Run for the Roses

May 30

Civilization is drugs, alcohol, engines of war, prostitution, machines and machine slaves, low wages, bad food, bad taste, prisons, reformatories, lunatic asylums, divorce, perversion, brutal sports, suicides, infanticide, cinema, quackery, demagogy, strikes, lockouts, revolutions, putsches, colonization, electric chairs, guillotines, sabotage, floods, famine, disease, gangsters, money barons, horse racing, fashion shows, poodle dogs, chow dogs, Siamese cats, condoms, peccaries, syphilis, gonorrhea, insanity, neuroses, etc., etc. ~ Henry Miller

This was the annual spring fundraiser for Theatre L’Homme Dieu (TLHD). It always coincides with the Kentucky Derby (I am not a horseracing fan – nor am I a fan of auto racing. I do, however, reach a level of excitement over turtle racing.) After six years of being a TLHD board member, I was, unlike members of SCOTUS, term limited. It may be because of that that I totally forgot to process these photos until a month after the event. Uff da! But the event was fun, as usual, and we look forward to another summer of great entertainment at the theatre. In other news, I have now completed my 36 sessions of cardiac rehab and plan on hitting the trail with the Fat Boys Walking Club asap . . . ~ Me

There is only one thing we do know and that is that we do not know anything. ~ Gertrude Atherton

May 6

Once they witnessed one of his painting sold at auction for $100,000. And asked how you do it, he said, ‘I feel as a horse must feel when the beautiful cup is given to the jockey.’ ~ Edgar Degas

[The Grand Hall at Carlos Creek Winery was once again the venue . . . ]

The reason I wanted to become an organ player was because I heard Ray Charles play on Quincy Jones’ arrangement of “One Mint Julep.”  ~ Booker T. Jones

[The Salty Dogs provided the entertainment . . . ]

If you’d asked me at 30 where I’d be during the Masters when I was 46, I’d have pictured myself on a boat fishing, smoking a cigar, drinking a mint julep and watching it on television. ~ Jack Nicklaus

[The bar, necessary for such occasions . . . ]

I am not one of the people who believe that the main reason why a chap becomes a bookmaker is because he is too scared to steal and too heavy to become a jockey. ~ Noel Whitcomb

[The set up, including the big screen for the horse race . . . ]

I wanted to be a jockey. I’m serious. First time I got on a horse, I loved it. That’s what I wanted to be, but my dad asked me to start performing with my family. ~ Janet Jackson

I was too heavy to be a jockey and too honest to be a producer, so I became a writer. ~ Leon Uris

[Janet and Becky, in charge of the things that need being in charged of . . . ]

Actors are the jockeys of literature. Others supply the horses, the plays, and we simply make them run. ~ Ralph Richardson

That the mounds of ices, and the bowls of mint-julep and sherry cobbler they make in these latitudes, are refreshments never to be thought of afterwards, in summer, by those who would preserve contented minds. ~ Charles Dickens

[The usual suspects at our table . . . ]

I’m lucky because I have an athlete between my legs. ~ Willie Carson

[The Salty Dogs doing sound checks . . . ]

I have no intention of watching undersized Englishmen perched on horses with matchstick legs race along courses planned to amuse Nell Gwynn. ~ Gilbert Harding

[The “hat ladies” at the bar . . . ]

From the circumstances of my position, I was often thrown into the society of horse-racers, card-players, fox-hunters, scientific and professional men, and of dignified men; and many a time have I asked myself, in the enthusiastic moment of the death of a fox, the victory of a favorite horse, the issue of a question eloquently argued at the bar, or in the great council of the nation, well, which of these kinds of reputation should I prefer? That of a horse-jockey, a fox-hunter, an orator, or the honest advocate of my country’s rights? ~ Thomas Jefferson

[Table mates Dave and Karin in the chow line . . . ]

I’ve always thought I could use my brain and my heart to jockey everyone around to the good. But life is not jockeyable. When you try, you make people infinitely crazier than they already were, including or especially yourself. ~ Anne Lamott

[Our table, lucky number 12?]

The sport of horse racing which, at its best, showcases the majestic beauty of this animal and the athleticism of jockeys, has reached an alarming level of corruption and exploitation. ~ Tom Udall

[The raffle ticket line . . . ]

This is a really lovely horse, I once rode her mother. ~ Ted Walsh

[Up and running . . . ]

The best jockey in the world is never going to win races riding a lame horse. But even a mediocre jockey can win races riding a champion. ~ Warren Buffett

I love horses. I spent seven years as a racing commissioner on a horse-racing board. ~ Bo Derek

[Our neighbor table (we generally had no complaints about them) . . . ]

You know I have about the same interest in jewelry as I have in politics, horse racing, modern poetry, and women who need weird excitement – none. ~ Cary Grant

[Seen wandering the facility . . . ]

I like horse racing but I’m not an All-Star in horse racing. I’m an All-Star fan in horse racing. ~ Nikola Jokic

I follow the horses. And the horses I follow, follow horses. ~ Joe E. Lewis

[Folks settling in . . . ]

In a lot of people’s minds, a girl jockey is cute and delicate. With me, what you get is reckless and aggressive. ~ Julie Krone

[The photographer of those “seen wandering the facility” . . . ]

If horse racing is the sport of kings, then drag racing must be the sport of queens. ~ Bert Sugar

A good jockey is one who settles his mount into a rhythm that even the most casual observer can notice. If a jockey is bouncing around on a horse like a pinball machine, then the horse has something to think about other than running. ~ C. N. Richardson

[Eat, drink, and be merry . . . ]

I wanted to be a jockey. ~ Davy Jones

[Another perspective on the Dogs . . . ]

If horse racing is the sport of kings then surely bowling is a very good sport as well! ~ Homer Simpson

[The Dogs, close up and personal . . . ]

I’ve had a passion for horses since I was very young – I used to sit on the floor in front of the races on television and pretend to be a jockey – and I first began reading the racing form on the set of ‘The Partridge Family.’ ~ David Cassidy

[Nicole, the executive director of TLHD, a/k/a, the person in charge . . . ]

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries. ~ Will Rogers

[Nicole visits our table . . . ]

A Thoroughbred racehorse can go from 0 to 40 in a matter of three strides. It’s exhilarating the feeling of power underneath you is incredible. I love to learn what makes a Thoroughbred tick. ~ Chris McCarron

[TLHD board member Michael (later seen dancing) shooting the “hat ladies” . . . ]

If someone offers you a breath mint, accept it. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

[Serious dining taking place . . . ]

You don’t want to wait for that aged jockey role. ~ Billy Crystal

[ . . . across a crowded room . . . ]

Regrettably, there are more bad juleps than there are good ones. ~ Chuck Stinnett

[The bar, from afar . . . ]

I am too fat and tall to be a jockey. This is not self-deprecation – I realise that I am neither too fat nor too tall – but I am too fat and too tall to be a jockey. ~ Aisling Bea

[Nicole addresses the crowd . . . ]

When you are on a great horse, you have the best seat you will ever have. ~ Winston Churchill

I don’t know how anything could be bigger than the Kentucky Derby. If you hear of something, let me know… ~ J. Paul Reddam

[The perspective of the band stand from our table . . . ]

‘Open the whisky, Tom,’ she ordered, ‘and I’ll make you a mint julep. Then you won’t seem so stupid to yourself … Look at the mint!’ ~ F. Scott Fitzgerald 

[I had to pay a personal visit to the “hat ladies” . . . ]

‘Did you know say the true cause of the Civil War was some Northerner adding nutmeg to a mint julep?’ Lucy asked. ~ Mary Jane Hathaway

[I saw a man (Michael) who danced with his wife . . . ]

When you touch the dirt on the track you have the feeling, at that moment, that you are on the center stage of the universe. ~ Steve Cauthen

A horse never runs so fast as when he has other horses to catch up and outpace. ~ Ovid

I tell you waiting for the Derby to start is the longest day of your life… It’s just a unique time of thrill and tension and worry. ~ Penny Chenery

When a jockey retires, he just becomes another little man. ~ Eddie Arcaro

Hopefully you can catch that lightning in a bottle again. 44,000 registered foals and only 16 or 18 of them make it to the Derby. ~ John Sosby

[People began moving into the “stands” for the race . . . ]

The only sport I’m not interested in is horse racing. That’s because I don’t know the horses personally. ~ Nat King Cole

[The view from beyond the “stands” . . . ]

A horse doesn’t know whether the rider on his back wears a dress or pants away from the track. ~ Diane Crump

[“Down in front” . . . ]

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. ~ W. C. Fields

[Ready, set . . . ]

I think one of the most humiliating moments of my life was putting on spandex, personally. It’s always nice when four women pull you into spandex when you’re in jockey shorts. Yeah. ~ Michael Chiklis

[GO!!]

The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business. ~ John Steinbeck

[“And the race is on” . . . ]

The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip. ~ Henny Youngman

[Ruthie got place and show in the raffle . . . ]

Protected by a no-fly zone, surrounded by protesters, Trump Tower is buzzing with intensity. The president-elect’s family, loyalist advisers and wannabes all jockeying for position. ~ George Stephanopoulos

[And a drawing for a prize . . . ]

At first I wanted to be a jockey. I rode horses in Cleveland but I kept falling off and I was afraid of horses. So there wasn’t much of a future in it. ~ Tim Conway

[The young lady drew her parents ticket!]

I had dinner in Washington way, way back. This goes back to the nineties. It was the Jockey Club which was the restaurant at the Ritz-Carlton in Washington, and I can’t mention the names, but boy, would I love to. ~ Rush Limbaugh

Sometimes you buy the horse, sometimes you invest in the jockey. It really comes down to the actual business and the upside. ~ Mark Cuban

[And then we were done.]

Money, horse racing and women: three things the boys just can’t figure out. ~ Will Rogers

[Congratulations, Paulette! Say goodnight, Ralph!]

We should not feel so sorely grieved if no man who had not attained the full stature of a Webster, Clay, Van Buren, or Gerrit Smith could claim the right of the elective franchise. But to have drunkards, idiots, horse-racing, rum-selling rowdies, ignorant foreigners, and silly boys fully recognized, while we ourselves are thrust out from all the rights that belong to citizens, it is too grossly insulting to the dignity of woman to be longer quietly submitted to. ~ Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Until a drag queen walks into a school and beats eight kids to death with a copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” I think you’re focusing on the wrong shit. ~ Wanda Sykes

Up Next: Going back to catching up again . . .