October 21
Don’t worry too much! ~ Keith Richards
Yes, still in catch up mode. ~ Me
[Back in the day as a Speedo model, Fenwick Island, Delaware, 1963, body surfing with my Delaware cousins. The photo was taken by their mother which is why I’m missing the top half of my head. Aunt Louise, the first woman state senator in Delaware, was apparently noted for her ability to not quite capture the entire head in photographs . . . ]
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy”. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. ~ John Lennon
August 29
Puffballs are distinguished from other mushroom groups by the fact that they lack many of the features or characteristics that other common mushrooms possess. A puffball has no stem. It has no cap. And no external gills. All of the spores are produced inside of the fruiting body. (adirondackalmanack.com/)
[I thought Harvey had brought a Neanderthal skull to the gym that morning . . . ]
September 1
Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated. ~ Lou Holtz
[The Alexandria Cardinals opened the 2023 football season by hosting the Chaska Hawks on a beautiful day in Vacationland USA . . . ]
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. ~ Fran Lebowitz
[And it was Mom & Dad Day . . . ]
There are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team’s goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted, either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. ~ Alfred Hitchcock
[The Ever Amazing Mr. Ripley . . . ]
If the Super Bowl is really the ultimate game, why do they play it again next year? ~ Duane Thomas
[A sign from above?]
You guys line up alphabetically by height. ~ Bill Peterson
[Chaska, a suburb of Minneapolis, had allowed an average of only 11 points a game over the last 4 years. Granted, high school teams graduate players every year, but there’s always a lewacy carryover . . . ]
The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. ~ Phyllis Diller
[We knew the Cards would have at least a couple “high-value” players in 6’8″ quarterback Chase Thompson (No. 12) and placekicker Daniel Jackson (No. 9) . . . ]
If I drop dead tomorrow, at least I’ll know I died in good health. ~ Bum Phillips
[When Alex scored touchdowns on its first five possessions we got the idea this could be a really special season . . . ]
I don’t know whether I prefer Astroturf to grass. I never smoked Astroturf. ~ Joe Namath
[Jackson’s opening kickoff – the first of almost all that go through the end zone . . . ]
Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? ~ Jim Bouton
[The first play from scrimmage of the season – Chaska held to a short gain . . . ]
You need 1 yard. Run the ball. Run the ball! ~ Richard Sherman
Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. ~ Alfred Hitchcock
[A Jackson PAT . . . ]
Most football players are temperamental. That’s 90 percent temper and 10 percent mental. ~ Doug Plank
Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck. ~ Don Shula
[Chase on a rollout . . . ]
When you’re good at something, you’ll tell everyone. When you’re great at something, they’ll tell you. ~ Walter Payton
Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. ~ John Heisman
[Running back Andrew Flaten (No. 28) scores . . . ]
We can’t run. We can’t pass. We can’t stop the run. We can’t stop the pass. We can’t kick. Other than that, we’re just not a very good football team right now. ~ Bruce Coslet
When I went to Catholic high school in Philadelphia, we just had one coach for football and basketball. He took all of us who turned out and had us run through a forest. The ones who ran into the trees were on the football team. ~ George Raveling
[Follow the flight of a Jackson kickoff with the Chaska returners. Going . . . ]
If you’re mad at your kid, you can either raise him to be a nose tackle or send him out to play on the freeway. It’s about the same. ~ Bob Golic
[Going . . . ]
Do you know my favorite part about the game is? The opportunity to play. ~ Mike Singletary
[Gone . . . ]
It’s ridiculous for a country to get all worked up about a game—except the Super Bowl, of course. Now that’s important. ~ Andy Rooney
No one has ever drowned in sweat. ~ Lou Holtz
[The sequence of a quick out . . . ]
Pressure is something you feel when you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. ~ Peyton Manning
The fewer rules a coach has, the fewer rules there are for players to break. ~ John Madden
Great football coaches have the vision to see, the faith to believe, the courage to do—and 25 great players. ~ Marv Levy
I feel like I’m the best, but you’re not going to get me to say that. ~ Jerry Rice
Don’t worry about it. It’s just a bunch of guys with an odd-shaped ball. ~ Bill Parcells
In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
[Another PAT . . . ]
The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it. ~ Billy Crystal
On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, We want Youngman! We want Youngman! The coach says, Youngman – go see what they want! ~ Henny Youngman
I did play two years of high school football and was very short and uncoordinated but the second year I was very tall and skinny and very uncoordinated. ~ Kyle Chandler
High school football in Detroit was not easy at all. There were talented players everywhere. ~ Antonio Gates
[And the final score . . . ]
September 4
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’ ~ Jerry Seinfeld
[Happy Birthday to me!]
Put candles in a cake, it’s a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody’s drunk in the kitchen. ~ Jim Gaffigan
[Photos with my collective booty . . . ]
I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don’t have to respect anybody. ~ George Burns
[A Southern Virginia writer championed by my Southern Virginia brother and as a gift from my Washington, D.C. sister . . . ]
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~ Truman Capote
[Laddie enjoying a piece of birthday paraphernalia . . . ]
The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it. ~ Doris Day
[Birthday excitement with Anthony Miltich at Lure Lakebar . . . ]
Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
[Anthony joined us for some pre-performance scuttlebutt . . . ]
If you survive long enough, you’re revered-rather like an old building. ~ Katherine Hepburn
[Here comes the champagne . . . ]
From our birthday, until we die, is but the winking of an eye. ~ William Butler Yeats
I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So, I got a cake! ~ Mitch Hedberg
[Just a group of regular people who enjoy a taste of the bubbly . . . ]
It’s sad to grow old, but nice to ripen. ~ Brigitte Bardot
Why is a birthday cake the only food you can blow on and spit on and everybody rushes to get a piece? ~ Bobby Kelton
Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don’t really know. ~ Andy Borowitz
[An assistant women’s basketball coach from St. Ben’s was there scouting the event . . . ]
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. ~ Ogden Nash
[Thanks, Anthony!]
You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book. ~ Will Ferrell
September 7
We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics. ~ William (“Bill”) Vaughn
[Tom McDermott plays Scott Joplin at a Theatre L’Homme Dieu shindig to thank its donors and patrons . . . ]
I feel a very unusual sensation – if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude. ~ Benjamin Disraeli
[Just a group of regular people who happen to like ragtime . . . ]
Though I am grateful for the blessings of wealth, it hasn’t changed who I am. My feet are still on the ground. I’m just wearing better shoes. ~ Oprah Winfrey
[Even more regular people . . . ]
So long, and thanks for all the fish. ~ Douglas Adams
[A plethora of regular people . . . ]
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~ Mark Twain
[Some regular people even enjoyed from the theatre seats . . . ]
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ~ Woody Allen
[And now the thanks from theatre hierarchy . . . ]
Some people are always grumbling because roses have thorns; I am thankful that thorns have roses. ~ Alphonse Karr
Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I’d like to express my thanks – I’ve got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night. ~ Irving Berlin
[Gotcha three times Nicole!]
So on this day of reflection I say again, thank you for going on this journey with me. I’ll see you at the movies. ~ Roger Ebert
[Theatre operations manager Sidney Imsande . . . ]
Life is short, wear your party pants. ~ Loretta LaRoche
[Theatre board member Michael Tisserand . . . ]
Parties are the nightly ritual of the sophisticated society. ~ Dominick Dunne
[Thanks for bringing in Mr. McDermott . . . ]
It’s not about going to a party. It’s life as a party. ~ Diane Von Furstenberg
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. ~ Katharine Hepburn
[Regular people reflected in the shiny piano . . . ]
Never miss a party…good for the nerves–like celery. ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald
Hear no evil, speak no evil, and you won’t be invited to cocktail parties. ~ Oscar Wilde
[Ruth’s photo of Tom McDermott . . . ]
Life is a party. Dress for it. ~ Audrey Hepburn
Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party. ~ Robin Williams
In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured. ~ Gordon B. Hinckley
[He was a true joy (OK, I will admit to having visited the Scott Joplin house in St. Louis) . . . ]
At every party there are two kinds of people – those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. ~ Ann Landers
[The Super joins in as a member of the regular people . . . ]
The best parties are the ones you never want to end. ~ Beyoncé
September 9
I’d rather get a hot dog or a doughnut than write a song. ~ John Prine
[Saturday mornings always begin with . . . ]
Don t play this piece fast. It is never right to play ragtime fast. ~ Scott Joplin
Ragtime was my lullaby. ~ Hoagy Carmichael
One day the ‘Maple Leaf’ will make me King of Ragtime Composers. ~ Scott Joplin
Up Next: The never ending supply of events long past . . .
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