006 and have since established a large and loyal following in Central Minnesota with their spot on recreations of songs from many genres of music from Country to Motown to Heavy Metal to 70’s Soft Rock and do them just like you remember. Close your eyes and you are listening to all those vinyl records again or your AM/FM radio. The idea of the Fabulous Armadillos started with a diverse group of musicians who came together to perform “themed” concerts at the Pioneer Place On Fifth Theater in St. Cloud, MN. Themes like “One Hit Wonders”, “Woodstock”, “Motown”, “Singer/Songwriters”, “Stadium Rock” and more. They have now played over 100’s of themes at that theater as well as many regional venues in the Midwest and even in Mexico! Each show gaining them new fans and enjoying their brand of fun and entertaining, yet musically spot on performances. They have brought hundreds of special guests in for their theme shows comprising of local and national talent. The FABULOUS ARMADILLOS PARTY BAND features musicians with a deep history with some great regional and national bands from their past including Greg “Gary D.” Armstrong on keys (GB Leighton, Bobby Vee and The Vees, Heartbeat), Paul “Stretch” Diethelm on guitar (Jonny Lang, Slip Twister, Greystone Rockers), Chris Hawkey (Chris Hawkey Band, KFAN Morning Show Host) on vocals , Pamela Helmer McNeill on vocals (Pamela McNeill Band, Rumours and Dreams, Lamont Cranston) Mike Zeleny on bass (Airtight, Slip Twister, Greystone Rockers). Jay O’Donnell on drums (The Britton Brothers, Slip Twister, Greystone Rockers). Their 8 piece band also features a horn section with Pat Thorn on trumpet and Mike Krietzer on saxophone. COME OUT OF YOUR SHELL and see what everybody has been talking about! (fabulousarmadillos.com)
[Pamela Helmer McNeill . . . ]
My friends joke that I’m dead until I get onstage. I’m dead right now as you’re speaking to me. ~ Lady Gaga
[“Stretch” . . . ]
For those of you inthe cheap seats I’d like ya to clap your hands to this one; the rest of you can just rattle your jewelry! ~ John Lennon (although I recall Harry Belafonte saying that during his Carnegie Hall concert)
The bravest thing David Bowie ever did was to go on stage after Queen at Live Aid. ~ Stewart Stafford
I’m afraid concerts spoil people for everyday life. ~ L. M. Montgomery
[“Gary D.” . . . ]
Liberace was certainly master and commander of the ivories ~ he is the only pianist I can watch or listen to without suffering a case of ‘Stagefright Sympathy Sickness’. ~ E. A. Bucchianeri
[Always on the lookout for the rain that never comes . . . ]
I’m much more energetic now; you might say live performance is my mission. ~ John Fogerty
Get out of your house and go see some live performance, for God’s sake. There are people creating things just outside your window. ~ Maria Bamford
The adrenaline of a live performance is unlike anything in film or theater. I can see why it’s so addictive. ~ Gwyneth Paltrow
[Keep an eye out for activities on the side lines . . . ]
When you have a live performance, you’re going to be pitchy here and there, unless you have perfect pitch. ~ Mya
[The Super greets some old friends . . . ]
I have no idea why a guy would bring a jar of peanut butter to a concert. ~ Iggy Pop
[A little jammin’ . . . ]
I Hate Myself for Loving You
[Rain keeps holding off . . . ]
A concert is my experimentation time. I practice playing something several different ways, but in a concert, inevitably I get more ideas onstage, in that combination of focus and adrenaline, than I could ever get in the practice room. ~ Hilary Hahn
Believe me when I say this: you can’t please everyone in concert, even though I still want to. Someone always wants you to sing a song that isn’t necessarily on your set list. ~ Gladys Knight
Heavenly shades of night are falling, it’s Twilight Time . . .
I do not try to dance better than anyone else. I only try to dance better than myself. ~ Mikhail Baryshnikov
Never give a sword to a man who can’t dance. ~ Confucious
Part of the joy of dancing is conversation.Trouble is, some men can’t talk and dance at the same time. ~ Ginger Rogers
[As we continued into the long summer night, we gave a one-time thanks for the drought conditions which meant mosquitoes were not an issue . . . ]
[With Mike and Julie, champion line dancers, in the foreground, we cell-phoned candled adieu to the band.]
[And we leave you with Karin, Nicole, and the Super on the dance floor with many thanks again to the Armadillos.]
Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance. ~ Dave Barry
As we were walking out a friend asked if I had danced. I noted there’s a long time axiom that white guys can’t dance so I (who has never been given a sword) felt no need to get out there and prove it. OK, there are a few who can, including my questioner, but they are the exceptions that prove the rule. It plays out over the course of a 3-hour concert where it becomes almost a women only arrangement on the dance floor. ~ Me
On this day, Juneteenth became a national holiday, and Juneteenth opened the season at Theatre L’Homme Dieu . . .
Juneteenth has never been a celebration of victory or an acceptance of the way things are. It’s a celebration of progress. It’s an affirmation that despite the most painful parts of our history, change is possible—and there is still so much work to do. ~ Barack Obama
My people have a country of their own to go to if they choose… Africa… but, this America belongs to them just as much as it does to any of the white race… in some ways even more so, because they gave the sweat of their brow and their blood in slavery so that many parts of America could become prosperous and recognized in the world. ~ Josephine Baker
[The morning of Juneteenth, the Fat Boys ambled upon Bradley, a fellow class of ’65er, on the Central Lakes Trail. The self-appellated ‘Ancient Geek’ will make another cameo appearance at the end of this screed . . . ]
[Later that morning, the Super was introduced to her new computer concocted by ‘Rock’, a fellow original member of the Fat Boys Walking Club . . . ]
And then it was on to Carlos Creek Wineryfor an afternoon of great music with Patchouli . . .
[Not my photo – on loan from Patchouli . . . ]
[Ruthie’s shot . . . ]
[The view from the second row seats . . . ]
Romance is a love affair in other than domestic surroundings. ~ Walter Raleigh
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important. ~ Bertrand Russell
[Uninvited . . . ]
[But still a guest . . . ]
[With eyes for Karin’s chapeau . . . ]
[Karin and the Super visit with Julie on a break . . . ]
[Julie and Bruce . . . ]
[Complete strangers somehow managed to usurp our usual front row seats. Appropriate legal documents have been filed . . . ]
I wish Frank Sinatra would just shut up and sing. ~ Lauren Bacall
There is more simplicity in the man who eats caviar on impulse than in the man who eats grapenuts on principle. ~ G. K. Chesterton
Never play cards with a man named Doc. ~ Nelson Algren
I’d like to live like a poor man with lots of money. ~ Pablo Picasso
[We bid adieu early to ready for the theatre . . . ]
[On the road to Theatre L’Homme Dieu for the season premiere – Juneteenth . . . ]
[Along County Road 42, the scenic drive between Lake Carlos on the left . . . ]
[And Lake Le Homme Dieu on the right . . . ]
[The beautiful afternoon weather created record crowds at Rotary Beach . . . ]
The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was a succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Everything you see, I owe to spaghetti. ~ Sophia Loren
Welcome to our 2021 Season … Return To Wonder!
We’re back — after a unique 2020 season we return to the wonder and amazement of a full season at Theatre L’Homme Dieu!
Join TLHD in celebrating the holiday through food and music. The Reminders will be performing and participating in an all black panel where we’ll discuss and educate our predominantly white community on the importance of Juneteenth and discuss some of the important issues within the black community.
Change from previous info: The Food Truck and DJ will be outside. All other events will be INSIDE the Theater. REGISTER & GET TICKETS
Here’s the schedule for the evening of June 19th: MORE INFO
4:15 – 5:30 Music Intro from The Reminders, then joined by local community members for an all-black Panel to discuss the importance of Juneteenth and important issues in the black community.
5:30 – 7:00 Break / Dinner – Jamaican Food Truck and DJ Shando will be spinning! (Food is the consumer expense)
7:30 – The Reminders – in Concert!
This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through grants from the Lake Region Arts Council, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the Arts and Cultural Heritage fund.
[Above is the entry to TLHD; below is Juneteenth panel of Big Samir, Josette Ciceron, and Aja Black . . . ]
[The above photo was the Super’s opening salvo; beneath is mine of theatre executive director Nicole Mulder introducing Jo as the host of the Juneteenth discussion . . . ]
Freeing yourself was one thing, claiming ownershipof that freed self was another. ~ Toni Morrison
In the end, anti-black, anti-female, and all forms of discrimination are equivalent to the same thing: anti-humanism. ~ Shirley Chisholm
[The panel discussed much that was new to me, and I’m sure to many in the audience, about things Juneteenth and the music of The Reminders. Aja explained that hip-hop and rap originated in the neighborhoods of the Bronx when the school systems eliminated the arts from the curricula to concentrate on STEM programs. It was very interesting . . . ]
I had crossed the line. I was free; but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land. ~ Harriet Tubman
Hip hop as both a musical genre and a culture was formed during the 1970s when block parties became increasingly popular in New York City, particularly among African American youth residing in the Bronx. At block parties DJs played percussive breaks of popular songs using two turntables and a DJ mixer to be able to play breaks from two copies of the same record, alternating from one to the other and extending the “break”. Hip hop’s early evolution occurred as sampling technology and drum machines became widely available and affordable. Turntablist techniques such as scratching and beatmatching developed along with the breaks and Jamaican toasting, a chanting vocal style, was used over the beats. Rapping developed as a vocal style in which the artist speaks or chants along rhythmically with an instrumental or synthesized beat (Wikipedia).
[Aja noted she likes all music, except (and asked the audience to guess) . . . I think it was scream metal, but I’m not familiar with the term so I’m guessing . . . ]
I hate women because they always know where things are. ~ James Thurber
It is fun being in the same decade as you. ~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt to Winston Churchill
Be grateful for luck. Pay the thunder no mind – listen to the birds. And don’t hate nobody. ~ Eubie Blake
And a woman is only a woman,but a good cigar is a smoke. ~ Rudyard Kipling
A woman’s guess is much more accurate than a man’s certainty. ~ Rudyard Kipling
The reason husbands and wives do not understand each other is because they belong to different sexes. ~ Dorothy Dix
Conscience: the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking. ~ H. L. Mencken
[Often seen at the same entertainment venues . . . ]
[Two guys caught wandering the property without proper credentials . . . ]
You notice all kinds of things in the dressing room. Like people who put on their shoes and socks before their undershirt. Things you don’t really want to know. ~ Robin Herman
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. ~ George Burns
[The view from the lobby . . . ]
Many’s the long night I’ve dreamed of cheese – toasted mostly. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
The Reminders are a rare and remarkable musical duo seamlessly blending soulful sounds and roots music with insightful messages and thoughtful lyrics. The group consists of Brussels-born emcee Big Samir and Queens-born emcee/ vocalist Aja Black, a collective creative force that’s hard to beat. Big Samir weaves intricate rhythmic patterns with a bilingual French/English flow, displaying his street-smart credibility in both his lyrics and cool demeanor. This is beautifully complimented by Aja Black’s confident delivery, diverse cadences, and unique vocal stylings. The two have an undeniable magical chemistry as they share more than lyrical abilities and stages; the couple shares a partnership in both music and life as Samir and Aja have been married for almost a decade. (The Reminders website . . . )
Hip-hop is the streets. Hip-hop is a couple of elements that it comes from back in the days… that feel of music with urgency that speaks to you. It speaks to your livelihood and it’s not compromised. It’s blunt. It’s raw, straight off the street – from the beat to the voice to the words. ~ Nas
Hip-hop is supposed to uplift and create, to educate people on a larger level and to make a change. ~ Doug E. Fresh
The thing about hip-hop today is it’s smart, it’s insightful. The way they can communicate a complex message in a very short space is remarkable. ~ Barack Obama
Well, hip-hop is what makes the world go around. ~ Snoop Dogg
You may kill me with your hatefulness. But still, like air, I’ll rise. ~ Maya Angelou
Anybody under the age of forty knows hip-hop, gospel and R&B pretty well, and it’s all a part of what we consider to be ‘black music.’ There is a natural synergy between the three. ~ John Legend
Women who fought and sacrificed so much for equality and liberty and just for all, including Black women who are often, too often overlooked, but so often prove they are the backbone of our democracy. ~ Kamala Harris
I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free… so other people would be also free. ~ Rosa Parks
Curtain! Fast music! Light! Ready for the last finale! Great! The show looks good, the show looks good! ~ Florenz Ziegfeld
[The drive home sunset over Lake Carlos . . . ]
[And then past the wedding party premiering the new patio at the Alexandria Golf Club.]
June 20
[It rained Sunday (and the ducks flew south, how many shingles are on the dog’s house?). Father’s Day. We really needed it, but it messed up a lot of holiday plans. Our friend Anthony was performing the winery, generally an outside venue. But, the brewery is where he was . . . ]
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~ Katherine Hepburn
A man alwaysremembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he tends to bunch them. ~ H. L. Mencken
[The Super checking to see if other fans would be joining us . . . ]
[And then the queen and king of Ashby arrived . . . ]
The important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think if my sex life. ~ Glenda Jackson
[Following Piano Man protocol, Helen and Ruthie put bread in his jar . . . ]
Maybe I’m doing itwrong. ~ Randy Newman
It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. ~ Abraham Lincoln
June 21
[Here’s Bradley reprising his cameo at the top of this monologue. It’s our monthly nosh-out for three (four, when he’s in state) members of the Alex Class of ’65. We’re at the Alexandria Golf Club . . . ]
[All enduring the classic high school boys’ diet plan: Burger, fries, and a coke. Mayo ordered a side order of everything to go on his burger . . . ]
I phoned my dad to tell him I quit smoking. He called me a quitter. ~ Steven Pearl
[The Super was checking in on us with her bridge group . . . ]
I married beneath me. All women do. ~ Lady Astor
All life is six to five against. ~ Damon Runyon
No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite. ~ Nelson Mandela
What dreadful hot weather we have! It keeps me in a continual state of inelegance. ~ JaneAusten
This was the most uncomfortable day of about a week’s worth of 90-degree plus weather. A former Alexandrian came home from New Orleans to discover it was 15 degrees hotter here.But we had been living pretty much a normal post-pandemic life for about the last three weeks and that would continue unabated . . .
[The Super arrived at a House Party featuring blues singer Joyann Parker, with Mark Lemoine . . . ]
[Said performers . . . ]
I get by with a little help from my friends. ~ John Lennon
I’drather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun. ~ Billy Joel
There are two kinds of artists left: those who endorse Pepsi and those who simply won’t. ~ Annie Lennox
Once whenasked how I would like to be remembered, I answered, ‘As someone who opened doors.’ ~ Dave Brubeck
If a man whistles at you, do not respond. You are a lady, not a dog. ~ Adele
My sole inspiration is a telephonecall from a produce. ~ Cole Porter
I’m one of those regular weird people. ~ Janis Joplin
It was always the view of my parents…that hot weather encouraged loose morals among young people. ~ Ian McEwan
Hot weather brings out snakes and slaveholders, and I like one class of the venomous creatures as little as I do the other. ~ Harriet Ann Jacobs
Good weather all week, but come the weekend, and theweather stinks. When the weather is too hot, they complain; too cold, they complain; and when it’s just right, they’re watching TV.~ Rita Rudner
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. ~ Charles D. Warner
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawnmower is broken. ~ James Dent
Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life. ~ Ludwig van Beethoven.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. ~ G.K. Chesterton
I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play. ~ Artur Schnabel
There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. ~ Albert Schweitzer
When people ask me what ‘American Pie’ means, I tell them it means I don’t ever have to work again if I don’t want to. ~ Don McLean
‘It isn’t hot, brother,’ comforted a war correspondent just back from Ethiopia, ‘until the chair gets up when you do!’ ~ Walter Winchell
[Thanks be to our photoed hosts . . . ]
Somebody just gave me a shower radio. Thanks a lot. Do you really want music in the shower? I guess there’s no better place to dance than a slick surface next to a glass door. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
[Again, many thanks to Mary Lou, John, and family . . . ]
I would rather write 10,000 notes than a single letter of the alphabet. ~ Ludwig van Beethoven
I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June. ~ L.M. Montgomery
The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between. ~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
[This looks like always June . . . ]
Joyann and her band will be performing at the Legacy of the Lakes Gardens on August 13, 6:30-8:30 . . .
The Night Before . . .
An evening at The Garden Bar with Tuesday Night Club – Terry, Jim, Bill, and Al . . .
I’ve been imitated so well I’ve heard people copy my mistakes. ~ Jimi Hendrix
Money doesn’t talk, it swears. ~ Bob Dylan
There’s nothing like the eureka moment of knocking off a song that didn’t exist before – I won’t compare it to sex, but it lasts longer. ~ Paul McCartney
Let me be clear about this: I don’t have a drug problem, I have a police problem. ~ Keith Richards
[We’re slowly returning to pre-pandemic normal as the regular crown shuffles in . . . ]
In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of. ~ Robert Schumann
I never practice my guitar… from time to time I just open the case and throw in a piece of raw meat. ~ Wes Montgomery
Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal. ~ Igor Stravinsky
Life can’t be all bad when for ten dollars you can buy all the Beethoven sonatas and listen to them for ten years. ~ William F. Buckley, Jr.
I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. ~ George Burns
Earlier that morning . . .
[The Fat Boys begin their morning walks at 7:00 from Big Ole. A half hour later we’re on the other side of Lake Agnes looking back at the city . . . ]
[The shirt worn on that morning walk reflects the limited 2020 season for Theatre L’Homme Dieu – this was our debut outdoor concert then . . . ]
What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. ~ John Steinbeck
Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which billsmust be paid. ~ Frank Zappa
The Fat Boys didn’t show up for the morning walk from Big Ole. I guess they forgot the old Tom Hanks paraphrase: There are no holidays in retirement! That means I was legally and morally obligated to go for a walk with the Super and the Tasmanian Devils . . .
[The Super saddles up the Rolls Royce of kittymobiles . . .]
To err is human, to purr is feline. ~ Robert Byrne
If cats could write history, their history would be mostly about cats. ~ Eugen Weber
[As we pull away to the west, our association disappears in the rear view mirror . . . ]
In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this. ~ Terry Pratchett
[Every view of water throughout is of Lake H2Obert from the west side of the lake . . . ]
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer. ~ Paula Poundstone
[A cutback through a church parking lot to see how the Devils are doing . . . ]
Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience. ~ Pam Brown
When Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time. ~ Seanan McGuire
I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days. ~ Bill Dana
As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the humankind. ~ Cleveland Amory
I gave my cats a bath the other day … they love it. He sat there, he enjoyed it, it was fun for me. The fur would stick to my tongue, but other than that… ~ Steve Martin
The phrase ‘domestic cat’ is an oxymoron. ~ George Will
[Coming back home by way of the lakeside . . . ]
No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. ~ Leo Dworken
[That’s the cats’ home on the right side of the duplex – they let us live there too . . . ]
[Home again on the patio . . . ]
There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. ~ Dan Greenberg
[Ruthie made this panorama . . . ]
BONUS COVERAGE – at no extra charge, the Super’s flowers from today
If you think squash is a competitive activity, try flower arranging. ~ Alan Bennett
Even if you think the Big Bang created the stars, don’t you wonder who sent the flowers? ~ Robert Brault
If you want to say it with flowers, remember that a single rose screams in your face: ‘I’m cheap!’ ~ Delta Burke
Bee to the blossom, moth to the flame; Each to his passion; what’s in a name? ~ Helen Hunt Jackson
Aerodynamically, the bumble bee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumble bee doesn’t know it so it goes on flying anyway. ~ Mary Kay Ash
At my age flowers scare me. ~ George Burns
The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. ~ Demetri Martin
I sent my flowers across the hall to Mrs. Nixon but her husband remembered what a Democrat I am and sent them back. ~ Bette Davis
If you look at somebody like Sam Bee, she got to create her own thing without any expectations that there was a show there. That was probably liberating for them. ~ Larry Wilmore
What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. ~ Doug Larson
Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic, and so am I. ~ Oscar Levant
People talk about mumblecore but I prefer bumblecore, hyper-realistic bee movies about how bees really are. ~ Mindy Kaling
Britain’s most useful role is somewhere between bee and dinosaur. ~ Harold MacMillan
I love, for example, ‘Full Frontal with Sam Bee.’ I just love her show. ~ Mick Foley
I think I’m a somewhat nervous bee who just wants to conform. Which, I guess, is common in bees. ~ Mathew Broderick
Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them. ~ A. A. Milne
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf. ~ Lewis Mumford
I hate flowers—I paint them because they’re cheaper than models and they don’t move. ~ Georgia O’Keeffe
Meanwhile, back at the Coronado Springs Villa & Gardens . . .
[The Super came down the water slide . . . ]
[Then I came down the slide . . . ]
[There wasn’t enough water to keep me moving – a kid slid into me from behind . . . ]
A reminder of where we were coming out of Part I:
FLORIDA TRIP – March 20 -31, 1999
Day 1: To Charleston, SC – 8 1/2 hours (525 miles)
Day 2: To Orlando, FL Arrive St. Augustine – 4 1/2 hours (285 miles) – 1 hour stay Arrive Kennedy Space Center – 3 hour stay Arrive Orlando – 6 3/4 hours from St. Augustine (175 miles)
Day 3: Disney – Epcot, Norway dinner, fireworks
Day 4: Disney – Magic Kingdom
Day 5: Disney – Animal Kingdom
Day 6: Disney – MGM
Day 7: To New Port Richey – 2 1/2 hours (110 miles) New Port Richey Beach
Day 8: Friday Final Four practice – drove Outer Banks from Clearwater to Ft. De Soto – dinner @ Columbia in Ybor City (oldest restaurant in FL since 1905 (still going 2021))
Day 9: Around St. Petersburg
Day 10: Clearwater Beach – Dolphin boat
Day 11: Same as above
Day 12: To Fayetteville, NC – 13 1/4 hours (660 miles) – stops @ Jekyll Island & Hilton Head
Day 13: Arrive home – 5 hours (307 miles)
MGM
From the pancake house I drive directly to the county morgue. The contrast is not especially striking. ~ Carl Hiaasen
[Looks like a nice place for a nosh, but I don’t remember it . . . ]
He paused and manufactured a chuckle. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts. ~ Lt. Frank Drebin
If I’m not back in five minutes, just wait longer. ~ Ace Ventura
My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. ~ Dave Barry
How come you never see a headline like ‘Psychic Wins Lottery’? ~ Jay Leno
Miami … the floating-human-body-parts capital of America. ~ Carl Hiaasen
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! ~ Wanda (Jamie Lee Curtis)
My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne. ~ Tina Fey
Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow just as well. ~ Mark Twain
St. Petersburg
As noted in our trip log, technically from Orlando to New Port Richey (where we stayed for the Final Four), 2 1/2 hours over 110 miles. The daily trip from New Port Richey to Tampa-St. Pete was a horrific trip of 40 miles of stoplights and strip malls . . . ]
Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. ~ Oscar Wilde
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read. ~ Groucho Marx
The victim’s hand was contracted into a fist except for the middle digit, which was rigidly extended. ~ Carl Hiaasen
The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions. That’s from Emerson . . . ~ Carl Hiaasen
We get along fine. In return for food and shelter, they give me unconditional indifference. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Love isn’t about thinking. You should know that by now. ~ Carl Hiaasen
She awoke with renewed certainty that Carl Jung was full of shit. ~ Carl Hiaasen
[That first day we drove the Outer Banks from Clearwater to Ft. De Soto . . . ]
[To the Final Four . . . ]
[I’ve been to 26 Final Fours. The first was in Philadelphia in 1976 when Indiana became the last team to finish an undefeated season. Our last Final Four was in Indianapolis in 2010. We eventually learned it was much easier and more comfortable to watch the game at home on a big screen TV sitting in a Lazy Boy . . . ]
I have warned many times about the guaranteed dangers of betting with your heart instead of your head – big darkness, soon come – but every once in a while you get a fair chance to have it both ways, and the annual NCAA basketball Tournament is one of them. ~ Hunter S. Thompson
The NCAA is one of the worst organizations – maybe the worst organization – in sports. They certainly don’t care about the athlete. ~ Stan Van Gundy
[ESPN, made famous by Final Fours, here with Dick Vitale and Digger Phelps . . . ]
The one thing that saved me is that in 17 years of coaching I never had an NCAA investigator talk to one of my players. I lost games, but I lost the right way. ~ Lee Corso
I got some cash from agents. I’ve talked to the NCAA. I think that should be legal. I want some money, too; everybody else is making money. I want to go on dates. I want to go buy myself some new suits. I want to buy myself some new sneakers, and I paid the agents back. ~ Charles Barkley
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. ~ Mark Twain
[I have no memories whatsoever of this tournament. I don’t even remember being in Tropicana Field, the most loathed major league baseball stadium. This is one of two Final Fours Basketball Dan missed over the last 60-some years – even he recalled that Connecticut won in 1999. He was right, they beat Duke. The other two teams were Ohio State and Michigan State. Duh! . . . ]
If you make every game a life-and-death proposition, you’re going to have problems. For one thing, you’ll be dead a lot. ~ Dean Smith
[Why it makes no sense to watch a basketball game in a football stadium . . . ]
They have all those McDonald’s All-Americas. We have four guys on our team who don’t even have a McDonald’s in their town. ~ Rick Majerus
Florida cop claims Burger King put dirt on his food – investigation revealed it was seasoning. ~ New York Daily News
[That evening we went to Ybor City for Cuban dining at Columbia, the oldest restaurant in Florida, since 1905 and still going in 2021 . . . ]
[I wore the shirt I purchased at the Rainforest Cafe at Disney, and that shirt is still in my summer rotation to this day. Always the fashion trend setter . . . ]
[Dolphin boat rides out of Clearwater Beach . . . ]
[The Pittsburgh Pirates arrive for spring training . . . ]
Thousands of gun owners in Florida planning to ‘shoot down’ Hurricane Irma. ~ INDEPENDENT
Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. ~ Carl Hiaasen
I’m waiting for the day when Rush Limbaugh’s pharmacist writes a book. ~ Carl Hiaasen
There’s nothing wrong with you that an expensive operation can’t prolong. ~ Graham Chapman, Monty Python’s Flying Circus
You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ~ Dave Barry (Mr. Barry, incidentally, is exactly 2 months and one day older than me)
There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. ~ Mindy Kaling
[Voted number one in a poll as most obvious tourists . . . ]
It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin. ~ Dave Barry
I married an asshole, she thought, knifing into the waves. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. ~ Dave Barry
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. ~ Dave Barry
The real threat to whales is whaling, which has endangered many whale species. ~ Dave Barry
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet. ~ Dave Barry
[This was neither Ruthie nor I, but some poor guy from Iowa who believed in the old axiom that if your life bores you, risk it . . . ]
The detective had moved to Fort Lauderdale from St. Paul because his wife had inexplicably yearned to experience humidity. ~ Carl Hiaasen
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. ~ Dave Barry
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. ~ Dave Barry
Since the medical board was made up mostly of other doctors, Rudy Graveline had fully expected exoneration–physicians stick together like shit on a shoe. ~ Carl Hiaasen
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. ~ Dave Barry
Buck stared incredulously. “This is the first time you ever fired a gun? And you live in Florida?” ~ Carl Hiaasen
The dog proved to be as dumb and stubborn as a mud fence, so Stranahan had named him Strom. ~ Carl Hiaasen
People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. ~ Dave Barry
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around. ~ Dave Barry
The message, never stated but avuncularly implied, is that America’s values ought to reflect those of the Walt Disney Company and not the other way around. ~ Carl Hiaasen
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. ~ Dave Barry
Detective Karl Rolvaag belonged in the Midwest. This he knew in his heart, and he was reminded of it every day when he went to work. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Florida needs a special prison for tourists. Not all tourists—just the ones who trash the place, rob, shoplift, vandalize, drive drunk, assault the cops, puke in the alleys, pee in the medians, and so on. ~ Carl Hiaasen
We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth. ~ Dave Barry
[On the road again (in my 1998 Ford Expedition purchased to deal with Minnesota winters in our retirement two years hence). We’re heading to Jekyll Island . . . ]
[Jekyll Island is located off the coast of Georgia, in Glynn County. It is one of the Sea Islands and one of the Golden Isles of Georgia barrier islands. The island is owned by the State of Georgia and run by a self-sustaining, self-governing body. At the end of November 1910, . . . a secret meeting to plan the country’s monetary policy and banking system, formulating during the meeting the Federal Reserve as America’s next central bank. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta, the 1910 Jekyll Island meeting resulted in draft legislation for the creation of a U.S. central bank. Parts of this draft (the Aldrich plan) were incorporated into the 1913 Federal Reserve Act (Wikipedia).]
Have you noticed that whatever sport you’re trying to learn, some earnest person is always telling you to keep your knees bent? ~ Dave Barry
“A well-regulated militia,” Bode added, “like they talk about in the Second Amendment.” “Oh,” said Shiner. He hadn’t read the first one yet. ~ Carl Hiaasen
I’ve always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something. ~ Carl Hiaasen
It’s easy to get distracted by the vaudevillian aspects of the healthcare debate. ~ Carl Hiaasen
In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid. ~ Dave Barry
And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West. ~ Dave Barry
That’s what people do when they find a special place that wild and full of life, they trample it to death. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Well, that’s about it, for now . . . ~ Ruthie
[Back home to Arlington, Virginia and our aged children, Lily and Woody . . . ]
[Who would both retire to Minnesota with us.]
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from this review is that I should have begun shaving my head before we went on this trip. ~ Me
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. ~ Dave Barry
Why? Because you never know what you’ll find when you’re looking for something else. In this case, the log of our 1999 road trip from Washington, D.C. (where we were living at the time) to Florida. The only reason for visiting Florida was for the NCAA Men’s Final Four basketball tournament being hosted in Tampa Bay that year. Then we discovered that Florida was also the home of Disney World. We had previously been advised that the two places one must visit in one’s lifetime were Disney World (or Disneyland) and the Corn Palace in Mitchell, South Dakota. And so we were off. There was also the possibility this would be our last trip ever because Y2K was looming at the end of the year. I must warn you, however, this is the first of a two-part series . . .
FLORIDA TRIP – March 20 -31, 1999
Day 1: To Charleston, SC – 8 1/2 hours (525 miles)
Day 2: To Orlando, FL Arrive St. Augustine – 4 1/2 hours (285 miles) – 1 hour stay Arrive Kennedy Space Center – 3 hour stay Arrive Orlando – 6 3/4 hours from St. Augustine (175 miles)
Day 3: Disney – Epcot, Norway dinner, fireworks
Day 4: Disney – Magic Kingdom
Day 5: Disney – Animal Kingdom
Day 6: Disney – MGM
Day 7: To New Port Richey – 2 1/2 hours (110 miles) New Port Richey Beach
Day 8: Friday Final Four practice – drove Outer Banks from Clearwater to Ft. De Soto – dinner @ Columbia in Ybor City (oldest restaurant in FL since 1905 (still going 2021))
Day 9: Around St. Petersburg
Day 10: Clearwater Beach – Dolphin boat
Day 11: Same as above
Day 12: To Fayetteville, NC – 13 1/4 hours (660 miles) – stops @ Jekyll Island & Hilton Head
Day 13: Arrive home – 5 hours (307 miles)
Total miles – 2507.9
Charleston
[To reconstruct a trip from 22 years ago with nothing more than where we were on each day is beyond difficult. I’m not sure how much Google research I’m willing to put in to identify all the photos contained herein. For example, I could not identify this church without Wikipedia, which told me Philip’s Church is an historic church at 142 Church Street in Charleston, South Carolina. Its National Historic Landmark description states: “Built in 1836 (spire completed in 1850), this stuccoed brick church features an imposing tower designed in the Wren-Gibbs tradition . . . ]
[I was subsequently released on my own recognizance, but I can no longer vote in the majority of states . . . ]
South Carolina is too small for a republic and too large for an insane asylum. ~ James L. Petigru
South Carolina is not a state; it is a cult. ~ Pat Conroy
Charleston is one of the best built, handsomest, and most agreeable cities that I have ever seen. ~ Marquis de Lafayette
Walking the streets of Charleston in the late afternoons of August was like walking through gauze or inhaling damaged silk. ~ Pat Conroy
No city could be more beautiful than Charleston during the brief reign of azaleas, no city on earth. ~ Pat Conroy
During the settling of the American colonies, it was said that the Spaniards would first build a church, the Dutch would first build a fort and the English a tavern. Welcome to Charleston, an English colony founded in 1670. ~ Mark R. Jones
Charleston is not the center of the universe, but it should be. That is the persistent perception of many locals. ~ Mark R. Jones
I’m going back to dignity and grace. I’m going back to Charleston, where I belong. ~ Rhett Butler
[On my own recognizance . . . ]
It is a matter of common knowledge that the government of South Carolina is under domination of a small ring of cunning, conniving men. ~ Strom Thurmond
St. Augustine
[The Bridge of Lions is a double-leaf bascule bridge that spans the Intracoastal Waterway in St. Augustine, Florida, United States. A part of State Road A1A, it connects downtown St. Augustine to Anastasia Island across Matanzas Bay (Wikipedia).]
[The Old City Gates are a striking site toward the north end of St. George Street. The Old City Gates were at one time the only entrance into St. Augustine. The two ancient columns made of stone were built in 1808 as a line of defense for the city (trolleytours.com).]
A tourist is a fellow who drives thousands of miles so he can be photographed standing in front of his car. ~ Emile Ganest
It should be illegal to yell ‘Y2K’ in a crowded economy. ~ Larry Wall
How could this Y2K be a problem in a country where we have Intel and Microsoft? ~ Al Gore
[The Castillo de San Marcos (Spanish for “St. Mark’s Castle”) is the oldest masonry fort in the continental United States; it is located on the western shore of Matanzas Bay in the city of St. Augustine, Florida. The construction of the core of the current fortress was completed in 1695, though it would undergo many alterations and renovations over the centuries (Wikipedia).]
There is only one problem in taking a winter vacation in Florida. You spend two weeks getting a deep, rich, golden tan— then they hand you the bill and you’re pale again. ~ Robert Orben
Two things Florida can teach the other 49 states: how to make good margarita and how to deal with the aftermath of a hurricane. ~ Tom Feeney
I like Florida. Everything is in the ’80s. The temperatures, the ages, and the IQs. ~ George Carlin
Kennedy Space Center
That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind. ~ Neil Armstrong
The Earth is the cradle of humanity, but mankind cannot stay in the cradle forever. ~ Konstantin Tsiolkovsky
Space is for everybody. It’s not just for a few people in science or math, or for a select group of astronauts. That’s our new frontier out there, and it’s everybody’s business to know about space. ~ Christa McAuliffe
I know the sky is not the limit because there are footprints on the Moon — and I made some of them! ~ Buzz Aldrin
It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. ~ Neil Armstrong
Anyone who sits on top of the largest hydrogen-oxygen fueled system in the world, knowing they’re going to light the bottom, and doesn’t get a little worried, does not fully understand the situation. ~ John Young
One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…..Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist. ~ Stephen Hawking
When forced to summarize the general theory of relativity in one sentence: Time and space and gravitation have no separate existence from matter. ~ Albert Einstein
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe. ~ Albert Einstein
For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. ~ Carl Sagan
By denying scientific principles, one may maintain any paradox. ~ Galileo Galilei
My goal is simple. It is a complete understanding of the universe, why it is as it is and why it exists at all. ~ Stephen Hawking
[The Saturn V Rocket, one of Arthur C. Clarke’s 7 Wonders of the World, the most powerful machine ever built by man . . . ]
Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity – distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. ~ Douglas Adams
DisneyWorld
[A tourist arrives at the Coronado Springs Villa and Gardens . . . ]
Walt Disney World is nearly 30,000 acres or 48 square miles. That is more than 80 times the size of Monaco. Grace Kelly would have been queen of a larger and wealthier kingdom if she’d married Uncle Walt instead of Prince Rainier. ~ Eve Zibart
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
It’s always sunny in the sunshine state. Except for at night. ~ Jarod Kintz
It’s Florida. Hair is just an extra sweater I’m force to wear. ~ Emma Gonzalez
A lot of people stop short. They don’t actually die but they say, “Right I’m old, and I’m going to retire,” and then they dwindle into nothing. They go off to Florida and become jolly boring. ~ Mark Wesley
A prosthetic leg with a Willie Nelson bumper sticker washed ashore on the beach, which meant it was Florida. Then it got weird. ~ Tm Dorsey
Epcot
They call Florida the “Sunshine State,” which is funny because in the twelve years I lived here, it was only sunny for like twenty minutes – when the eye of the hurricane passed over my house. ~ Seth Lyon
I love baseball. I’ll probably end up one of those old farts who go to spring training in Florida every year and drive from game to game all day. ~ Steve Earle
I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks. ~ Emo Philips
We are not exposed to ice much in Florida. ~ Brittany Bowe
August in Florida is God’s way of reminding us who’s in charge. ~ Blaize Clement
There was, I think, never any reason to believe in any innate superiority of the male, except his superior muscle. ~ Bertrand Russell
[I believe this is where we noshed . . . ]
When the Mayan Calendar runs out there will be another day. Just like there was with Y2K. ~ Stanley Victor Paskavich
Give me the storm and tempest of thought and action, rather than the dead calm of ignorance and faith! Banish me from Eden when you will; but first let me eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge! ~Robert Green Ingersoll
Of all the places in the world, she belongs in Florida. How dispiriting to learn this of herself. ~ Lauren Groff
He says Florida is slowly sinking, sinking into the ocean. He says the housing tracts are built on half facts and the rest half fiction. ~ Less Than Jake, The State Of Florida
The first rule of hurricane coverage is that every broadcast must begin with palm trees bending in the wind. ~ Carl Hiaasen
I couldn’t adjust to the racism in Florida. It was so blatant . . . I had never been so described as Florida described me. ~ Sidney Poitier
[One of these two is a crash test dummy . . . ]
[(The other is just a dummy . . . )]
Usually, the news out of Florida makes me feel like being black in Florida can be a terminal condition. ~ W. Kamau Bell
One thing about living in South Florida is that everywhere you go is violently air-conditioned. ~ Katie Cotugno
The Florida in my novels is not as seedy as the real Florida. It’s hard to stay ahead of the curve. Every time I write a scene that is the sickest thing I have ever dreamed up, it is surpassed by something that happens in real life. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Disney world is an armpit, compared to Montana!! ~ Carl Hiaasen
Magic Kingdom
The Y2K problem is not caused by technical limitations. We simply forgot to think of the problem. ~ Hasso Plattner
The wealth of south Florida, but even more important, the meaning and significance of south Florida lies in the black muck of the Everglades and the inevitable development of this country to be the great tropic agricultural center of the world. ~ Marjory Stoneman Douglas
Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice. ~ Carl Hiaasen (the Super is a fan)
There are no other Everglades in the world. They are, they have always been, one of the unique regions of the earth; remote, never wholly known. Nothing anywhere else is like them. ~ Marjory Stoneman Douglas
In Florida, to buy a gun, you do not need a permit, you do not need a gun license, and once you buy it, you do not need to register it. You do not need a permit to carry a concealed rifle or shotgun. You can buy as many guns as you want at one time. ~ Emma Gonzalez
I actually was there down in Florida when Prince did ‘Purple Rain’ in the rain. He was out there with the guitar goin’. It was absolutely awesome. ~ Joe Mauer
Florida isn’t so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found. ~ Douglas Coupland
I learned very quickly there’s not a lot to do in South Florida when you can’t golf or fish. ~ Justin Thomas
He wondered if something was mentally wrong with him for being content with what he had. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Nobody said he was Alvin Einstein. ~ Carl Hiaasen
Florida Man is responsible for a large percentage of abnormal incidents that occur in Florida. Think of him as an alt-right Johnny Appleseed. No one knows his true identity, date of birth, what he looks like. That’s why headlines always say, “Florida Man.” ~ Darius in Atlanta
I think in the old days, the nexus of weirdness ran through southern California, and to a degree New York City. I think it’s changed so that every bizarre story in the country now has a Florida connection. I don’t know why except it must be some inversion of magnetic poles or something. ~ Carl Hiaasen
[Pink flamingos – why not?]
Animal Kingdom
If anything is more irresistible than Jesus, it’s Mickey. ~ Carl Hiaasen
[The Rainforest Cafe – a great place to meet elephants . . . ]
[And now for a tour of animals not from this hemisphere. To tour this place, likely even more than the other venues, one is advised to arrive as early as possible . . . ]
It’s not palm trees and neon signs in Florida; it’s strip malls, highways, hot sun beating down on you. ~ Patty Jenkins
Old people in Florida, they drive slow and they sit low. Right? That is their motto. The stage flag of Florida should be like a steering wheel with a hat and two knuckles on it. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes I think I’ve figured out some order in the universe, but then I find myself in Florida. ~ Susan Orlean
The one thing I did learn at Florida State, I learned to talk trash, believe that. ~ Randy Moss
[We really were greeted with an early morning roar . . . ]
There are so many colorful characters in Florida. There’s a lot of money, development – not all of it good – and corruption. ~ John Grisham
Wade tried to imagine Florida before the advent of man, but couldn’t. The landscape seemed too thoroughly colonized – the trailers, factory outlets, and cocktail shacks of the world below. He decided that if human beings took over the moon, they’d probably just turn it into Florida. ~ Douglas Coupland
With swamps and alligators inland, and the gated communities and shopping malls in the traffic-clotted towns along the coasts, the state seems to Stern like a giant penal colony for America’s elderly, where the residents–like characters in a famous play–have all been blinded by the sun and do not realize they are actually in hell. ~ Scott Turow
You’re from Florida. There’s got to be more holes to hell in Florida than in any other state. ~ T. Kingfisher
Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ~ Rick Riordan
The general intellectual level of South Florida is somewhere just above “functionally retarded”. ~ Tucker Max
Remember that Florida is a land of weirdos and bizarre happenings, and conduct yourselves accordingly. ~ Jeff Zentner
I hate hiking with convicts carrying machetes. ~ Susan Orlean
You could step on a gator and the next thing you know is ouch. ~ Nick Smith
While living in Florida I realized that I could never stay there, because it’s so damn hot. There’s only like three months when you don’t feel like you’re on the cusp of hell. ~ Jennifer L. Armentrout
The post-traumatic shock from living in Florida never goes away, yet part of me is forever attached to that eccentric, heat-infested swamp. ~ Jennifer Harrison
If insanity was a side effect of Botox, every Floridian over the age of forty would be nuts. Who says they’re not? ~ Margot Hunt
Natives of the Florida Keys often refer to themselves as Conchs, and for good reason: They have been drinking. ~ Dave Barry
Do you always carry a gun? It’s Florida, even Mickey Mouse probably carries a piece. ~ Brian Freeman
This is Florida, where they’re cool about putting people to death. ~ Patricia Enge
Under Florida’s “stand your ground” law, it is legal to shoot anybody for any reason as long as you are standing on the ground. ~ Dave Barry
As a bureaucracy becomes more established, it develops its own career structure. It is less dependent, and should be less dependent, on individual personalities. Absolutely no one is indispensable. ~ John Scarlett
Hi! Do you know us? We’re federal employees. Absolutely none of us are indispensable. And because of that, this country didn’t lapse into anarchy in the last couple years when many of us were summarily dismissed from our positions . . .
I stumbled upon these photos while doing ‘deep’ background on something else. This was February 1999. It was a retirement party for Ethel Miller (the lady in black), who was my immediate supervisor at the time. We were in the Office of Government Contracts, Wage and Hour Division, Employment Standards Administration, U.S. Department of Labor (well, it is the government). Specifically we oversaw the compensation for, at that time, 2 million employees of government service contractors. Got it?
[Surprisingly, I still recognize all these people. I don’t remember all the names, but I remember all the faces. Blogging seemed to be the best way to distribute the pictures to everyone . . . ]
[Several of the people contained herein were also, at one time or another, my immediate supervisors . . . ]
[I have no idea why I would need such a variety of supervisors?]
[Everybody liked Ethel. People came from other agencies, other departments. What fun!]
I have an institutional fear of big government. I have an institutional opposition to bureaucracy. ~ Rush Limbaugh
In most legislatures, punctilious attention to correct usage is considered elitist. The word ‘government,’ for example, is normally pronounced ‘gummint’; bureaucracy is ‘bureaucacy’; fiscal comes out ‘physical,’ and one moves not to suspend the rules, but to ‘suppend.’ ~ Molly Ivins
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou
The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. ~ Abe Lemons
Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.~ Dr. Seuss
It is better to live rich than to die rich. ~ Samuel Johnson
[This was us. I think Tim (2nd from left) took over as the supervisor after Ethel . . . ]
[I worked with a lot of these folks for a long time. A lot of the people I came in with were gone. I started to think it was getting time for me to go. I did, two years later . . . ]
[This is Ethel and her crew. During the whole time we were together, at no time did the fascists or Commies take over our government! And every Friday, we’d all go to lunch together – usually at the Hyatt, a little over a block away and where the C-SPAN studios were . . .]
[The hugger and I are still in contact, many years into retirement . . . ]
[These two were part of a group that went to ride all the roller coasters at Hershey Park, shortly before I retired . . . ]
[We’ve lost Bo; Vanessa (on the right) went on to become labor relations advisor for the Army Corps of Engineers . . . ]
[Ethel, Vanessa, and Doug, one of our lead attorneys who sends informational (and silly) emails on a regular basis . . . ]
Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work. ~ Clarence Darrow
[TJ and Clarence (on the right) were with our agency the whole I was there . . . ]
[As were Jessie and Mary (2nd & 3rd from left) . . . ]
[Bill was my whole career bud, who at one time was also my first line supervisor. We go on cruises together in our senior years . . . ]
[Terry, also a career long bud, who was the long time manager of our historic agency softball team . . . ]
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law. ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. ~ George Burns
When men reach theirsixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. ~ Gail Sheehy
[I believe this event took place at Hogate’s. At the time it was a bellwether restaurant on the Washington, D.C. waterfront. I believe it is no longer there as that whole area has undergone an extensive makeover.]
UNITED STATES – SEPTEMBER 20: Hogates on the DC waterfront. (Photo By Tom Williams/Roll Call/Getty Images)
I wanted to have more time to play and reflect, but I find retirement more stressful than having a nice, steady job because I have to make decisions about where I want to be. ~ Walter Cronkite
Up Next: Who knows what’s left to be discovered in the archives.
Because even if I should speak, no one would believe me. And they would not believe me precisely because they would know that what I said was true. ~ James Baldwin
I’m in the midst of simultaneously reading Caste and The Code Breakers. Both, of course, are beyond my usual comprehension level so I may as well double the fun. I thoroughly enjoy the subject material and the writing in both – so I take my time trying to absorb as much as I can. I thought I’d share some of my favorite quotes from these tomes as I ramble through the excitement of everyday life in Vacationland USA . . .
May 14
[Friday night with Anthony at Willy T’s at the Holiday Inn . . . ]
[We joined the Bergs (the Trumms had to bow out) for an evening of music and dining . . . ]
I will show you. If I want to do science, I am going to do it. ~ Jennifer Doudna
The scientist does not study nature because it is useful. He studies it because he takes pleasure in it, and he takes pleasure in it because it is beautiful. ~ Henri Poincare
To other countries, I may go as a tourist, but to India I come as a pilgrim. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.
When we speak of the race problem in America, what we really mean is the caste system and the problems which that caste system creates in America. ~ Ashley Montagu
[Looking south, across Lake H2Obert, upon arriving home . . . ]
I was kind of a nerdy, geeky type. And I loved math. People teased me about it. I felt pretty much like an outcast. ~ Jennifer Doudna
Why did God make me an outcast and a stranger in mine own house? ~ W.E.B. Du Bois
I know. In fact, I am never wrong. ~ Oscar Wilde
May 15
[Minnesota’s fishing opener, a day revered in the history of humankind . . . ]
[And here are some early fishers . . . ]
All one needs to write a story is one feeling and four walls. ~ Doris Betts
In Ireland or Italy, whatever social or racial identities these people might have possessed, being White wasn’t one of them. ~ Ian Haney Lopez
No one was white before he/she came to America. ~ James Baldwin
A wonderful bird is the pelican. His bill will hold more than his belican. He can take in his beak food enough for a week. But I’m damned if I see how the helican. ~ Dixon Lanier Merritt
Race is a social concept, not a scientific one. ~ J. Craig Venter
Americans cling to race as the unschooled cling to superstition. ~ Nell Irvin Painter
The more we know, the more we realize there is to know. ~ Jennifer Doudna
The idea of race was, in fact, the deliberate creation of an exploiting class seeking to maintain and defend its privileges against what was profitably regarded as an inferior caste. ~ Ashley Montagu
January 6 was a reflection of the realization that democracy could bring about the demise of the American caste system. ~ Me
May 16
[Sunday breakfast at the Alexandria Golf Club overlooking the deck renovation and the practice putting green . . . ]
I think that for a lot of women there’s a subtle but unfortunately effective discouragement of women pursuing the STEM fields. ~ Jennifer Doudna (and the Super!)
[No waiting for a table; great exterior ambiance – what’s not to like? (It is open to the public, people!)
[The bucolic 9th green from the clubhouse restaurant . . . ]
[The bucolic sausage & eggs, toast & potatoes from the clubhouse restaurant . . . ]
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. ~ A.A.Milne
A sickness known as hate; not a virus, not a microbe, not a germ…but a sickness nonetheless, highly contagious, deadly in its effects. Don’t look for it in the Twilight Zone…look for it in a mirror. Look for it before the light goes out altogether. ~ Rod Serling, “I Am the Night — Color Me Black”
[Leaving the club, shooting past the 5th green . . . ]
[Anthony survived his performance at Willy T’s Friday night. But since he was performing again at the winery on Sunday, rather than driving back to the Cities he decided to go to his sister’s in Battle Lake. He was concerned about deer driving (without licenses) at night. Wrong species for concern – he hit a raccoon. The vehicular damage was such he had to have his sister pick him up at the crash site near Ashby. He offered no report on the raccoon, but we assume the worst. Although he has not yet arrived on the winery stage, he was physically fine . . . ]
[The wine tasting table for the new cabernet sauvignon . . . ]
[The kegs not likely full of the new cab . . . ]
Go gays. You can’t win a championship without gays on your team. It’s pretty much never been done before ever. Science, right there. To be gay and fabulous during Pride month at the World Cup is nice. ~ Megan Rapinoe
[Here’s-s-s-s-s-s-s, Anthony!]
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. ~ Tiger Woods
If the majority knew of the root of this evil, then the road to its cure would not be long. ~ Albert Einstein
Social media was invented as part of a plot to undermine the faith of sensible people in freedom of speech. ~ Michael Deacon
Up Next: There is always the possibility this is the very last one . . .
I really haven’t had an opportunity to do any “cub reporting” during the year of the pandemic. It’s time to shake off the rust. Unfortunately, I only batted .500 for the week as we had six “events” on the calendar but were only able to cover three of them. It may be that time of life where doctor, chiropractor, dentist, physical therapist , et al, appointments begin to intrude on life’s pleasures . . .
May 5
[The Alexandria Golf Club (AGC), with the deck and patio being prepped for a 100th anniversary makeover . . . ]
[The first get together of the Wednesday Night Fine Dining Club at the AGC. In honor of the season debut, club chefs Pat and Karen donated this salad for our approval as a regular menu item . . . ]
[The first night group – not all are available to join us yet . . . ]
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~ Henny Youngman
Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine. ~ Karl Marx
[Yep, gonna be a REALLY big year . . . ]
May 7
Rachael Ianiro led off three consecutive days of solo artists at Carlos Creek Winery. I’m including a YouTube video of each as they all are favorites and will be making several appearances at CCW this year . . .
[Rachael was performing in the 22 Northmen Brewing Co. at the winery . . . ]
[She is from Detroit Lakes, about 90 miles north of Alex . . . ]
Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. ~ Joan Collins
Better is old wine than new, and old friends like-wise. ~ Charles Kingsley
May 8
[Elsa Lee at the winery’s outdoor stage. She is recording under Elska. Elska, she explained, is a girl’s name meaning “love.” In Old Norse and some modern Nordic languages,Elska means “love” or “to love.”]
[Looking sharp in her Joe Biden avaitor sunglasses . . . ]
[Mindful of another time she played the winery when we all froze. We don’t know how she played the piano?]
[She is originally from Duluth, but now lives in Minneapolis . . . ]
I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite. ~ Bette Midler
[With our usual partners, Karin and Dave . . . ]
Voted most likely to some day be arrested for having too much fun . . .
Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy. ~ Frank Sinatra
[The ladies sitting behind photobombed us . . . ]
[For further explanation, refer to the Sinatra quote . . . ]
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Benjamin Franklin
Too much of anything is bad, but too much of champagne is just right. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
[I believe Elsa was smiling in response to that quote. Fitzgerald, of course, was also a Minnesotan . . . ]
[Her latest CD of all original music . . . ]
[On Monday “the babies”, a/k/a, the Tasmanian Devils, enjoyed listening to Elsa’s CD.]
May 9
Mother’s Day – here is the card from “the babies” to the Super. We had planned a big day, brunch at the golf club, Josie Nelson at the winery, and then book club. None came to fruition as the Super and I were taken aback by something that physically didn’t agree with us . . .
For reasons of our long time association, we felt we still owed Josie her due . . .
[Josie singing an original song by Josie Nelson, of Alexandria . . . ]
[Josie in the early years as a young teen . . . ]
[And now as someone about the enter medical school at the University of Minnesota.]
[Josie singing an original song by another Minnesotan, goes by the name Bob Dylan.]
May 10
Scenes from our bedroom window, on a beautiful spring evening . . .
May 11
OK, this is event number 7. It arrived before I completed the blog post, so I may as well include it. It was a Tuesday night – thus Tuesday Night Club was performing at the Garden Bar.
[Tuesday Night always includes Terry Kennedy on guitar, generally Bill Riggs on trumpet, Al Lieffort now joining in from New London on a regular basis with a variety of musical instruments and his vocal cords, and now the seasonally available Jim Faber on bass and vocal cords . . . ]
[The aforementioned Jim . . . ]
I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry. ~ Robert Benchley
I drink to make other people more interesting. ~ Ernest Hemmingway
[The aforementioned Al, with a mandolin on this evening . . . ]
[The aforementioned Bill . . . ]
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. ~ Louis Pasteur
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